


The Arrangement

by silasfinch



Series: The Arrangement [1]
Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Children, F/F, Gen, Marriage of Convenience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 64,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21794317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: This is a potential marriage of convenienceUnfortunately the convenience isn't for either of themEve Polastri is facing insolvency after a bad relationshipOksana is facing obligations to the only family she has ever knownCarolyn feels like rectifying both problems.27/08/20: Final Chapter
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Series: The Arrangement [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067720
Comments: 60
Kudos: 400





	1. Brillant Disguise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rysler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rysler/gifts).



> I was feeling whimsical and wanted to see what I could make of this plot device  
> Thanks to Rysler for catching mistakes.

_Well I've tried so hard baby_

_But I just can't see_

_What a woman like you_

_Is doing with me_

_So tell me who I see_

_When I look in your eyes_

_Is that you baby_

_Or just a brilliant disguise_

_Now you play the loving woman_

_I'll play the faithful man_

_But just don't look too close_

_Into the palm of my hand_

_We stood at the alter_

_The gypsy swore our future was right_

_But come the wee wee hours_

_Well maybe baby the gypsy lied_

_So when you look at me_

_You better look hard and look twice_

_Is that me baby_

_Or just a brilliant disguise_

_Tonight our bed is cold_

_Lost in the darkness of our love_

_God have mercy on the man_

_Who doubts what he's sure of_

_Bruce Springsteen - Brillant Disguise_

Eve Polastri did not live in the 18th Century. 

As a general rule, her place in the time/space continuum is not something she ponders too profoundly. She has gone through and actively supports many of the rights movements. This ethos includes everything from LGBT to climate and the preservation of the planet. Her first marriage ends because Eve is dismal at reaching even a minimal competency at the role. 

That last particular point makes Carolyn Martens's possible solution all the more ridiculous and laughable and why she needs to remind herself she lives in the 21st century. As a professional British Sign Language interpreter and Koren translator, she is familiar with the outlandish conversations; they don't often involve her life though. Her profession demands the ability to fade into the background to lead the person doing the speaking. 

It would be consistent with her luck lately for her former boss to suddenly develop a sense of humour and reveal hidden cameras. The truth isn't necessarily any better. 

"I would ask if you are joking, but you've got that scary maniacal gleam in your eye that resembles every Disney villain. I feel the need to back away slowly and speak in soothing tones." 

"Oh, I'm sorry Eve, I was under the impression you were in dire straights without and obvious solution and came to me for whatever help I could provide? If you aren't on the edge of bankruptcy with two ill parents and court in your future?"

Eve tries not to cringe at the woefully accurate description of her current circumstances. At least she can manage to talk about things without crying, which is a little progress. Her first post-divorce relationship was with a charming woman who curated art and owns several galleries. Rachel's grandmother was born deaf and was one of Eve's dearest friends. Unfortunately, Rachael hid a vicious temper, mean streak and flexible morality when it came to other people's money. Eve becomes responsible for half the debts because the cards were in her name, and they were in a relationship for a year and she didn't question the holidays or gifts. 

Carolyn is one of the few people to stand by her without judgement or condescension. The influential government official got her lawyers involved and managed to get the best deal possible. Eve did the translation for the older woman when she was doing business details in Seoul. 

"I was looking for a workable solution, not the proposition that I marry a woman half my age to get into more legal trouble," Eve points out with a laugh that borders on hysterical. 

"Do not be so quick to dismiss the plan. Marriages of convenience and convention are more common than you might think. Oksana needs a stable home after years away, and you need a home and ready access to money," Carolyn begins. 

"Marriage is a legally binding document with _legal_ ramifications. As you know better than most, my standing with the law isn't the greatest." 

"You were and are entirely innocent, and this arrangement could be the perfect opportunity for a fresh start without a mountain of unfair debt hanging over you. This idea would only involve the authorities if you were planning on lying to anyone on the practicalities. You are both legal citizens and will continue to be; you aren't planning on stealing anything directly from her, you are well qualified to meet her needs." 

Carolyn sits back and waits for Eve to consider her request and the reasons behind it. The decision could go either way, but at least her former colleague didn't storm out of the room. 

"Being a gold digger isn't a crime per se and not even morally questionable if the parties are on relatively equal standing. You are Hugh Hefner looking for a rotation of increasingly younger woman." 

"How far my standards have fallen if that is a compliment of the hour," Eve points out with a scowl. 

Carolyn doesn't offer any words of comfort, but she does slide over more of Eve's favourite shortbread, which Eve is developing an unhealthy obsession with as a way to cope with stress. 

***

"What does she get out of this arrangement?"

Eve doesn't last the whole 48 hours; she is too curious to know details of Carolyn's master plan. Their shared obsession with the truth is one of the reasons the working relationship is so profitable. Eve instinctively understood Carolyn's communication needs without needing any debriefing or clarification. 

"Her former dance instructor and the closest thing she has to a family is dying of a progressive neurological disorder. His two children adore Oksana, and they want to stay with her above all else. Of course, she is little more then a big sister who brings them presents from all over the world. However, Konstantin trusts the bond in light of the alternatives."

"Konstantin Vasiliev? As in your former.."

"Long-time friend and former lover, the same. Now you understand my eagerness to assist both parties in this situation. From a certain point of view, such a union presents an eloquent solution. 

"I am sorry, Carolyn, that must be painful news to hear about someone you care about." 

"When you get to my age, death becomes a regular visitor, but I want you to know that I am not taking this situation lightly or on a whim. The implications are significant." 

"What does she think of the idea?"

"Oksana. You should call your future wife by her first name, don't you think?"

"What does _Oksana_ think of the whole situation? I can't imagine a twenty-something dancer swiping right on my proverbial profile" Eve comments dryly. 

"Do not judge Oksana’s preferences by her age or appearances alone. She tends to have a broad range of interests and desires. There are many aspects of your life and experience that will be appealing to her," Carolyn disagrees confidently. 

"Insolvency and one lesbian relationship that failed spectacularly?"

"Oh Eve, enough with the self-flagellation and anaemic self-esteem. You gave your heart away cheaply to the first pretty girl who tempered your dormant libido, its all very sad but you need to move on." 

"Can we get back to the question please?"

"Oksana is willing to do anything for the children not to repeat her experiences in care, even though the British and Russian systems are vastly different. She is especially close to Irina and is willing to build her next career move around her education. I needed to convince her that running away with minors was not a sensible solution, even if Russia's laws are fluid and corrupt." 

"That's got to be rough for a celebratory dancer whose's only previous concerns include gossip magazines, dates and dancing," Eve replies, feeling a wave of sympathy for the younger woman. 

"Yes, but she is doing an admirable job of holding things together."

"What is Irina’s sign fluency? What is her reading comprehension age? How fluent is she is Russian Sign Language versus British?" 

Eve begins the questioning almost without thinking. She isn't expert in educating deaf children, but the community of interpreters is small enough that she has taken the role occasionly. There are significant gaps in the system, and she doesn't want the child she hasn't met to fall into a cycle of poor literacy and education. 

Elena looks up in confusion at the rapid-fire questions. She is taking notes for Carolyn but looks deeply confused by this turn of evidence. It's possible that she can't make sense of Eve's rant either. 

"These are questions you will need to ask her teachers and father. My knowledge of sign language is limited to supporting several charities and learning my sign name to amuse Irina."

"She Who Interferes A Lot?" 

Eve makes the quip while signing the name almost absently, ignoring Elena’s wince and muttering. Carolyn knows what she was getting the second she thought of this notion and all its ramifications. 

***

"How would this work exactly? Unlike the movies, marriages of convenience are not legitimate ways to set a life path." 

"Marriages and relationships exist on all sorts of foundations in the modern age. Why not a sign language interpreter and the woefully underprepared guardian of a deaf child. We don't need to answer any tricky questions from authorities until the legal situation becomes official. Right now, all you need to do is consider the idea of marrying a woman who needs help raising a child."

"The fact she is Rachel's opposite in every way and highly unlikely to flee the country doesn't hurt the equation either. Never mind the fact we won't be initiating any physical or sexual relationship?" Eve asks pointedly. 

"Human companionship takes many forms, and I loathe the idea of that witch woman sending you into a life of spinsterhood. Whatever other arrangements occur do not take away from the central premise."

"Two desperate people falling under your Machiavellian schemings? 

"Whatever labels you put on this plan, I am pleased that you are least willing to consider it before the foreclosure and settlement date. Although you and your parents are welcome to stay in my London apartment indefinitely if that helps ease things."

"Thank you, but we need to start planning for the future with dad's declining mobility and dodgy heart. I want to give them as much freedom and independence as possible why we still can." 

Eve doesn't mention that she and her parents still need space from each other, given their difficulties in accepting her marriage breakdown. Her last relationship was the source of much tension, especially when Eve reveals some of the more troubling details. "Why can't you go back to Niko?" doesn't feel any less judgemental in whatever language. 

"Set up the meeting with both Konstantin and Oksana. I want to get a sense of both their perspectives on the matter."

***

"I mean it, Carolyn, I want to meet her before making any final decisions or even considering this any further."

It's several days later, and Carolyn is doing her best no to crow in victory and in Eve's humble opinion failing miserably. Elena is the only one who knows about the project, so the young Executive Assistant is getting it from all directions. 

"Of course, she said the same thing with a much more creative vocabulary in multiple languages. This arrangement won't work without the consent of both parties.” 

"How are you going to judge success? If we manage not to resort to name-calling and hair-pulling? 

"If you can come to a mutually beneficially understanding that helps to alleviate both your problems and the placement of two lonely children."

"This isn't a hallmark movie, Carolyn, don't expect a ready-made family with matching sweaters or something. I sincerely doubt we will make it past the first introductions."

"As you pointed out. There are not that many BSL interpreters at your level, still fewer who are bisexual and in need of unusual solutions. My expectations are somewhat more modest; If the two of you find an arrangement in whatever what suits you, I will consider this a successful operation."

"Let's see what happens after we meet to discuss our individual and joint circumstances," Eve cautions. 

"That's all I ask of you both."

***

"When is this hypothetical wedding going to take place?"

Carolyn looks up from her paperwork, barely resisting the urge to smile in triumph. Eve's obsession with problem-solving becomes evident in all aspects of her life. It is such a shame that this tendency fails her when it matters most. Carolyn is still putting out feelers for the whereabouts of Rachel Ward and Eve's money but the so far the woman remains elusive. 

"In about six months. Konstantin is still relatively well, and we want to get the children settled into a new arrangement with specialised tutoring for Irina. Contrary to popular belief, I don't have the power to make this scheme successful. Consider the six months something of a trial period for which you will receive compensation. If the idea is still unpalatable, we will go back to the drawing board."

"You cannot play with children's emotions like that!" Eve says firmly.

"We won't be, Eve. The children are familiar with large numbers of caregivers and support staff working with their father. Both Igor and Irina are becoming used to adults coming and going. Any introduction to them will happen carefully and will not mention any escalation in the relationship," Carolyn explains placatingly. 

Eve feels moderately better, knowing that the children are not objects in some broader games. Then again, a desire to protect these children is at the centre of all Carolyn's plans. 

"This whole thing is over if they show the slightest signs of additional distress or a better solution presents itself for Irina and her learning," Eve warns. 

"Their father is dying Eve, leaving them without family who will claim them. Konstantin is an enemy of his homeland in more ways than one. Irina and Igor will simply relish having Oksana as a fixture in daily routine and somebody to teach them signs."

She can't claim to be an expert but Eve's limited interactions with kids, nothing is that simple. However, it does reinforce the point that Carolyn didn't pick her name out of an interpreter's catalogue and gave the situation careful consideration before springing it on Eve. 

***

"Don't worry; you are not marrying a teenager or groupie."

Eve realises that she isn't hiding her emotions well. Carolyn did a characteristically comprehensive overview of Oksana and her life to date. So Eve has a decent biographical summary from murky childhood in Russia to considerable success as a dancer in multiple fields. It didn't take long to find her impressive photo gallery and social media following. Some of the Instagram posts were awe-inspiring, which begs the question, why is she willing to enter such an arrangement? This woman could have her pick of glamorous conquests or unusual marriages for that matter. 

"Dancer's builds do not lend themselves to womanly curves and the usual markers of age, but I assure you I am Russian and a potential bride but not of the mail-order variety. All my papers, finances and professional aspirations are in place," Oksana says.

"Wish I could say the same. I wasn't judging you, except trying to figure out why on earth someone like you would even contemplate this absurd idea, a middle-aged woman who is borderline destitute," Eve confesses with a brittle laugh. 

"I was thinking that Carolyn's judgement in selecting a potential companion is improving vastly. You are far from a disappointment, Eve Polastri. You shouldn't scowl so much in photographs. It doesn't do you any favours," Oksana advises helpfully. 

They move cautiously to the table with an elaborate but light lunch spread. Eve doesn't have much of an appetite but wasting food is a crime in her family. Oksana has no such inhibition and piles on a selection of cold meats and cheese. They eat in silence before Eve summons up the courage to speak. 

"I'll keep that in mind, but my hair is a lost cause when it comes to taming, more to the despair of multiple reletives." 

"Leave your hair alone, its a work of art. Should we sit and map out the road to the altar?" Oksana says seriously. 

"I am so sorry about Konstintian and what is happening with his daughter but why contemplate marriage? It is possible to hire private BSL interpreters and support staff. Why entertain Carolyn's notion?”

"I'm the closest thing to family Irina and Igor will have left when he dies, which won't be long now. He keeps begging me to take them and avoid any stay in the foster system. I know first hand what those places are like, the authorities will take a dim view of a nomadic dancer with a Rolodex of girlfriends. It's probably a good thing I couldn't get any of them pregnant," Oksana admits frankly. 

Eve manages to choke on her sip of water but tries to recover with a small of amount of grace and etiquette. If Oksana is anything, she manages to be brutally honest. 

"I'm not precisely paradigm of stability and structure myself." 

"Do you honestly think the pool of people willing to entertain the notion of marrying a dancer with commitment phobia and an instant family is large, Eve? Of course not, we can build the appearance of stability together.” 

"Can't say that those particulars are something I've considered too deeply but I imagine its fairly small."

"In whatever of the 27 languages you speak." Oksana agrees mockingly. 

"I only speak four languages, and even then, my Chinese is barely worthy of the term fluent." 

Oksana laughs before turning the conversation to Irina, and how she is coping with the fact that her father can no longer sign to her or annunciate for lip reading. Eve finds herself lost in the particulars and almost forgets her nerves or incredulity. 

"I'll be willing to give this solution a try if you are. My parents need more help than I can provide from afar and I would like to meet Irina. Maybe we can make a go of it." 

"Ok, then lets set up a trial period." 


	2. A Woman Like You

"I don't want kids, they are boring and take up to too much time and attention."

“Maybe don't lead with that stunning insight when meeting with the family and adoption services?" Eve advises hesitantly. 

It still feels all sorts of surreal to be following Oksana and preparing to meet the family at the centre of Carolyn's unorthodox problem-solving. Getting through a relatively painless breakfast conversation is nothing in comparison to considering all the logistics with a father and his children. Eve doesn't want to read the family details like this is some briefing mission, she will meet Konstantin Vasiliev and hopefully build a rapport from there. 

"All I know is that Igor and Irina can't and won't go into the 'care' of any system. I'm not much of a safety net, but I know how to make them both smile and slay the 'monsters' under the bed. Konstantin is my only family, the least I can do is try." 

Such a proclamation doesn't fill Eve with a tremendous amount of confidence. At the same time, she can understand the predicament. Older children with special needs don't typically do well in the foster care system, especially if they are initially from other countries without support networks. 

"How are children going to fit into your career path of spectacular dance productions and world tours?" Eve wonders out loud. 

"There are plenty of shows in the London area that need dancers of my calibre. There is no role that I can't take on a transfer. Besides the career of a dancer, even in modern forms, is fleeting, my hamstrings and knee joints are a mess of injuries, titanium and grit. A lighter schedule will keep them wanting more."

"I'm sorry you are in pain." 

"It's better than fading away in a haze of bad reviews and subtle indications about the 'next Oksana' who is dying to understudy for me."

"You are hardly old, Oksana." Eve snorts with a laugh. 

"Dancers age the same as for dogs, fast and hard." 

Eve doesn't have anything to say to the comment, so she ends up following her into the house. She has only met the woman once, but Eve hates the idea of such pain. 

***

"I know you must think this idea crazy and ridiculous for all sorts of reasons."

"I think as the woman who is standing before you considering the prospect; I am in no position to judge." 

The term 'shell of a man' is no exaggeration when it comes to the man in the wheelchair. A previously active and fit dancer physique is rapidly atrophying, and there is no weight left for him to lose. Even though the room is full of medical equipment and schedules, there are homely touches as well. The children's artwork is on every wall, along with souvenirs from trips around the world. This little family unit had an unconventional life on the road, but it was a loving one. 

"If I were at the centre of a large and loving Russian family or the statesman of a community, my options and outlook may be different. As it is, I didn't leave the homeland under the best terms either professionally or personally. My wife's family is no position to look after Irina and Igor will never leave his sister." The speech is exhausting him, but he continues. 

Eve reaches over the table, almost absently, wipes away sweat on his brow and over the cup of water. The actions are practically instinctive after caring for her parents for so long. 

"Its a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of somebody with such a promising career ahead," Eve offers hesitantly. 

"I know, fortunately, I am wealthy enough to make provisions for the children and put a structure in place to support their wellbeing, education and future. What no money can provide is a sense of familiarity and security from one of the few constants in their lives, but there are enough resources to help Oksana find her way."

Eve doesn't think it wise to mention that it is unlikely he secures all his finds on the back of a chorographers salary, no matter how brilliant. Carolyn promises that the money is legitimate and will past the strictest investigation but Eve isn't naive enough to entirely trust the word of a politician. The British-Russian relations are murky and suspect when it comes to laundering money and accounts. 

"I can understand the value of consistency at that age, especially for Irina. I'll stay for a while and meet with Irina. We can take things from there if she seems agreeable.” 

***

Igor and Irina are average children. 

Eve doesn't know much about small humans in general, but these two seem like good representations. It's obvious, even to a layperson, that they are products of an unconventional upbringing and now facing the death of a parent. 

Igor greets her confidently without much hesitation. His Russian accent is noticeable, but the grasp of English is competent and confident. The hearing sibling is protective of his sister and naturally takes the dominant role in any interactions. 

" _Hi, my name is Eve Polastri, and I am going to working with your father and Oksana on sign language tutoring_." 

Eve crouches down, so she is eye level with the children, watching in fascination as Igor almost absently turns to start signing. The words are a combination of British Sign Language, Russian, and a unique sibling code. She gently taps him on the arm to get their attention before continuing. 

" _May I try talking to your sister, even though you are doing a brilliant job of translating? Eve_ asks and signs respectfully. 

"She isn't dumb or anything. We had troubling finding the right school before coming here when Momma died," he shoots back in a preemptive defence of his sister. 

"I know that Igor. Hopefully, we can work together to make things a little easier for Irina going forward."

One advantage of being a high-level interpreter is that she covers a variety of roles and responsibilities. While she and Oksana are working out a 'trial' period, her presence as a BSL expert is a natural fit now that the children have a permanent address. 

It doesn't take the experience of an expert to know that Irina is a shy child and doesn't feel overly comfortable in formal situations meeting new adults. Her signs are competent, but without any embellishment or enthusiasm that gives away her personality. Somebody who is deaf from birth needs more fluency and character, but sadly this kind of expression is not uncommon. 

" _I like your hair,"_ Irina signs from behind her brother. 

" _Thank you. Your dress is pretty; the colour looks lovely on you."_

Eve watches as Irina inches out so she can watch the moments fully. She is still unsure but willing to engage on a small level. 

***

If Eve squints hard enough, she can see what Konstintian is saying about Oksana and the children. 

The dancer truly is a whirlwind of energy and eccentric movement. Both children follow her around and beg for acrobatic tricks and feats defying gravity and common sense. Dance and acrobatics is also a visual medium, so Irina is enjoying the show as much as Igor. 

"Higher. Oksana, Higher." 

Eve watches in fascination as Oksana obligates the request and performs elaborate twists and turns in mid-air, somehow managing to make the ribbons and silks flutter around Irina, making her smile and clap her hands. 

"My most brilliant and difficult pupil. The only reason she lasted with me so long is I let her ignore every safety regulation and common sense imaginable. She was a nightmare for the stage managers and insurance people."

Konstantin is sitting with Eve at the edge of the garden watching the impromptu show. It must be painful for such a previously active man to sit on the sidelines and watch somebody else play like this, even if the gardens are accessible using a wheelchair. 

"I can see Oksana being a nightmare to any form of authority and structure; she is charming at witty though," Eve adds hastily, for fear of offending the man. 

"Her tendency towards rebellion and arrogance is why I need somebody with greater diplomacy and specific skills to foster Irina's education and integration into the British systems. All three of them need structure to figure this new system out."

"I can imagine Oksana making their birthday fun and possibly providing a legendary amount of candy and junk food," Eve muses out loud. 

"They will need fun and adventure in their lives when I am gone," Konstientian smiles sadly. "Carolyn genuinely did speak highly of your skills and talents. However unconventional, you could be an asset to my children and Russians are almost fluent in the language of mutual benefits and reciprocity." 

"By which you mean bribery and corruption after one look at my finances?" Eve asks drily. 

"By which I mean exactly what I say. We both having problems that need solving with some urgency and Carolyn has offered a possible way to assist three people that she cares about deeply."

Eve doesn't know what it says about her that the proposition is becoming more attractive with every passing minute. The reality is, an interpreter and translator isn’t going to earn enough money to pay back credits and support her parents. There are only so many favours Eve is willing to call on, and wrongly or rightly she does trust Carolyn Martens. 

***

Eve wants the role. 

She isn't entirely sure about the whole marriage thing, but she wants to support Irina and by extension Carolyn in these difficult times ahead. Strictly speaking, she is no position to offer any guidance with her life in shambles, but here is a place she can be useful. 

"Do you sign?" 

Oksana is theoretically giving her a house tour, including the significant modifications on account of the progressing illness. In reality, Eve is trying to get a sense of this young woman that she may or may not marry in the future. Either way, they are going to be spending a considerable amount of time together. 

_"A little bit. Irina and Igor take turns in teaching me every time I come home."_

Oksana obligingly switches to sing language. Her movements are halting and unsure, but there is a natural grace to how she expresses herself that makes up for any technical lapses. Eve resists the urge to reach out and make minor corrections. 

_"What is your sign name?" she asks curiously._

_"Sky Dancer"_ Oksana offers both in sign and out loud. 

Eve grins at the phrase and could swear the taller woman flushes slightly and shuffles her feet. There is a defensiveness as she goes onto explain the context. 

"Irina was going through a romantic poetry phase and it kind of stuck as they got older. It was the best of a bad lot let me tell you. The children of artistic directors and choreographers tend to have a high opinion of metaphors and other such things." 

"The name suits you. There are plenty more obscure and embarrassing ones out there with humiliating reasons behind them. I am not telling you mine for that very reason, who knows, Irina and Igor might come up with a new one?" 

"Oh come on, that's not fair. I have to know now." Oksana pouts. 

"We'll see how far you get in your lessons; the kids will swindle it out of me in under a week." 

Eve Polastri is not a teacher, but she doesn't need to be to know that Oksana Astankova is going to be a terrible pupil. Learning any language as an adult is challenging, but the syntax and grammar of sign are uniquely confronting. These factors will be particularly relevant if Oksana and the twins are speaking elements of both Russian and English. 

"Do I get a reward if I practice hard and learn all my nouns and verbs? " Oksana coaxes, her voice caught between teasing and serious. 

"I'm sure I can spare another sticker chart for a progress report if you are attached to the idea, do you have a preference between cartoon characters?" Eve asks teasingly. 

"Food. I want food."

"I'm not enabling your sugar addiction and dealing with your hyperactivity along with the children." Eve cautions firmly.

Oksana continues complaining as they move through the different areas of the large two-story house. There are visible signs that this is the home of a creative person. There are posters and professional photos in the hallway. Eve stops to admire a shot of Oksana making an elaborate move with silks. She is high above the audience and in a fancy costume that leaves little to the imagination in terms of muscle definition and tone. 

"Konstantin calls me vain, but he is the one with the shrine to all his past glories and the starlets that he made along the way. I'm surprised he doesn't convert one of these rooms to a museum of props." Oksana waves her hand dismissively. 

"The bright lights of Broadway and the West End seem to agree with his assessment, judging form the reviews and awards. I managed to trip over in 2-inch heels at my friend's wedding, with the photographic evidence to prove it," Eve laments. 

"Don't discount the talents of your hands, Eve Polastri." 

Eve gives her a long flat stare in warning before moving past her and moves down the stairs. 

"This may be a foreign concept to you, Oksana, but you don't need to flirt with me. Our arrangement doesn't need to include any of those entanglements."

"I was talking about your signing ability Ms Polastri, where did your mind go?" Oksana calls after her. 

***

"I know people who can find your ex-girlfriend and make her pay, if you want a more practical wedding gift than china." 

The two of them are sitting together in the lounge while Konstantin is receiving lung treatments and everyone else in the household is busy doing chores or homework. Konstantin wants to share a meal with Eve and Oksana to finalise some of the first details, especially as his health is unpredictable and the children will start a new school term soon, 

"Going for the whole Russian cliche then? Want to take her behind a butcher's shop?" Eve observes, without looking up from her Deaf Education book. 

"I'm serious - I would make things much easier if this woman took partial or complete responsibility for the mess, voluntarily or involuntary." 

"Thanks for the offer but her grandmother is a dear friend who feels guilty enough. Rachael deserves many things, but she should keep all her limbs and organs in place," Eve says firmly. 

"Ok, whatever, but the offer is there if you change your mind," Oksana says with an air of disinterest. 

"If this is going to work or even get past the first hurdle, we need to have clear boundaries on what is and isn't acceptable. While not threatening human life is top of the list, there are a few other things to finalise." 

"Do tell" Oksana looks bored but her has absolute focus. 

"We are both doing this for specific reasons that are not about us, you the Vasilv family, me financial solvency and my parents. This foundation does not leave room for anything else, especially emotions and feels. Our compatible orientations are a bonus for combinability sake." 

"An entirely straight woman certainly wouldn't admire my trapezius or deltoids with quite so much intensity," Oksana agrees with a grin. 

Eve struggles to fight a blush and waves a hand dismissively. 

"That's an irrelevant point." 

"We could have fringe benefits?" Oksana disagrees. 

"No, absolutely not."

"Did she hurt you in other ways?" Oksana asks softly. 

"This brings me to the second point, no deep and meaningful chats about the past. We are working in the present, and that's it."

***

"I received positive reports from Konstantin and everyone else, well done Eve." 

"Don't sound so surprised, Carolyn, I am capable of functioning as a rational adult and make a decent impression."

"All present evidence to the contrary." 

Eve wants to feel embarrassed, but she can't argue the point. Her slide into self-pity and depression was almost cliche and worthy of a Bridget Jones spin-off without the beautiful people vying for her the right to rescue her. 

"Let's talk money, how much exactly do you owe, and what do your parents need?"

"Oh, we don't do need to go into that now. Let's focus on how well the kids adjust to my role as a tutor." 

"Have these last months not cured you of your bleeding heart ideals, Eve? Of course, we are going to talk about money and how to make this a _mutually-_ beneficial relationship. Half your problem with Rachael was your inability to stand up for yourself and woeful negotiation skills." Carolyn retorts firmly. 

Eve winces at the lecturing note in the older woman's tone. She has no doubt they are going to spend the next several hours play the role of forensic accountants. She has no head for numbers but Eve knows precisely how much money she owes and how many years of working round the clock it will take before she is in the black. Sadly, before adding on the ongoing costs of supporting her parents and finding a new place to live. Eve feels like she is living one of those horrible economics problems in school, complete with different options and equations. 

"I sent you the latest round of statement and letters. Unless Rachael brought an apartment in Stockholm or a world cruise, the figures should be accurate." 

"Excellent, then we have an actual figure to work with, Konstantin will pay you a generous salary and reduce your expenses by offering you a room at the compound. Your parents will stay with me and receive the best nursing care both inside and outside the NHS. A lovely Korean nurse is looking for a job, so it all works out well." 

"I can't ask you..."

"Things will be difficult, similar to the worst days of student loan repayment schedules but you will have a path to solvency and a better future." 

Eve almost believes her. 


	3. Words Whispered Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a small amount about sign language and alternative communication but I am not an expert.   
> If anybody has any corrections or comments let me know.

Irina Vasiliev is having a bad day. 

Eve is returning to the complex to start the lessons in BSL. This part of her 'assignment' will be relatively straightforward. She will continue Irina's private tutoring lessons for several weeks before she enrolls in school before the new term. The young girl's primary education was sound, but there were gaps in confidence and competency with sign language and interacting with strangers outside of her rapidly diminishing family circle. 

A common misconception is that people who were born profoundly deaf didn't make any noise and were strictly artisans with their hands. In reality, many people rely on grunts and hisses to get across points and emphasis. Deaf High Schools were not bastions of silence and peace. 

Irina is doing her best to make as much noise as humanly possible, even if she cannot hear the results of her actions. Her small study room is the wreckage of broken antiques and torn books. Eve blinks in surprise at the scene before her. 

Oksana huddles in the doorway, giving a running commentary on the situation. Eve cannot help but notice that they are leaning close together but now is not the time for such observations.

"Irina and Igor got into some sort of fight, but they were signing way too fast for me to understand what they were saying. Igor is sulking at the bottom of the garden."

Eve doesn't expect there to be any 'honeymoon' period in her integration with the family, but it is vaguely surprising to be in the fold so quickly. As both Oksana and Konstenian point out, this transitory household runs on a small army of strangers. 

"Let me sit with her for a while." 

***

"I _t's not fair._ " 

It took her 20 minutes of sitting on the floor in the middle of the mess before Irina decided to speak. 

Eve isn't going to disagree with her new student there, Irina is losing one of the last remaining pillars of her life. Nobody knows us as well as our parents and close family. Irina and Igor didn't have the latter and were losing the former a little more every day. 

Eve would be impressed with Irina's stubbornness and willpower if it wasn't a sign of a counterproductive habit. Deaf children grow accustomed to the fact that the majority of the world cannot easily communicate with them. Every person learns a way to overcome this from lip-reading to using note pads. However, when they are not feeling cooperative, it is just as easy for these kids to retreat into their inner world. 

_"What isn't fair, Irina?"_

_"Igor won't let me come with him to play. He says it's dangerous for me."_ _Irina confesses. "I have no else to play with."_

Eve knows this statement to be an exaggeration of sorts. While experiencing an unconventional childhood following their father, Irina made a few good friends who contact her regularly. Her new school is careful about starting the introduction process earlier. It will do no good to point this out now. 

_"Why did you break things, Irina. You seem extra sad today?"_

Irina is too clever not to sense the trap that is 'adults forcing you to talk about feelings' so she returns to glowering at Eve and makes tiny hand gestures, the equivalence of mumbling. Her small fingers are barely leaving the tight fists.

Eve crouches in front of the small child, waiting and all but insisting on proper eye contract before attempting to continue the conversation any further. She spent five years waiting out tense negotiations in Seoul. Patience reaps rewards. 

_"We don't know each other well yet. You need to sign more clearly, Irina."_

_"Nothing is the same anymore. Life was better with only us."_ Irina replays with deliberate and petulent slowness. She has a particular sign indicating the unit with her father and twin.

_"I know, but it is my job to help you learn to adjust to the change, Litte One. Many people are working really hard to make things easier for you, not only your Daddy and Igor."_

" _Oksana?"_ Irina replies brightly.

_"Yes, Oksana is coming home and to help you and your brother cope. You will also have regular teachers and assistants at school. Miss Sadie will visit you and Ignor every week."_

Irina knows all these details already. The grief counsellors carefully lay out the details at each of the seasons, but repetition was going to be vital in this situation. A sense of security and safety comes from knowing that there will be some strong foundations that remain in place. 

***

Irina is laughing, and it feels like a significant victory. 

Eve cannot claim many achievements in recent months and years. The humiliation of divorcing with a terribly-hurt decent husband followed by bankruptcy does a number on one's self-esteem. Starting over at any age is rough, but there is something about doing it past 35 that makes the prospect even more daunting. Aside from the support of friends like Carolyn, all she has heard from people lately is that she brought this situation on herself by leaving Niko. 

Successfully making a sad child feel slightly better about the state of the world feels like a productive use of her time. Maybe a renewed sense of self-confidence will be one of the fringe benefits Carolyn is so gleeful about mentioning. 

Of course, making the child happy involves sharing ridiculous stories from childhood and her first efforts to learn sign language. The recollections were embarrassing but worth the effort. 

_"Do you think Daddy will be angry at me for the vase?"_

" _No, he is worried that you are sad. We may be able to fix the cracks."_ Eve relays, slowing her signing down intentionally. 

_"I wish he could talk to me. The videos aren't the same."_ _Irina confides._

Some astute counsellor suggests that Konstantin signs stories and letters while his hands were still fully functional. Unfortunately, fine motor control is one of the first aspects to succumb to neuromuscular degeneration. Eve finds the library heartbreaking tender and beautiful. She can tell that Konstantin studied hard to learn fluent sign as soon as his daughter was born and diagnosed. 

_"Talk to him as much as you want. He still loves to talk even if he can't reply. We can work on lipreading together._

***

"She is doing better now."

Oksana looks at all kinds of sceptical as she pushes off the wall and strides towards Eve. She is still put out that her usual tricks didn't touch this episode. Konstantin was sitting in his wheelchair; his eyes glazed over with both worry and pain. 

"Did you manage to get her to tell you what's wrong? Rini is never so violent. She is so gentle like her mother, all of the nurses adore." The father muses out loud.

"She isn't vying to be an Orthodox child saint, Konsti. Why wouldn't she lash out at life right now. Just be grateful she hasn't developed a taste for arson." Oksana disagrees with a roll of her eyes, but the nickname was soft. 

"I know that..."

"This was a garden variety upset compounded by very tricky circumstances. Irina is no less the sweet girl, but she realises things can't go back to the way they were. The vase was sheer frustration because Igor turned away from her efforts to sign." Eve explains hurriedly before an argument can break out. 

"Eve we should complete your remaining paperwork and finalise the timetable for the next few weeks." 

***

"I can't thank you enough for staying, Eve."

"Don't mention it, its more important that Irina was willing to talk to me in the end and we made some progress." 

Konstantin still manages to look dignified behind his office desk, even if his body is failing. Eve is more confident than ever that he is more than a mere dancer of great renown. He wants to sign all the paperwork and legal documents while he is still able to do so himself. 

"One of the greatest heartbreaks of this wretched end was realising I could no longer sign to Irina. I can barely 'bable' anymore," her new employer says softly. 

"You provided a wonderful legacy and foundation for those children. She knows how much you love her and would do anything to stay with them." Eve hates how cliché the words sound. 

"I hope so; let’s review the documents."

It makes Eve flush with embarrassment when her financial situation is out there quite literally in black white. He will know how much of his money will go to creditors, claimants and medical expenses. The man is courteous enough not to comment. 

“I am pleased that Irina took to you so quickly. I can understand her but it is impossible to sooth her in real time without an interpreter there.”

“As most children do she will learn more effective ways to communication frustration. Igor antagonised her some by turning away but she will gain confidence with our immersive programme.

Sometimes Eve wishes she could talk about language and communication all day. It was easy to feel confident and worthwhile when talking about a topic you are can claim expertise in. The details of every life melt away under memories and training.”

***

"That was horrible. I don't ever want to see anything like that again." 

"Welcome to parenthood/guardianship. It isn't all sunshine and laughter, Oksana." Eve repeats the comment for the second or third time.

The two women have fallen into a routine over the last few days. Sharing at least one meal a day helps them get to know each other. Carolyn may have confidence that this can work, but mutual desperation is not the most reliable foundation. Eve's entire professional world revolves around accurate and nuanced communication. This situation is neither personal nor entirely professional, but the principles will still serve her well. 

"I need more time to figure things out, but Konstantin can barely speak or breathe without that Darth Vader Machine. There will be no handy translation manuals for the little monsters." There is too much affection in the words to be an insult. 

"This must be an incredibly painful time for you as well. Losing such a friend and mentor, let alone taking on such responsibility." 

"The children need the hand-holding and counselling, not me." 

"That doesn't mean that your stress isn't profound in its way. He is a family member to you as well.” Eve disagrees gently.

"Can we change the subject, please. You aren't getting paid for the mushy stuff," Oksana says briskly deliberately mentioning the money situation.

They eat in silence for a few minutes but there is no tension between them as they both work to gather their thoughts. There are definite ‘no go zones’ for them both. Secrets are inescapable for people willing to entertain such an idea to gain familiar and financial stability.

"You need to start taking intensive lessons and learn alongside Irina." Eve switches topics obligingly.

"I thought we already talked about this; I will take my lessons and get all your gold stars, literally and figuratively. Irina is already talking about having her ‘all to herself’ for a few hours.”

"We need to change the game plan. Irina adores you and thinks the stars are your playground, but you need to understand the daily grind of signing, not the fun stuff. How to talk her through upsets like today when she doesn’t want to play along.”

"I am one, you know." 

"A what?" Eve asks suspiciously.

"A Gold Star Lesbian," Oksana smirks triumphantly. 

"Colour me shocked. Your constant observation of everything with an X chromosome sort of gave that away. I wasn't under any illusions that you spent any about of time in the closet, can we refocus please?" 

"As you wish, but we are revisiting this point later."

"I can assure you a 'later in lesbian life crisis' does not make an exciting tale. Never mind the fact such terms as 'gold star' are problematic and artificially confine people. You would be board in seconds if we went down that rabbit hole.

"6."

Eve is half convinced she will get whiplash from trying to keep up with Oksana's rapidly cycling conversations. No wonder she needs such an energic and risky job. Anything boring and predicable would drive her up the wall in days. This character flaw makes her both an asset and a burden when it comes to the Irina situation. 

"I speak six languages, and two more are almost fluent." 

Surprisingly there is no hint of boast in the explanation, and for once Oksana is choosing to regard her seriously. Her perfect eyebrows are scrunching in a frown of concentration. She wants Eve to understand something more profound with this part of their conversation. Oksana doesn't want to fail at this arrangement any more than Eve for different reasons but the same end goal. 

"A regular polyglot. That's impressive Oksana, especially for somebody who isn't a professional linguist or interpreter. Carolyn didn't overstate your talents."

"Carolyn worships accuracy like most people worship rock stars. The only reason I didn't learn sign is that I travelled too much to find a class. The grammar system and facial expression need..." Oksana rushes on almost defensively. 

"I understand, picking up this language isn't as simple as a year abroad in France or Spain. There are few common root systems beyond common sense." 

“Yes exactly but I am willing to learn now, even if my way is far more fun than yours. I will learn fast.” Oksana vows seriously.

As if to prove the point they spend the rest of the break conversing in sign language. Eve doesn’t need to make too many corrections. Oksana puts all her theatrically leanings into the task and Eve laughs at the absurdity.

***

The early morning hours are the worst. 

Eve Polastri grows to dread the early morning hours when she has enough time to think about all her mistakes and missteps. It still feels a little strange not to sleep next to someone. Her friends struggle to believe it when she says the adjustment to sharing a life with a man versus a woman isn't so profound. It is still a negotiation of communication and compatibility.

The physical aspects are almost secondary to her. It still feels equally lonely at night when she spends all of her adult life in relationships. Even in her 20s and 30s, she didn't party or have casual relationships. For all her faults, Eve fell for Rachel hard and started to build a life with her. 

The entire bottom floor is a large open plan area that suits both wheelchairs and children. The sounds of this large house are entirely different from her apartment. Eve lies in the guest bedroom listening to the sounds of morning nurses assisting Konstantin and the children. Igor is talking to his father in hushed tones, and it sounds like he is translating for Irina. 

"Get up, Eve," she whispers to herself. 

The advantage of letting Carolyn talk her into this job and possible 'marriage,' is that there is little time to wallow in grief or pain of past and future mistakes. There is a clear path to start addressing her mounting debts, creditors and medical issues with her parents. 

"Nice pyjamas." 

Eve whirls around at the unexpected compliment. Oksana is leaning against the doorway, smirking at her. The nightwear in question displays phrases in sign language. There is also a rough caricature of Eve standing beside the words, complete with wild hair. The set is threadbare now and not of the highest quality, to begin with, but Eve can't bear to part with them. 

"Boundaries, Oksana, Boundaries." Eve hisses feeling self-conscious in front of the glamorous dancer. 

Oksana rolls her eyes takes a theatrical step back through the door, not bothering to hide her appreciative glance. Eve scrambles to change into her outfit from yesterday. She isn't up to the standard of this wealthy family, but Eve doesn't feel the need to impress at this time in the morning. 

"They were a give from a former client who was building an Etsy store," she grumbles to Oksana, who hands her coffee.

"I didn't say anything." 

"Your visual assessment of the thread count did the talking for you. How is Irina this morning?" Eve asks, as they walk towards the central part of the house. 

"She is completely besotted with you and is pestering to know when the lessons will start, and loves the fact you are for her alone. Twin sibling rivalry and all that." Oksana reports dutifully. 

"The period of adoration will soon fade. Right now, I am a person to chat to and confide in, using a language she understands. I will soon become a tutor who makes her do boring, mundane things like homework and grammar tests." 

"Which will allow her to become hopelessly devoted to her teacher like millions of girls all over the world," Oksana disagrees with a broad smile. 

Eve has a feeling that one of the more challenging aspects of their time together will be distinguishing between Oksana's levels and stages of flirtatious banter. She wasn't going to engage along those lines, but it was still useful to know. Flirting was definitely this woman's language and contained a level of subtly. 

_"Come on we will be late for breakfast, Sky Dancer."_ Eve signs sharply 

***

"We need an opt-out clause, no questions asked. Oh shit, sorry." 

Eve skids to a halt in the doorway as if she has interrupted some sort of compromising scene. Her singular focus means she didn't consider that Oksana might be doing something specific. 

Oksana doesn't bother to move from her handstand in her small home studio. She looks fantastic in the skin-tight dance gear, but she isn't trying to flirt or entice her entire focus is maintaining the pose. There is a subtle sheen of sweat on bulging muscles. 

Eve Polastri didn't have the most normal life in terms of cultural expectations, moving all over the globe before settling in Michigan only to make her life back in Britain with a Polish husband. However, her parents did raise their children with manners and barging in on someone doesn't fit that mould. Spending time in this place is bringing back memories of protocols and etiquette. Part of her still feels like the working class second-generation immigrant who was one of the few 'Asian Kids' in her class. Nobody much cared about the complexities of how many passports she holds. 

She isn't the type of person who is about to marry this strange woman. 

"A whole 24 hours with us makes you want to bail?" Oksana asks cynically as she comes down. 

The term enigmatic is overused and is usually the realm of romance novels and the brooding hero. Eve finds these adjectives and adverbs annoying and insulting to Alan Turing. However, if anybody embodies the word, it would be the woman before her. The casualness in her tone doesn't match the sharp gaze. 

"Of course not. It will take more than a child having a temper tantrum to scare me away. There will be plenty more outbursts from both the children as they were to adjust to a new reality. I make an easy target.” 

"Great."

"I have no intention of bailing on you or the children. All I'm saying is that this situation, even the trial period, is going to place considerable psychological stress on us both. Carolyn is sorting out the financial matters, but I think it is healthy for us both to know that we can leave if it becomes too much."

"I'm always too much for people, haven't you read about my reputation yet, Eve? Foolish mistake."

"Reading about my reputation wouldn't be much better at the moment. I'm trying to save us both a mess of emotions. Whatever happens, this isn't going to be like that Sandra Bullock Movie."

"You mean we aren't going to have a sham marriage in an Alaskan barn, shocking. Are afraid of a little heartache?"

"I would add it to my ever-growing collection. I'm afraid that we will lose sight of the objectives."

“You pick the safe word and we can both bail scott free or whatever you Americans like to say on the matter.”

Eve knows she is being mocked but in many ways a safe word or words isn’t a terrible idea or any less terrible than this whole idea in the first place.


	4. New Thing I've Found

_I hold you in my arms_

_As the band plays_

_What are those words whispered baby_

_Just as you turn away_

_I saw you last night_

_Out on the edge of town_

_I want to read your mind_

_To know just what I've got in this new thing I've found_

_So tell me what I see_

_When I look in your eyes_

_Is that you baby_

_Or just a brilliant disguise_

_Bruce Springsteen- Brilliant Disguise_

Irina is an excellent student. 

Eve doesn't expect anything different from this child who adapted to her presence so quickly. Her outburst last week indicates many things but primarily that she wants somebody to pay attention to her and take the time to interact. This period of cooperation will not last; Eve was exaggerating when she told Oksana that she is a strict instructor. She will take full advantage of the 'novelty factor.' Their interactions will become more fraught once the school term starts, and the twins separate for large sections of the day. Despite Carolyn's reassurance, the arrangement is a fluid thing subject to change. 

" _You did a wonderful job, Irina. We are going to start skipping to the harder lessons at this rate. Your teachers at school will be impressed with how far you have progressed."_

Eve is careful to mention the planned integration back into school regularly. 

***

Oksana is a kinetic learner. 

Eve is not a teacher and doesn't claim to be anything close to the title. However, it doesn’t take expertise to notice that the dancer doesn't like sitting still. If having her hands in full view wasn't mandatory for their lessons, she would suggest they conduct the tutoring on a running track or something. 

_"I am changing your sign name to 'She Who Fidgets,"_ Eve emphasis the words with slow, deliberate moments. 

_"Do I get to rename you too?"_ Oksana bargains while still bouncing her leg. 

"How long can you stand on one leg?" 

Instead of answering Oksana rearranges her limbs into a version of the yoga “Tree Pose" with one leg folded against the other. Her balance is impressive, and Eve admires how she keeps her hands in motion the entire time. All her jokes about stamina and coordination are closer to the truth than a boast. 

"Try me." Oksana challenges with a smile.

"You can't sit still for more than ten seconds, perhaps being in this position will help you focus on the annoying things like grammar and syntax. I wasn't overstating your need to become genuinely fluent one day.” 

“I can communicate with Igor and Irina without any issues.”

“If course you can but don’t forget you will need to be her advocate at school and other environments. Your language skills need to evolve with Irina’s every situation.

“Do I get to challenge you too?” Oksana asks playfully

“Focus on the grammar and syntax first.”

***

"How are they progressing?" 

Konstantin makes the statement, and it could encompass any member of this unconventional household. He insists that Eve meets him at least twice a week to discuss his children's progress and her impressions of the situation in general. The man is using much of his remaining energy on his children's future. 

"Igor and Irina are lovely kids and decent students. We will work well together before term. Your daughter has reasonable comprehension given the gaps in her tutoring. I am working on supplementary lessons about communicating in the hospital and with the staff." Eve supplies evenly. 

"Thank you; they will need that option sooner or later. Igor seems to think he will translate for his sister for the rest of their lives, even though he resents the attention."

"We will give the children the best foundation possible starting now and right through to the end. Irina and Igor will find their way both as a unit and as individuals." Eve keeps her words confident and firm. 

"I never thought my children would carry British passports and take the tube as part of daily life. My uncles would turn in their graves at the notion. Russia has a long memory for insults, Eve, did you know that?"

"They will still have Oksana as a Russian influence." Eve offers hesitantly. 

"Oksana loathes Russia more than my other relatives put together. There will be no fond recollections there. It does not matter--survival is the key, and while I rot breathing manufactured British oxygen, my children will live better lives, isn't that something close to the immigrant dream?" 

"Something like that. My parents would agree with you if they were able anymore." Eve agrees with a sad smile. 

"I do not expect Oksana to develop parental feelings towards my children, merely to guard their interests. Our two countries were keen on these arrangements in the past; perhaps we are resurrecting the tradition, mmm?”

"From memory, Anglo-Russian political marriages were, on the whole, not overly happy." 

"There is nothing about 'happiness' in the fine print, Eve, merely mutually advantageous. From that point of view, such marriages were a great institution." Konstantin objects, trying to cover up the wheeze. 

"You and Carolyn truly do sing from the same hymn book, don't you?" 

"For a long time, that was the case, yes." Konstantin sounds almost wistfully.

Today is good for Konstantin but Eve can see he is fading fast, so she doesn't want to prolong the conversation. He is right. The measures of success for this particular venture will not lay with individual happiness but the collective good. Joy got her in trouble in the first place. 

The arrangement is a safer option. 

***

The state of her bank balance is definitely helping Eve immensely. 

Pride is a luxury Eve Polastri gave up somewhere between the first separation papers and realising she had approximately 150 pounds to her name. There was no comforting safety net of family and friends back in America. She is the true definition of an expatriate having lived and worked internationally for decades. Besides, her parents need support far more than they can offer it right now. 

Eve wants to rally and say that her current position and filial responsibilities aren't fair, but that wouldn't be true. Her parents are the reason she has a career and a life abroad. The least she can do is play the role of dutiful daughter, even if it means shopping in the budget row of the supermarket. 

Carolyn and the lawyers are optimistic she will be able to repay the debts speedily and start having access to her earnings again. The situation is scarily similar to being a broke uni student or a new grad with little to no discretionary income. At least now, the endless numbers of creditors from hotels to hairdressers aren't haunting her daily. The exact payments are in place, and for now, everyone seems happy with the arrangement. Of course, new debts could come out of the woodwork at any point. 

"What the hell is this?" 

Oksana picks up the budget dessert as if the box is toxic. They are shopping together for the week; Eve needs supplies for her parent's new apartment and nursing care. Buying for three people is an expensive exercise. 

"Chocolate ice cream," Eve says calmly without looking up from the list. 

"No this isn't anything close to ice cream, it is not coming into my house. Let me get a better brand." Oksana says quickly as if the concept goes without saying. 

"There is still coco and diary Oksana; not everyone has the luxury to go top brand. I'm swapping away my skills for a reason. " Eve insists while trying not to get defensive. 

"I'll talk to Konstantin about a food budget or something. Our hero tutor can't fade away eating cardboard." Oksana sounds genuinely upset. 

"Don't you dare. My shopping troll isn't a diary for you to read. I will survive on packet foods and noodles. A month of lunches with you doesn't wipe away decades of middle-class roots." 

"Fine." Oksana scowls, still clutching the tub. 

Domestic scenes like this aren’t a requirement of the new arrangement but such moves are practical. If any future marriage or union is going to convince the adoption panel there needs to be a sense of security and connection. Besides its entirely possible that Oksana ‘Sky Dancer’ hasn’t done her own shopping or errands in the past 10 years.

***

"I found Rachel." 

The triumphant look in Oksana's eyes is frightening and disconcerting. The vague notion of 'connections in the industry' keeps Eve up at night, not that she is sleeping anyway. 

"I told you not to pursue her any further, not on my account." 

"Well, in this case, you don't have a choice. We need to avoid any nasty surprises. Our plans are delicate and require careful manoeuvring without interruptions."

"Is Iris ok? Seeing her granddaughter again will be tough for her." 

"Undoubtedly but you will not be getting involved either way. You are a bleeding heart and likely to get pulled into the tragic story all over again. 

Eve feels strange talking about Rachel in front of Carolyn and Oksana. Unfortunately, privacy is a luxury that she doesn't have anymore. These two women know more about her private than can be healthy. In their way, both women are strangely protective of here. 

"Your former girlfriend has a line of creditors out the door. It wasn't difficult to track her reckless spending and obsession with escaping winter." Oksana explains calmly. 

Eve still feels a physical reaction to the name and supposes she always will. Their passionate relationship defines her post divorce landscape. The commonality of sign language and Eve's growing connection to the other woman's family makes what happens all the harder to bear and understand. Eve still has nightmares about their breakup and losing her connection to one of her favourite people, Iris, who was in failing health.

"We don't have to go through with the other part. I would be happy to stay involved without the paperwork." Eve offers hesitantly. 

"Is this going to be a regular thing? You freaking out?" Oksana asks raising a sceptical eyebrow. 

"The children are strong and resilient. You make a logical choice for guardianship. We can make convincing arguments once your sign language is up to standard." 

"Konstantin is paying off two ex-girlfriends and a former employee. My past is going to be a challenge at every point."

"Ok but you need to understand what being a grown-up looks like, you are going to sit through numerous meetings and boring admin stuff. There will be no hanging off the side of buildings or walking on your hands. I can barely stay awake, and my name is on every second page.” 

"I will keep myself entertained somehow. Lawyers can be fun if you needle them in the right way. Nobody knows what to do with an acrobat with a thick Russian accent.” 

***

"Wow, I didn't fall for your athletic abilities did I?"

Oksana likes to joke about their future interviews with social services about their relationship. Eve glowers at the younger woman from the other side of the improvised cricket pitch. She is speaking a modified version of Mandarin, but still, there are other people around. Irina and Igor are playing a game of their imagination, and twin speak. 

"I didn't run around with children even when I was a child, give me a pass as a nerdy academic. My parents' definition of sports was playing a fast round of Mahjong. 

_"Play with us Eve."_ Irina signs with broad sweeping gestures. 

Eve smiles at her enthusiasm, and willingly gets drawn into a game of tag. Oksana sits on the side lines, taking photos. There needs to be some evidence that she spends time with the children. 

They intend to take advantage of any times the children want to play freely, even as the weather changes and the garden threatens to resemble a swamp. There will be far too much time sitting around while adults have conversations and their dad gets weaker. Eve doesn’t have a natural ability with small humans but she understand the mechanics of playing while deaf and it’s a good exercise to get Irina practicing.

_“Who am I going to play Irina?”_ Eve asks with deliberate slowness.

‘ _”The magical wizard with all the power and scrolls to save the village.”_ Irina signs back without much hesitation.

“That’s definitely a good role for you, you already have the hair for the role of ‘wild sorcerer’ in the library.” Oksana declares with an impish grin.

Eve can forgive Oksana for the quip about her hair because she takes the time to sign the words to Irina. Her communication style is fast and full of short cuts but she does get the point across. Sometimes the ability to effective communicate means more than how the words look on the day.

“I can only dream of having all the answers but I’ll play the wizard.”

***

"Why didn't I hire somebody like you earlier?" 

Eve and Carolyn exchange glances but continue to drink their tea without commenting. As is his habit, Konstantin is watching the children frolic in the garden with Oksana. The old fashioned description feels suitable for the sight on display. It isn't straightforward to tell which who is having more fun the twins or Oksana. From what Eve can make out they are re-enacting a play where naturally the main hero is deaf. 

“There is still plenty of time for Irina to catch up, its not like she has lacked for stimulation and connection. Few deaf children or even children of eight can claim to have visited all the continents with wonderful dancers.” Eve tries to keep her tone light and hopeful.

“Time is the one thing than all my money and influence cannot buy, at least according to the 27 specialists.”

Eve sinks down beside the chair clasping Konstantin’s hand trying to offer silent comfort. Words have little power in these moments when it comes to parents and their children. Eve wants her own parents to find similar support systems once the nursing staff is in place. She doesn’t know this man but she knows the pain of watching life slip away without any easy solutions.

"We are making progress, Konstantin, don't put pressure of past regrets on the present." Carolyn tries firmly absently adjusting the drip and tubes. Carolyn sounds calm and in control but Eve can see the tears at the corner of her eyes. The older woman is not the crafty politician at the moment.

"Did you get that from a fortune cookie, Carolyn, you know better than anyone my mistakes will haunt me to the grave. It is my burden to bear." Konstantin sounds resigned. 

"Don't be so maudlin and fit for a Russian epic; it doesn't suit you." 

Eve slips away to give them a sense of privacy. These moments are few and far between; their conversations will keep for another day. Eve has lesson plans to write. Nobody can predict the exact course of the neuromuscular disease, rumours are rampant that Russia had a hand in his illness. Eve relishes the feeling of being useful once again and not feeling the press of guilt with every morning.

***

"We need to start creating a paper trail."

"You do realise I am not a member of your government team of minions, don't you?" Eve asks cautiously while looking at her former boss, sceptically. 

"Don't be absurd Eve, Britain has strict labour laws; I don't have minions of any sort. I recall attempting to put you on my permanent payroll numerous times over the years. Your work in Seoul was exemplary, even under trying circumstances."

"What do you mean by paper trail in this context, Agent 99," Eve asks, not wanting to derail this conversation any further. 

"I am pleased that your recent circumstances haven't stolen your wit entirely, Maxwell." Carolyn returns the pop culture reference. 

"We aren't going to lie about the practicalities of your relationship. The fact you can work as an interpreter will be invaluable to Irina and the new family unit. That doesn't mean that we can avoid making and faking memories of the two of you together. Stability is the key to our plan."

"What do your relationships look like when not arranged by a maverick champion dancer and a powerful politician?" Eve asks casually. 

Oksana takes to the idea of 'creating a paper trail' with more caution than Eve would expect from the flirtatious stranger. She half expects the younger woman to produce a 'seduction' kit that many a woman has fallen for over the years. After all, there is a reason Oksana's merits as a potential guardian aren't sufficient to ensure the legality. 

"I don't date Eve, that requires talking and sharing. The only 'sharing' I do is exploring different physical positions and the lesbian Kama Sutra as if gravity wasn't a deciding factor." Oksana explains patiently.

On the scale of Oksana's typical interactions, the words are something close to tactful and respecting personal boundaries. Eve still firmly believes they can get through this arrangement without delving into aspects of their own lives. Emotional entanglements don't suit either personalities or life circumstances. Eve isn't going to risk losing perspective again, especially with a much younger dancer who has a girl in every major centre of modern dance. 

"Be that as it may we need to make a good face effort at showing compatibility and like we aren't participating in a blatant economic transaction." 

"Isn't that exactly what we are doing?" Oksana points out casually

"The government doesn't need to know that until the children are settling into the new routine and you have a grip on the special need parenting thing. I've never liked that term 'special needs,' all these kids need is a normal childhood with people willing to learn how to work with them.”

"Food. We will have more meals together, and I will develop your palate until you can no longer stand the taste of your budget ice cream." Oksana declares, her eyes are gleaming with anticipation. 

"That sounds equal parts frightening and exhausting." 

"Whatever happens, you will have your trail." 


	5. Edge of Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Premiere Countdown Time!

_Tell me, in a world without pity_

_Do you think what I'm askin's too much_

_I just want something to hold on to_

_And a little of that Human Touch_

_Just a little of that Human Touch_

_Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize_

_Well it comes at a hard hard price_

_You can't shut off the risk and the pain_

_Without losin' the love that remains_

_We're all riders on this train_

_So you've been broken and you've been hurt_

_Show me somebody who ain't_

_Yeah, I know I ain't nobody's bargain_

_But, hell, a little touchup_

_and a little paint_

_You might need somethin' to hold on to_

_When all the answers, they don't amount to much_

_Somebody that you could just to talk to_

_And a little of that Human Touch_

Bruce Springsteen, Human Touch. 

"I don't understand you."

Eve struggles not to let the effect of those words show on her face. She has heard variations of that phrase in multiple languages throughout her life. Blaming the immigrant-culture divide is too simplistic, her parents did their best with the knowledge they had, while teachers, friends, relationship all express similar bemusement. There is something about Eve that confuses and confounds expectations. However, nobody's judgement is as painful as parents. She may be making all these sacrifices mainly for the family, but that doesn't mean they understand who their daughter is now and her chaotic personal. 

"I know that, Mom, but I'm doing the best I can for you and Dad."

Medicine is advancing at such a rate that ageing does not always mean getting frail; people can live well or poorly at any age. Her parents are experiencing the worst kind of getting older, the type that is frightening and disorienting. Her mother is losing physical capacity, and her father is starting to lose his memory. For two fiercely proud and independent people, the new landscape and reality are daunting. As their only daughter and the family member living closest, Eve takes on the majority of the supervision—a difficult task when she was moving between courts, police statements and credit hearings. Things were much stable now, thanks mainly to Carolyn's intervention and spare flat. 

"What are we doing here, Sweetheart?" Her Dad's typically confident and precise voice quavered on the nickname. 

"This is a place for you and Mom to stay, and we will come and visit you every few days. There are a Mahjong club and a croquet green. There are several residents from Grandma's hometown." Eve explains softly, trying to keep the lightness in her tone. 

The new 'semi-independent unit' came up sooner than anyone was hoping for and Eve was there early in the morning to help her parents settle in. The staff were competent and respectful, enough staff Koren to make both her parents feel comfortable. Her new role (and that generous paycheck) makes a move possible, even if she will be on a budget for the rest of her life. 

"Will Niko come and visit?" 

"I don't know guys, maybe."

The sad thing is despite the difficulty of their divorce and his hurt of the Rachel situation; her ex-husband will visit her parents in a heartbeat. 

***

"How was the consultation? Are you parents settling in, ok?”

Carolyn Martens allows Eve the dignity of ignoring the visible evidence that Eve spent the last hour crying. The older woman is meddling in her private life and constructing a fake marriage, but there are limits to such things. Carolyn values merits and competency above all else, helping Eve avoid self-destruction is a step in her master plan. Eve is pretty sure an emotionally intuitive Carolyn would freak her out even more. The cliche about British reserve is useful in circumstances like this, rehashing the experience will serve no purpose. 

"They can't understand why their muddling-along system isn't working any more, but the place suits them well enough. Thank you for helping to arrange the placement. The game club will be a real hit while they can still appreciate it." Eve says, trying to keep her voice steady. 

"I'm glad to hear that, it’s one less thing for you to worry about in the early hours. We will need your full attention here I'm afraid, Oksana is finishing her transferring paperwork next week and of course the visit today." Carolyn smiles genuinely as they walk to collect the children. 

"Before we go in, tell me the latest with Rachel. Is there likely to be more legal trouble in my name? She hasn't tried to contact me, and Iris is vague in her notes." Eve asks softly. 

"Surprisingly, your ex-girlfriend handed herself into the Athenian authorities and confessed to everything with stacks of evidence. I can only surmise that she got in trouble with people that a far more frightening and wants the comparative luxury of prisoner rights. If its any solace there are at least two other heartbroken ex-girlfriends in her wake."

"Not remotely."

"Then judge the knowledge as being useful instead." 

***

_"Why are you sad, Eve?"_

Eve blinks at the unexpected question. They were in the middle of an intake assignment on fractions and basic maths. Irina is making steady progress with her British Sign Language and general education. The school term will reveal any significant weak spots, but Eve is quietly confident that this part of the plan is working. Igor is enjoying the lessons as well and seems to feel less pressure/resentment at being his sister's chief interpreter. Hopefully, the twin's relationship will regain some balance once they enter the school environment. Irina is going to meet her teachers later in the day. 

_"My parents are not well either, and sometimes that's hard for me."_ Eve signs honestly. 

Eve decides on an honesty policy with her two charges wherever possible. There will be enough lies in the coming weeks without adding to them. Besides she doesn't have the knack for faking cheerfulness and optimistic. The one thing Niko and Rachel have in common is the tendency to apologise for her and her lack of abilities in social situations. Children have the right to the truth and are more perceptive then people give them credit for, it’s a good sign that Irina is taking notice of another person's emotions in such away. 

_"Are they sick like my Daddy, is that why you came to help us?"_ Irina signs with a solemn expression on her face. 

_"Not in the same way but they need lots of help now, like your Dad. When Carolyn needed an interpreter, it was the perfect job. I love working with you and Igor."_ Eve puts particular emphasis on the sign for the brother and sister. 

_"You're funny and know how to play a wizard."_ Irina declares as if that is the deciding factor on the mater. 

_"Well, let's get ready to meet your new teachers then."_

Irina falls into a comfortable silence as she turns back to the questions on the form. Mainly they are just answering questions about her favourite activities and hobbies so the school can introduce her in the coming weeks. Irina is still shy about signing in front of other people so they will practice a mini-bio for her to sign for the classmates. One girl is an old friend from holiday, so that is a start. 

***

"I need your help."

Oksana comes bounding into Eve's temporary room carrying more outfits than Eve owns and dumps them unceremoniously on the bed. She looks like some fey woodland creature in her Robin Hood workout tights and a rock teeshirt. Her tendency to bound on the couch and randomly strike up yoga poses does not help Eve's impression. The woman hums with more energy than Eve can summon on her best day. The differences in their personality are going to take some getting used to, even for a fake marriage. 

"What do I wear to this teacher thing?" Oksana specified, gesturing at her piles of fabric. 

"Surely you own grown-up clothes that aren't costumes for the circus, pick anything. They are assessing Irina, not us." 

"My goal when meeting any teachers in the past is seducing them, and I have the wardrobe for that, not an actual meeting, Eve." Oksana says it calmly and seems like she is trying to shock her companion into responding. 

"Well, please avoid doing that. I know this woman, she is happily married to a man and will not take kindly to your particular brand of charm. We will be seeing her regularly, and your usual cut and run approach won't help the situation." Eve lectures sternly. 

"Hence why I need your help to select an appropriately tasteless outfit." Oksana agrees with patronising slowness. 

Eve has little to no idea about fashion, but the process of elimination is quite easy. Professionally dancing and partying are Oksana's primary occupations, so the majority of her outfits don't suit the occasion. There is a set of dress pants and a burgundy shirt that will sit well with her colouring and long hair. Fortunately, there aren't any wild streaks or styles in her hair. Eve almost absently reaches and sprays a light hint of her generic tropical perfume. The scene feels strangely intimate and disconcerting, but Oksana stays remarkably still for the occasion. 

***

"We expect it will take a while for Irina to adjust and will make allowances with her first gradings."

"There is nothing wrong with Rini's brain; don't call her stupid." Oksana snaps back, defensive, all but bouncing in her seat. 

"That's not what I'm saying at all, Miss Astankova, but all children need time to acclimatise to new environments, especially a different education system." The teacher replies calmly without taking any offence at the situation. 

The teachers at the school are used to all family structures and do not bat an eye at signing Konstantin, Eve, Oksana and the twins. The children are playing outside while the adults discuss Irina's introduction into the classroom. Eve wouldn't mind shadowing Irina for a day to get the immersive experience. There is an excellent staff to student ratio, and the use of technology to assist Deaf education is advantageous. Eve's role is to explain her observations of her student's needs and fluency while keeping an eye on Oksana. It's unlikely that the dancer will make a move on the 70-years-old Maggie Smith look alike, but she could never tell. 

"I'll continue working with Irina to fill in the gaps in her general knowledge. Thank you for providing me with last years core assignments, they will be most helpful." Eve interjects smoothly. 

"You are welcome, Eve. I was surprised to see your name on the file. Weren't you busy being a rockstar at the UN or something? I didn't think teaching was your style, not that it isn't lovely to see you of course."

"Plans change and Irina's needs fit well with my current schedule. She's a great student; you'll like teaching her." 

Eve doesn't regret leaving Niko or the decision to 'come out' per se, but it was far more manageable when her life was conventional, and she didn't have to think of convincing lies. The truth is she isn't a natural teacher and is only lucky that the twins respond so well. As the work becomes more public, Eve will need to get used to more casual curiosity about her life choices. Nobody needs to know the whole truth (only the overpriced therapists have that privilege), but she will need to start engaging with the human race as a whole again. The financial security is worth any uncomfortable moments or memories. 

***

"I think we are going to need to accelerate the second part of our plan."

Konstantin’s quiet proclamation shakes Eve from her pleasant reverie. They have stopped at the cafe to give the twins their promised cake as a reward. Irina proudly orders for herself and interacts with cashier with confidence. Gesturing effectively in a world that doesn't have natural sign language is a useful life skill. Oksana is obliging the twins by playing with them on the playground across the street. So far, she has resisted the temptation to do anything dramatic and swing off the slide or something. 

"What do you mean?" Eve asks quietly, not wanting to rush the situation but knowing he appreciates directness. 

"All my remaining energy is going into securing a future for Irina and Igor. There is nothing I want more than to come to appointments for as long as I can. If there is one thing, a dancer knows its when their bodies are failing. The children need to start seeing Oksana as a steady presence in their lives. I need to start fading before the end. I can't do too many of these trips anymore." Konstintian explains softly. "And I would like to escort her down the aisle without a nursemaid at my side. The sob story will lend more credibility." 

"We are doing the big formal thing?" Eve squeaks out, trying and failing to imagine such a scene.

"Credibility, Eve." Konstantin repeats. "Besides, the artistic set would be heartbroken if we didn't throw one big last party. 

Eve can see the logic but knows that to make this thing halfway real, she will need to convince at least some members of her family. It's impossible to know how they would react to either the truth or the lie. Everyone may struggle with her sexuality and the resulting drama, but they are unlikely to take the news of a fake relationship any better. The fact her second cousin is a mail order bride is still a source of much speculation and scandal. 

***

"So what would my grade be?"

Eve looks up from the lesson plan she is building in collaboration with Irina's new teachers. Luckily the new sheets are complementary to what Eve is already working on. The only difference is that the school is covering most of the topics in the traditional curriculum and they are coming up to exam time. Irina will be tired from such long days. There will need to be a balance with leisure activities. The twins were doted on when they travelled with Konstantin's dance troop. The real world is more mundane. 

"For playing the role of a functional and responsible adult, I couldn't tell. Mrs McGonagall was harder to read than other women, normally its easier to read the room." Oksana elaborates, gesturing wildly to prove her point. 

"You mean she acted entirely professionally and didn't succumb to your questionable charms, shocking. You did fine Oksana but don't assume that everybody is questioning or insulting Irina. The more they know about her abilities, the more prepared they can be to help." Eve replies calmly. 

"Fine, but you are going to all the annoying student-teacher things in the future. Come have dinner with me." Oksana makes this more of a statement than a question. 

For a pair of total strangers, it's comparatively easy to create a paper trail of their evolving interactions. Oksana _tries_ to be respectful of her tight budget but still drags Eve for food at semi-regular intervals. The dancer takes more selfies and other shots in one meal than Eve has on her entire Instagram. It won't take long for her family, mainly her estranged brother, to recognise the tagging that is going on. There will be plenty of commentaries when that comes to light. The whole point of this interplay is to make things as realistic as possible. If her family is anything, they provide elements of realism. 

***

"For a reckless heartbreaker, with little regard for human emotion, your Oksana certainly seems entranced with Eve. There are worse foundations to start an entirely fake marriage of economic convenience." 

Carolyn makes the observations as she fusses around Konstantin’s room, arranging the supplies and equipment. Konstantin looks and feels better now that he is back in bed and on supplementary oxygen. The nurses and support staff are happy with his general health. It makes Carolyn profoundly sad to think of this vibrant man losing his life in such a way. Her family was horrified with her choice in lovers (an actual circus performer), but he was far more than that. 

"It takes a great deal to attract her attention in any meaningful way, but once she has a focus, it is difficult to shift. For all her brash arrogance, I never needed to force her to practice. At least she may be slightly calmer when trailing after your interpreter. You'll still need to keep an eye on her though, I am taking a gamble with her, and it may not pay off." Konstintian whispers hoarsely. 

"We'll have plenty of time to iron out the finer points. If there is one thing we can count on, the girl is devoted to you and besotted with Irina." Carolyn counters swiftly. 

"We have less time than a Prima Ballerina at the top at the Bolshoi. I'm dying, Carolyn, sooner rather than later. No amount of bribery or corruption can stop that fact. Don't be sentimental on me now."

"What do you need me to do, aside from watching over the Brides-to-Be?" Carolyn asks without conceding the first point. 

"Ensure that all the legal structures are in place. The potential guardianship of my children is going to create more questions about my assets. You have a knack for making everything appear legal, do that with my money and find a contingency in case our little plan goes awry.”

Carolyn stays at his bedside long after Konstantin falls asleep. It would be far too emotive and uncharacteristic to call him a 'great love' any more than she was a natural mother to Kenny. She does prize accuracy above all else. It's a shame that his legacy is in the hands of a bankrupted interpreter and a maverick with arson tendencies. Carolyn is a politician who can maneuver people around life's chessboard, but this could be a profound challenge. 


	6. Who I See

I saw something tucked in shame  
Underneath your pillow  
Well I've tried so hard baby  
But I just can't see  
What a woman like you  
Is doing with me  
So tell me who I see  
When I look in your eyes  
Is that you baby  
Or just a brilliant disguise

"Are you are about this Oksana? Guardianship of children does not seem like a natural fit of you."

The words are tactful and gentle, possibly on account of this woman being a friend of Carolyn and not the agency proper. The process isn't going to be as daunting as Konstantin was fearing, but it will not be a simple process to sign over rights to his children. The placement of special needs children is difficult for the protective services and seeing a system that is already in place with sign language, and financial resources is a start. Eve is confident that nobody will challenge the initial placement outright, the odds are against adoption in general much less with all the complicating factors. The complication will be convincing people that Oksana can be in this commitment for the long haul. Security is the holy grail of adoption and guardianship placements. 

"For the twentieth time, yes. My friend is dying, and I will take responsibility for the children and keep them alive for the next 15 years or, longer if they prove as weak and soft as most British children." Oksana explains in a slow patronising voice. 

"We aren't discussing a new job Oksana; you can't simply rattle off a job description like that The Care and Feeding Of My Best Friend's Children. You need to put more adjectives and emotion into these conversations.”

"Between the two of us, we speak half a dozen languages, give me a list and I will repeat them." Oksana offers, looking fed up with the line of question. 

The lawyer looks like she isn't getting paid nearly enough to moderate this circus, but Carolyn Martens inspires loyalty if not outright respect. Only that woman could walk down the corridors of power and remain in close contact with the wrong side of the Iron Curtin. If anybody can keep this elaborate work, it would be Eve's former boss. A BSL translator does not have a wide variety of transferable skills. It was either making this situation work or finding multiple low-level jobs that won't cover the nursing home dees. 

"There is no reason to get snarky and condescending. For once in your life concede the fact that there are people in the world who know more than you do, Oksana. We are going to need help to pull this arrangement off. Your lone wolf routine isn't going to get you through this; my life is on the line too." Eve hisses back but manages to keep her tone relatively calm. 

Oksana looks like she has plenty of responses in store, but she settles for glowering and waving her hands theatrically. Eve seems to have that effect on her; it is somewhere between an annoying authoritative bent and a charming personality quirk. Many, many women can capture Oksana's attention, and she does not limit herself to a particular type. Life is dull enough as it is without putting restrictions on such things. The trick that the only handful of woman manage is to keep attention beyond the first day or two, there is no logical explanation for such things. 

***

"Are you aware that the presence of children will severely limit your extracurricular activities?"

"You are referring to the women, aren't you, my many women, right?" Oksana asks without a trace of embarrassment. 

"Up until this point your life hasn't had any permanence to it, has it?" Wendy asks without looking up from her notes. 

"Unless you count my relationship with a vintage Burberry Coat." Oksana agrees.

One of the things that Eve both admires and finds challenging about her future fake wife is that she has no desire to blend in to make herself more socially acceptable. Oksana knows what she wants from life and isn't afraid to burn any bridges on the way down. Some would scorn at this attitude and inability to function with the majority of the human race. Eve sees some value in this approach, both her and Niko were chronic (if unsuccessful) people pleasers and such a temperament didn't save either their friendship or marriage. Rachel is an expert at blending into her environment to get what she wants from the world. If Oksana Astankova can claim anything it's not giving a damn what other people think about her. 

"You will need to make considerable adjustments before the inspections occur. Witty banter has its place, but it's not what the social workers are looking for."

Eve can do the heavy lifting to a degree. She knows what social workers are looking when it comes to designing a home for deaf children and their siblings. Irina will need help adjusting to life both in Britain and new unique education service. Lending her assistance in this way doesn't feel like deception, especially when Irina and Igor are thriving with such attention to detail and balancing out their relationship as siblings. However, the one thing Eve cannot control Oksana's ability to be genuine. 

"I have the closest thing to a 9-5 schedule that a professional dancer can have and Eve has me learning a truly annoying amount of sign language grammar and syntax. I am going to keep these children out of foster care."

There are deep passion and conviction in her tone and Eve firmly believes that Oksana will go to extreme length so that the Vasiliev twins don't end up repeating her childhood. There is every possibility that she could flee with the children and slip across the border before any decisions are final. Eve sincerely hopes that such extreme measures don't come into play. Konstantin deserves a peaceful afterlife in whatever form that takes, the children don't need to be on the run for the rest of their lives. 

"I believe you, Oksana, but guardianship is a long and invasive process, and you need to expect them to question you, My approaches are gentle in comparison."

***

"What is your opinion about Oksana Astankova's ability and willingness to look after the children?"

Ever since she was a child Eve loathes direct questioning of a personal nature. The grandmothers on both sides of the family were expert interrogators and had opinions on everything. The topics could range from her choices of clothing to career. One of the reasons she enjoys interpreting so much is that she can fade into the background and doesn't need to come up with acceptable answers. Life is more comfortable if you are speaking some else's words all the time. Irina and Igor provide an endless stream of entertainment and engagement. However, Bankruptcy and the courts tend to force people to answer all kinds of questions, no matter how personal. Privacy and dignity are concepts of the past before she realised that Rachel is using her for fun and money. 

Oksana is helping the twins do a science project in the front yard, and nobody is pretending that Eve and Wendy aren't watching the interaction with keen interest. Wendy isn't here in any official capacity, but she will be advising them on the guardianship process. It pleases Eve that Oksana's signing is getting a lot better and fluid; she is even adopting some of Irina's personal mannerisms. Igor doesn't feel the need to act as an interface anymore and is focusing on making the classic baking soda volcano with Mentos. 

"I think it is an unusual setup, but there are no ideal circumstances to rely on at this stage. Oksana is far from perfect, but she is willing to take this on and is studying BSL and adjusting her dance schedule. It's by far the best option with kids who will have very few, especially with Konstantin against religious adoption." Eve points out while watching the scene outside. 

"She won't get bored and move on to the next shiny thing or woman?" Wendy asks cynically. 

"If she does the twins won't suffer for the decision, there are safety nets in place for both their financial and physical wellbeing." Eve gestures to the stack of piles on the table. 

"How are you coping taking on such an unusual interpreting position and teaching Miss Astankova?" Wendy asks curiously.

"Well my circumstances are far from an idea, so joining the circus is a small price to pay. Irina genuinely is at the centre of all decision making here." 

"Join the club. Carolyn Martens seems to enjoy collecting strays to mould to her purposes. My licence was on the line, and she needed contract negotiations, the occasional unusual request is par for the course." Wendy agrees as she softens from her professional demeanour. 

"All the better to inspire loyalty and engagement in the strays and eccentrics. It's a good thing Carolyn doesn't have any ambitions to take over the world as I doubt many people will stand in her way. She has the distinct The Manchurian Candidate vibe." Eve quips with a shrug.

***

"Why are all these people here?"

"They are testing me, kid, how well I manage you and your brother. Look bonnie and healthy, ok?" Oksana signs back while glancing at the window. It feels like she is back in the orphanage with their judgement. 

"I don't know what that means," Irina confesses, but she smiles kindly. 

Oksana rolls her eyes, the kid wouldn't win any prizes for acting, but she was strangely appealing. She turns her attention to the volcano on the lawn. The cleaning staff will loathe the extra cleaning work, but it is worthwhile seeing the children smile. Oksana spends enough time doing high tech shows and stage management to pick up a trick or two. The dull paper and cardboard experiment is now shooting extra tall and shooting a variety of striking colours. They will be playing with sparklers next, which will enable writing in the air, which will almost be educational. Igor wants to learn gymnastics too, he has none of his father’s natural talent, but he could do a passible summersault. Luckily he doesn't expect her to lie to him and clap every time he manages to stay on his feet. He is a decent kind and doesn't whine too much. 

"Let's have a competition and see who can make the best colours. The winner gets four scoops of ice cream and to choose the movie for the night." These children need a sense of edge and ambition; they are too docile and cling to each other like newborn kittens. 

"Igor is better than me at science. There is no way I can win." Irina somehow manages to whine in sign language. 

"Well learn to cheat then, don't whine about things," Oksana instructs firmly, shoving the girl lightly in the shoulder. 

The children scramble around mixing colours and glitter. The props are leftover from Oksana’s latest production and far too expensive for kids to play with, but she uses them anyway. The results will be ugly and brown or black, but Irina is laughing, and Igor is concentrating. The lawyer and Eve are looking at them, and both are smiling. Oksana feels her heart skip a beat at the approval. Oksana resolves to sneak the twins as much ice cream as they can stomach. 

***

"That could have gone worse, but please try to hide your disdain for children in general," Eve advises with a weary smile. 

"I have disdain for most human children that aren't special or anything, Eve." 

"Still try to see the redeeming features in them, imagine them as little dancers in the Nutcrackers if you must, even if that is a boring dance," Eve suggests. 

Oksana is carefully doing her makeup in the mirror, pulling glitter and colour bits from her hair. Her play with the twins was messy, but both of them are tired and quietly reading with Konstantin and will likely have an afternoon nap. They are still adjusting to the everyday reality of having a regular schedule and timezone. The most critical hour in their day is spending time with their father and each other. 

"I will do my best." Oksana parrots dutifully. 

Eve supposes this is something of a victory but knows there will not be a natural fit for Oksana, nothing but a nomadic life with wild seduction with a woman on each continent. However, she is adaptable and will make this arrangement work. Many people in the world aren't natural parent figures who do an excellent job of keeping their charges well. Strangely, the pressure of this situation feels better than her endless worry about money, memories and her mother. At least Irina is improving every day. 

"Well, I think if this afternoon proves anything, it's why this little 'Boston Marriage is a vital part of the plan."

"You should have the most faith in my ability to hold a long con, Carolyn, after all, it was you who got me out of most of them," Oksana says sardonically. 

"Not even you can keep up a front for the next ten to fifteen years. The children need a firm foundation that does not rely on your ability to sound like the future mother of the year. I cannot interfere directly in the case if their decision making. Carolyn replies sharply. 

Eve feels a certain level of pressure that she the steadying force on this occasion. To be fair, most people will be a calmer presence than Oksana, but that doesn't mean the title sits well with her. There are elements that she can do well, especially when it comes to changing the outcome for Irina and Igor. However, the length of this commitment is a daunting prospect. She fell into a long term relationship with Niko almost by accident; they were in a routine before Eve can make a protest. Then the notion of a conventional marriage makes her parents so happy she can barely protest. 

***

"Will you marry me, Darling Eve?" 

"Get down and stop being so absolutely ridiculous." 

At that moment, Oksana embodies everything that Wendy and they are worried about in pulling off this life plan. She is swinging from the ceiling in her silks; she is fearlessly turning performing an imaginary routine before asking the question while hanging upside down. Her long hair braid dangles outside Eve's reach where she is firmly on the ground. They were due to have a civil conversation about the legal paperwork, but apparently, Oksana can't stand to be in motion and to defy gravity a moment longer. A whole afternoon of acting like a responsible adult is her limit, as evidenced by the ridiculous question. Eve feels anger flush her checks. Oksana is uniquely talented at getting under her skin and defences; nobody else can provide such fierce rage. 

"Surely, you must know that this is where everything is leading. Konstantin doesn't let lawyers and alike around our home if he can avoid it. Former oligarchs aren't that popular here, you know. Carolyn is the exception to that rule. He never got over the heartbreak, no matter how many strippers, old ones at that, I brought him." Oksana continues breezily as she swings. 

"Get down here and sign the papers. We don't have time for your games or talking about a dying man's sex life." Eve hisses, resisting the urge to yank on the blood-red material holding Oksana in the air. 

"So you will marry me, and we are heading to the nearest courthouse to get the process under underway," Oksana asks eagerly as she clambers down her hands sliding down the material with a speed that makes Eve wince. 

"You are not asking me anything. We are deciding for entirely different reasons. There is no need to throw such terms around." 

***

Eve is far from a natural runner, but she manages to flee the house and bolt to the nearest park. Fortunately, the space is relatively empty at this time of night, and most people insist on ignoring her anyway. Eve likes such social apathy in her adopted/birth land. The air is crisp and fresh; space does wonders to cool her raging temper, it's not strictly Oksana's fault that she is reacting this fiercely, not that the younger woman will even care at this point. It's far more likely that Oksana is laughing her way through the latest dance routines. It's up to Eve to get her emotions under control before entering the house free from drama. The children don't deserve any more upset today. There aren't that many people who can comfort her or offer advice on current life predicaments. 

Technically speaking all three times she was proposed to were jokes in one form or another. The conservative relatives in Korea would doubtless have something to say about, for some reason seeing Oksana laughing in the gym, looking like a spider monkey or something brought everything back. An arrangement shouldn't have the power to hurt this much, and it spoke badly for her long term sanity that her heart was already in pieces. Perhaps there is still time to find a willing gay or bisexual interpreter willing to take the job, but that would be cruel or unusual for people she generally likes as a group. 

Proposal One: Niko Polastri is feeling sentimental after a long term trying to get through grad school on their merger salaries while they both work towards careers that will barely cover the student debt. They are both drunk on cheap wine and the joy of not facing deadlines for a while. Niko surprises Eve with his grandmother's ring and rambles about a life of Bridge Club, Stews and teaching. He is laughing hysterically can barely balance on his knees much less get the words out. Eve says yes (and means it) but mainly she doesn't want either of them to face injury or noise complaints. 

Proposal Two: Rachel and Eve are travelling around a more conservative part of Eastern Europe, and they joke about getting married to appease local sentiments. The artist in Rachel enjoys the idea and doodles an image of their hypothetical wedding on the napkin. Eve still has that stupid token somewhere and can't bring herself to throw it away. A small part of her was almost willing to find the nearest ancient chapel and willing priest. It's only faint relief that she isn't legally bound to a convicted felon in any more ways, the memory still hurts. 

Maybe Oksana's mockery is simply following a trend.


	7. Maybe Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arranging The Arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is staying safe. Happy Killing Eve Day.

The bones get broken

And the skin gets torn

And the scars, they bleed

Like the day they were born

When the mouth gets wise

To the haunt's disguise

Here comes the pain

Here comes the pain

Well, the dreams get lost

In the clouds of sorrow

And the hopelessness

Is hard to swallow

Beyond repair

What the soul can bear

"Stop fidgeting like a junior dancer new to pointe shoes and tell me what's wrong." 

Oksana glowers at Konstantin, but the gesture is more out of habit than any genuine malice. There is a reason she is pacing the small length of his room, but she can’t muster up the words to describe her experiences. The truth is his metaphor isn't so far off, Oksana does feel all off balance and struggling to find solid ground. Eve's abrupt departure from the gym makes no sense; she wasn't even trying to provoke a reaction. She usually is actively _trying_ to manipulate women into fits of erratic behaviour. It’s almost as fun as the seduction. 

"Why is Eve so sensitive, us marrying is the whole point of all these boring lessons and lectures." Oksana huffs before slipping into curse words. 

"The true question is, why do you care so much?" 

"I don't care, it irritates me not to understand things," Oksana argues before chewing angrily on a stick of liquorice. 

"Of course you do. Nobody obsesses over somebody they don't care about, the former lovers who threaten to sue you and break bones don't even rate a mention even though we are paying them off. Whatever label you want to put on it, you want Eve's attention." Konstantin replies. 

"Well, that doesn't solve my current problem, does it? Tell me what to do?" Oksana whines like Igor wanting dessert. 

"That's the problem, Oksana. There is nothing to do in this circumstance. You played with somebody's emotions like a fiddler on the roof. Now you have to deal with the consequences when the person in question dares to have these emotions in the first place. Remember " _A word is not a sparrow._ " he says the proverb in Russian. 

"You are dying Konstantin, but you aren't a wise monk writing on scrolls. There is no need to start spouting sob stories and animal metaphors." Oksana grumbles without much patience. 

"That doesn't mean my words are valueless. Let Eve be mad at you for a while." 

"It would be so much easier if I could just buy her pretty jewellery and watch her swoon," Oksana mutters almost angrily. 

***

Eve gives up on trying to look professional and works towards presentable instead. 

A good cry in the middle of the park away from anybody does wonder for her soul. The reality of her life is that she doesn't have much to indulge in her feelings. Rebuilding your life and finances your 40s is a time-consuming exercise. Her stoic grandparents will be proud of her resolve and reserve. Eve takes extra time in front of the mirror to tame her hair into a clip and wash her face. The Vasiliev household will notice the tears, but they are likely to be gracious enough not to say anything out loud. Eve can't be selective with the mercies she is receiving these days. 

"Focus on a paycheck to the court date and nothing else. You can afford an existential crisis when your money is your own again. Mum and Dad need special Kimchi and the Mahjong Club. A wild child egomaniac is your ticket. " Eve glares at herself in the mirror. 

"Eve, are you ok?" 

Eve whirls around started at the quiet voice that disrupts her inner pep talk. Igor is peering at her from behind the door, his hair is still a mess from sleep, and he is still wearing his superhero night shirt. Irina's brother likes to 'spy' on people and observe quietly before making any comments. Eve doesn't have to a lot to do with the older twin, but she likes to watch how much he loves Irina. There is a heavy burden on his thin shoulders, and Eve does feel a sense of kinship as somebody who always has sick parents. 

"I'm doing ok, buddy. I didn't sleep well last night and it’s catching up with me. That was an impressive volcano you made yesterday. I'll teach you how to sign the experiments so we can talk to Irina's school on family day." Eve tries to change the topic. 

"Are you crying?" Igor asks gazing at her with his brow creasing in worry. 

"I was for a little while, but I am feeling better now. There is nothing wrong with shedding a few tears when you are sad, just like your therapist was talking about, there is nothing a good breakfast won't fix." Eve absently signs the words, and he follows the movements. 

_"_ Ok, then. Hurry up; you don't want to miss the pancakes and bacon." Igor pulls her along eagerly. 

Eve laughs and lets herself follow the young boy who is chattering about wrestling and sandwiches. 

"I don't want to talk about it again, everything is fine, we will proceed with the plan."

Fortunately enough Igor decides that having food with the two them will be boring and goes to find his sister. Eve proclaims the words as she comes into the dining room, pausing to pick up some toast and juice. The other occupant in the room stares at her blankly her mouth full of cereal. Eve has a strange image of a chipmunk storing food for winter. Oksana still looks messy from sleep, and it pleases Eve that the younger woman doesn't roll out of bed looking amazing in principle. Maybe she is spending too much time here and Eve is picking up some of her mannerisms and tendencies towards pettiness. 

"Are you..." 

"Look, anybody who agrees to a straight out, pun intended, the marriage of convenience to save themselves from financial ruin is going to have issues. I don't have any secret addictions or seven fake IDs in the wings. Every one of my problems is painfully public, complete with court filings. However, I am somebody with the emotional intelligence and self-esteem of an Oprah worshiper."

"I can't help you with that, I'm not the type for comfort and sob stories, seriously!" there is something close to panic in the other woman's voice. 

"I would sign up for trepanning as a treatment before using you as a therapist, trust me I'm not that naive or too much of a dysfunctional cliché," Eve assures her with a bitter laugh. 

***

Oksana Astankova is acting strangely, not that there is anything unusual about that particular reality. 

In a way, the next few days of teaching and interpretation is more comfortable than all the previous ones, but at the same time, it's spooky. Oksana is diligently following her lessons and working to improve her interactions with Irina. She doesn't even protest when Eve goes over the basic history and grammar for the third time. Oksana has a natural gift for memory and mimicry, but she takes careful notes anyway and doesn't make comments at every opportunity. If it didn't run the risk of inflaming the situation, Eve would joke about the pod people or something. As it is, she merely continues the lessons. 

"I can apologise in multiple languages if that would make you feel better?"

"How many if any of those declarations would be genuine or simply a product of superior acting skills?"

"Why does that matter? Won't the result be the same?" 

Eve will never admit such a thing, but she feels a sense of relief when Oksana's control snaps before lunchtime, and she storms into Eve's room asking for an explanation and somehow making a kimono and jeans combination look good. Eve hopes that their future wedding dresses aren't going to be too outrageous or contentious. Theoretically, they will need plenty of photographs of that day, and she doesn't want to resemble anything from _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory._ A distant part of her mind admires the fearlessness that only the young and extremely beautiful can acquire. 

"I suppose it doesn't, in the end, considering the rest of our relationship is a lie for profit. Consider all your sins absolved, and we can start a clean slate, complete with the children and payment plan." Eve says drily. 

" _Living Contradiction."_ Oksana signs the two words slowly and with deliberate intent. 

"What?" 

_"That's what your new name will be. I don't understand you sometimes."_ Oksana explains with a shrug and a flicking fingers. 

"You need to be more definite with your gestures. Everything looks like gibberish right now. Irina and Igor better hand gestures than you, concentrate." 

Eve laughs when Oksana adds an extra flourish just to contradict the instruction. Maintaining her anger at this woman is pointless at this stage. She is never going to change, and Eve's isn't looking to be a saviour. 

***

_"When are you leaving?"_

Irina's signing is choppy, and she is expressing anger and confusion with every moment. Eve blinks in surprise and puts down the paper she is correcting. Irina is looking at her with the same fierceness that her father does on his good days. Her student is becoming more confident in expressing herself in this form; it's not surprising that both children pick up on the tension amongst the adults. It would be a mistake to assume that they don't understand the causes. 

_"I'm not going anywhere, Rini. I'm so sorry you were worried."_ _Eve signs solemnly._

_"You are angry at Oksana. When people get mad at her, they leave us without saying goodbye. Some of them were nice and gave us sweets."_

Eve wants Irina is looking at her directly before continuing the conversation. She tries not to think about the proverbial or literal revolving door of women that Oksana brings into this home when she is in Britain. No wonder Carolyn and the team are worried about her resume for adoption and guardianship. Hopefully, the authorities won't question the children too closely about such observations. 

" _Well, it's a good thing I am here for you and not Sky Dancer, even if she makes me mad I'm staying."_

Both the twins inherit their father's suspicious mind, and Irina is young. Still, she is cynical about life and the abilities of adults of the world to disappoint her. Eve waits while Irina watches her face for indicators she is telling the truth. As both a deaf child and a twin she is particularly sensitive to body languages and gesture. Whatever she is looking for Irina finds the answer, and she throws herself into Eve's arms, hugging her tightly. Eve isn't a tactical person by nature, but she welcomes the contact and gently strokes Irina's neat ponytail. 

_***_

"Just don't joke about this arrangement being anything more, there is no need to use the 'M-word' when we are alone. It's a sore point for me."

Oksana has the sense not to say anything, but she does still her routine of situps and leg lifts. For somebody who values being eccentric, Oksana has a fairly predictable routine. She may no longer be the star dancer travelling around the world, but Oksana still keeps her body in peak condition. All of their sign language lessons involve movement to some degree. Eve finds the children far easier to handle. She waits for Oksana to scramble into a seating position before continuing the conversation in earnest. 

"Are you going to run away each time I tread on your toes or fragile ego, Eve? We seem to be having this conversation regularly, should I record it and save time?" Oksana asks before taking a long drink from her water. 

"Not anymore. That's what strong Soju and junk food are for, that doesn't mean I have to tolerate you being your human pin cushion so you can see how many nerves you can strike. This concept may be foreign to you, but I am one of the few women in the world you to like you by the end of our acquaintance. Our deal was never about us, not really. Our messy lives are mutually compatible for a while."

"You say the most romantic things, Eve." Oksana drawls sardonically. 

"Surely there is a streak of Russian pragmatism somewhere. I know you are pathologically allergic to rules but try your best to follow the one or two and we will be fine." 

"I'm not very good at being Russian, ask any of the matrons at the orphanages." Oksana invites with a falsy innocent look. 

"Rumour has it you are not exceptionally talented at being human, but at least you are willing to try. Maybe you are like one of the Matryoshka Doll with the ability for different layers?" Eve suggests without much conviction. 

Oksana nods and stands up, offering her hand for a shake. The gesture seem a little ridiculous after all the intimate conversations. Eve looks at the long slender fingers before returning the ritual. Oksana's hands were roughly calloused and feel strange against her fashionable and debutante girl look. Standing this close Eve can see even more fine scars on her pale skin, and she feels a flare of curiosity but knows that the answers are not of her business. 

***

"Let's have the ceremony in eight weeks, the dates fit well with the school schedule and any social welfare meetings," Eve announces calmly. 

Konstantin and Oksana give her equally blank looks like the turnip from their dinner plates, she is almost absently feeding her former mentor small bites of soft food. Oksana looks surprisingly casual in a jumper and yoga pants. The shirt says something in Russian, but Eve doesn't try and translate; she focuses on Konstantin, who is eying speculatively. Eve wonders if he has a side job as an interrogator. Hiding her feelings and inner thoughts became the second nature the second or third time Rachel stole from her and took advantage of professional standing. 

"There is no sense in delaying until we become 'comfortable' with each of the plans. It’s always going to weird and morally ambiguous, Irina and Igor are familiar with my presence and potential role. As the lawyer said, the questions are only going to get more onerous and more intrusive, we may as well face reality with all the legal paperwork." Eve continues neutrally. 

Eve cannot blame either of them displaying such skepticism. Her suggestion is an abrupt turn around from the action of the previous weeks—Oksana in particular looks like she about to start dancing in a live minefield. Eve studies faces and expressions for a living, and she finds the way Oksana conducts herself to be a fascinating study in contradictions. The tall dancer can be at once overly dramatic and extreme and in the next moment have a truly unreadable expression on her face. Her sign language was a similar mixture of personality quirks. The ability to be in a fake relationship with the woman will be hard enough. Eve can't help but pity the woman who tries and have a genuine romance with her. Maybe she is like Pablo Picasso and other artists with a stable of muses and women. Oksana refuses to meet her gaze for more than a few seconds. 

"I was under the impression that there were more details to work out before we make such definitive steps," Konstantin asks. His voice sounds especially weak that night. 

Eve has to smile at the diplomatic way her temporary boss is trying to phrase the tension between her and Oksana in recent days. As if he was still a top-level dance instructor familiar coaxing and controlling the egos of dancers and artisans. Oksana will be his most challenging but not his only difficult former protegee. Eve still finds it a little strange that the one who claims to feel little emotion or attachment is the one that is sticking by Konstantin in his final days. The few other visitors Eve witnesses are uncomfortable and uncertain when around him now that so much of his former identity is no longer present. Eve knows all about the presence of fair-weather friends, but the idea still makes her sad for a man that can count his days in months. 

"Oksana and I have come to an understanding, and we can make things work in a mutually beneficial way. Eight weeks should give us time to iron out any issues for the paper union." Eve reasons with a half shrug. 

Eve glares at Oksana and dares her to contradict the lie. They two of them were too different ever truly to come to any form of understanding, that's what happens with so many fundamental differences. Eve doesn't trust Oksana not to drive her completely mad before week five and add this to her long list of life regrets. However, the fundamental thing is that they are common goals that (for the moment) work in harmony. There is no need to hover around the edges anymore. Eve can't afford the luxury of pride and waiting for the ideal circumstances to emerge. 

"Fine. Whenever you want, as long as you give me time to do my hair and find the perfect shoes. I refuse to let you get married in something made from your students on Etsy; I don't care what your budget looks like. We are getting hitched in real clothes." Oksana declares firmly. 

"You could learn a thing or two from Eve's fiscal responsibility, Sana. You won't be getting the large production salary for much longer. I doubt you know what is in your three closets, beyond thing from the latest designer catalogues. 

"I try not to spend anymore analysing the closet than I need to, Konsti." Oksana quips with a raised eyebrow. 

"We will find something close to a balance between Jimmy Choos and Jumbo Flour." Eve cuts between them before they two Russians can start bantering. 

At least her second wedding will have a healthier budget than her first, complete with top-shelf alcohol. 


	8. Past Perfect: Look Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve has loose ends

_Well maybe baby the gypsy lied_

_So when you look at me_

_You better look hard and look twice_

_Is that me baby_

_Or just a brilliant disguise_

_Tonight our bed is cold_

_Lost in the darkness of our love_

_God have mercy on the man_

_Who doubts what he's sure of_

_Bruce Springsteen - Brilliant Disguise_

It feels surreal, actively digging up the past. 

Eve refuses to let Rachael overwhelm her thoughts daily, but it doesn't take much for her trauma and fear to come to the surface, the relationship with Oksana and family does a number on her defences. In a sense she was always building a castle in the air. Eve couldn't avoid dealing with Rachel forever, especially if her former girlfriend was willingly re-entering the hands of the British Justice System. There is still a slight possibility that Oksana is responsible and set Russian goons on her. Still, it's unlikely that she will do anything to jeopardise the custody hearings later in the month. 

Carolyn Martins may have 'encouraged' the situation but considering her resources, Rachel didn't put up any resistance. Right now is a horrible time for this refresher in her romantic disaster, but there isn't ever going to be a good time per se for such things. Just like no amount of preparing would make Niko ready for the reality of the divorce and Eve dating a woman. It takes months of therapy for Eve not to take the currents of her life entirely personally, as a person in her 40s, statistically she is likely to face the prospect of separation, ailing parents at some stage. The woman is too gentle to point out that Eve is probably entering the age range for love scam targets, complete with great promises. 

The fact that Rachel wants to see her and goes through the official channels to make the overture is not something Eve sees coming. While Rachel's deception leaves her heartsick and broken, the courts make it painfully clear that she is a frequent con artist and is unlikely to have a crisis of confidence, even when her beloved grandma begs her to explain. Those words were hard enough to hear the first time and don't get any more comfortable with each retelling her defence lawyer makes in all the debt hearings. 

"What do you think I should do?"

"This woman exercises far too much power over you from a distance; there will be few opportunities to meet her in a controlled environment with rules. I am no expert in such things but in my opinion, seeing your private demon in mortal flesh will do you some good. Especially if you are sticking to this timeframe for the arrangement with Oksana, better not to have skeletons dancing in the closet." Carolyn insists while looking over visit documents. 

"She does things to me, Carolyn, I was sensible before the relationship began, she was charming, supportive and empathic," Eve whispers. 

"As are most of the confidence men and women throughout history, you are not the trembling newbie on the scene anymore, Eve, if you have to chant that line from the David Bowie movie but face the situation head-on." Carolyn reiterates firmly. 

"I can't imagine you being a devotee of Ziggy Stardust, Carolyn, in all his incarnations," Eve comments with a startled laugh. 

"We do not have time to go into detail about my misspent youth across Europe. From all my investigations, Rachel is sincere, or as much as she is capable of, in her efforts. 

***

"I need you to come with me to play at Restorative Justice."

Oksana looks up wearily from the push-ups she is racing through with the some strange K-Pop tunes at full volume. Eve doesn't blame her entirely. They may get through their latest conflict and agreed on a wedding date, but things are still not altogether sane between them and within the realms of asking for favours. It's not like there are communication specialists with a niche interest in getting people to understand and work with your fake future wife to secure a small fortune. Eve is reasonably confident that Dr Kliene would frown on such an undertaking. 

"Rachel wants me to meet her so she can confess all her sins and prove that she is truly remorseful or something. I stopped paying attention after that. I would normally tell her to go to hell or at least rot in prison, but this could be useful in our little quest for 'relationship evidence'." Eve explains in a rush. 

"I'm not the most logical choice for comf...." Oksana begins sounding almost hesitant as she stands up from gym map. 

"I thought we already had this conversation. Korean alcohol and junk food will be my go-to comfort. You are playing a specific role for me, and it isn't my emotional comfort." 

"That will be..."

"To quote Rachel, she is or was my 'Starter Lesbian’ complete with introducing me to the London queer community. We still have many friends in common and more acquaintances. If she sees us together, it won't be long before the word spreads to the right people and the wedding won't be a complete shock to the system. They aren't my friends per se, but they will know to answer any questions from the social workers." Eve explains with a feral grin. 

"You want me to tell her how glorious you are in bed and the amazing positions we try? It will drive her wild to lose you to a Russian bombshell half her age." Oksana asks, her eyes eagerly lightening up in triumph.

A smart part of Eve finds the prospect tempting, especially because she knows that Rachel is a jealous person (and a hypocrite). However, she doesn't want to get into a good fistfight over this woman. Oksana loves to stir trouble, but she doesn't know how to stop poking at the hornet nests. Giving her an open invitation to talk about such things will be asking for trouble. 

"No! I need you to sit there and look pretty while she draws her conclusion without any ammunition. If you bait her it will become a competition, and I will have to mediate, can you do that? Come out to friends from the gay community without saying a word, in any language?"

**

Oksana embraces her role with deep relish and gusto. 

Eve knows that it is petty and cruel, but she savours walking beside Oksana Astankova to meet her former-girlfriend-turned-Shakespeare-level-nemesis. Eve always felt self-conscious around Rachel and her glamorous gallery friends, who discuss things like makeup and the latest hair trends with casual confidence. While she has a new wardrobe thanks to the perks of this new role, that doesn't mean she walks comfortably in the expensive heels or that she doesn't have the urge to fiddle with the scarf every five seconds. The best accessory for this occasion is walking on her arm standing tall and proud. 

If Oksana didn't have an insatiable appetite for a challenge and adrenaline, she would make an excellent model for Vogue or something like that. The attention and access to perfume and fancy clothes would entrance her, not to mention the steady supply of beautiful women on demand. Right now Oksana is putting those skills to use by flaunting a suit and (yet another) Burberry coat. Eve likes the electric blue shirt with the shapes of animals in intricate stitching. The shirt alone likely costs more than Eve's first and second cars put together, but she feels herself growing in confidence by association. 

"Well it's a good thing we aren't meeting her in an actual prison, that outfit will not pass muster," Eve says drily, smiling despite herself. 

"I did my research Eve; this is a perfect ‘you can't have me’ celebrity fantasy look. Trust me, by the time the hour is up the Witch will be quite mad with curiosity and afront." Oksana insists as they walk to the car. 

***

"Thank you for coming Eve; I didn't expect you to answer the request."

Over the last year, Eve has built Rachel up in her head and her glamorous life on the run with a harem of beautiful women and diamonds. All her revenge fantasies involve meeting her in Fiji or somewhere tropical and knowing precisely what to say at any given moment. Of course, there is an argument is that she is guilty as well, if not legally then morally and therefore, she doesn't even deserve revenge. Eve likes to think that the one thing people can't steal from her now is the right to think for herself and plan elaborate set-ups even if none of them happens in real life. 

However, kicking this version of Rachel wouldn't have anywhere near the satisfaction of besting her glamorous former girlfriend who owns several galleries in multiple countries. Eve is no expert on the subject, but her hair is limp and dull, and house arrest is doing nothing for Rachel's complexion. She looks sallow and sickly; her grandmother will be so worried. 

"Well resolution is all the rage in therapy right now, and I couldn't keep treating you like a monster under the stairs. There is a whole world out there where I am more than just a collection of your debts. Thank you for not trying to have a life on the run, it helps, not a lot but at least my credit score is safe." Eve explains moving awkwardly in the chair. 

"Who's your friend?" Rachel asks, looking at Oksana over Eve's shoulder. 

Eve doesn't need to turn around and study the interaction; she knows that Oksana will be staring Rachel down with intimidating self-possession. One of the things she liked about Rachel is her confidence but months on the run changes and challenges this identity. Bringing Oksana into the room is an unfair and petty test, but it will do the job. Rachel has unlimited contacts in the London gay scene, and many remain loyal despite the scandal. The notion that Eve is in the company of a Russian dancer half her age will spread like wildfire, especially as the art scene tends to trade in gossip along with a canvas. 

"This is Oksana; she'll be waiting for me to finish." Eve doesn't offer any more details. 

Oksana plans and schemes for this single moment when Rachel sizes up the 'competition' at a glance and sees the wealth and privilege. Eve hates that she was so weak and desperate during the last few months of the relationship with the other woman. Despite all her education and travelling. She fell for the lines without hesitation or critique, even the second trip high end to France in as many months. There was no way that the gallery should be _that_ recession-proof. Oksana is her insurance policy that she can confront Rachel without breaking. 

"New girlfriend or...." Rachel asks after a long silence. 

Eve is about to reply, but Oksana turns away and drops into the couch in the back of the room, turning her back on the two other people in the room. One of the younger woman's many talents is completely ignoring other people. Eve draws Rachel's attention back to their meeting by refusing to acknowledge the subtext in the room. 

***

The situation is painfully awkward, but strangely Oksana's presence becomes oddly comforting. 

She is a hyperactive dancer with zero ability to stay still for any length of time and the patience of a mayfly. Eve keeps bracing herself for inappropriate comments and insults in multiple languages, but for once, her future wife pays attention to her instructions. After the occasional glance, Oksana smiles and returns her attention to the magazine she is flicking through without much notice. Somehow she manages to keep her coat and outfit looking perfectly crisp and beautiful. 

Rachel catches the looks and frowns but gamely keeps the conversation going, talking about her confession to the courts and plans for her grandma while serving in prison. Eve almost smiles when she sees Rachel's hands almost subconsciously start signing when they enter the conversation. Those long graceful hands were one of the first things that caught Eve's attention so many months ago. 

"Is Oksana going to speak, or is she just hear to look pretty and glower at me every two seconds?" Rachel asks a curious mixture of emotions in her voice. 

"You have no right to comment or critique the company I keep, Rachel. This hour is your horse and pony show, not ours." Eve insists sharply, feeling strangely protective. 

"Is she a little..." Rachel begins hesitantly. 

"If you finish that sentence we are leaving and not coming back, let's get down to business without getting off-topic. You are going to divert your 'secret' funds back to the creditors." Eve insists.

"I confessed to everything and gave them enough bank records to protect you from any more charges. I would offer to give you money for the debts, but everything is frozen, and I know that your moral compass is too strong anyway." 

Eve tries to listen and focus as Rachel outlines the deal her lawyer struck with the crown. However, she feels her anger built as her lover lays out the extent of her deception and globe-trotting lifestyle. A considerable amount of pain was for nought if her crisis of conscious came earlier in the piece when Eve was facing charges alone and scared.

"You make a terrible starter lesbian," Eve quips angry. 

Rachel starts at the insult and Oksana barks out a delighted laugh, not even pretending to ignore the conversation now. Eve doesn't mean to say the words. Her patience is fraying under the civility and mature dialogue. Maybe she is spending too much time with Oksana and the children. She feels the need to hash out the reality of this situation for once. Staying dignified and contained is draining and is making her sick, like a low-grade infection that leaves an ache in her bones. The truthful words feel satisfying regardless of the consequences. 

"If it’s any consolation, I was trying to be a good one, Eve. I wanted to make you happy and experience the new world, like Aladdin and Jasmine or something. I'm a magpie to stay away from bright and shiny things. Which makes me a shitty person in general, regardless of your status. Please understand you weren't an easy mark or a girlfriend with good credit scores, I was in too deep, and that's all on me." Rachel says earnestly. 

"Forgive me; I don't take self-esteem advice from the person who dragged me through bankruptcy court and several long and humiliating conversations about how lesbians can transmit sexual diseases. Most of which I didn't even know the name of, a whole new level of mortification for a woman with zero experience." Eve snaps sharply. 

"Amateur, cleaning everything is a basic requirement," Oksana hisses out fiercely with no small amount of disgust. 

"Oksana, we don't need any comments from the peanut gallery."

"Oh God Eve, I'm so sorry, I promise all my last tests which completely clean." Rachel looks genuinely horrified by the scenario. 

"Well, you weren't there to offer any reassurances in person. The lovely doctors at the health clinic tend to worry when you say you are the subject of an international love scam, and the person in question has lovers everywhere."

***

"You were glorious, my darling."

"I was petty, immature and vindictive, but I can see how that would be a distinction without a difference for someone like you."

Eve doesn't feel glorious or anything close to it as they leave the facility. Rachel will face the courts in a couple of weeks, but it is unlikely that Eve will need to testify. Her part in the whole situation is already on record in graphic detail. If the fates are kind, Eve will never have to see the woman again and deal with the unique mix of longing, despair and sadness that taints even the happiest memories with Rachel and her grandmother. Maybe that is the hardest part of all, realising that she can never have those ideal moments back again.

"Thank you for staying quiet. I wasn't entirely sure if you were physically capable of such feats." Eve sighs with genuine appreciation. 

"Are you kidding? It was so much more fun watching her go wild trying to figure out who I was and what our relationship was, she was losing the plot. Naturally, I did manage to sneak in a few comments in BSL about how beautiful you are and what she lost." Oksana laughs evilly at the concept. 

"What did you say? Please tell me there was no reference to athletic, gravity-defying sex? We were on film, Sana." 

"Just that she was a fool to prize material assets over you and that the 'Gays for Jail' in prison won't be near as fun. Your Rachel _desperately_ wants to insult me back, but there is no come back worth making and we were both trying to be good for you."

"Come on, Lancelot, I'll buy you a top-line dinner for your courtly efforts." 

"Wasn't he the handsome knight that stole the queen away from ageing and bitter Sean Connery?" Oksana asks thoughtfully.

"That's one interpretation, but I was using him as a generic stand-in for knightly deeds. We can talk about the specifics at that Italian Buffet that’s either going to enshrine you or ban you for eating so much. We have a fake wedding to plan."

***

The day doesn't end with peace and comfort, but there was a certain amount of satisfaction. Ever since her personal life turned to ashes, Eve re-evaluates her definitions of success and dignity. Seeing Rachel again didn't make her bawl like a baby, ergo victory. Strictly speaking there is nothing she needs to do aside from verifying with the court that she attended the outreach by Rachel, which may or may not help her defence. According to Eve's long-suffering lawyer, her former girlfriend wrote to them with more evidence that Eve was innocent and didn't knowingly conspire. The gesture is the very definition of too little too late, but it may prevent more cases in the future. 

"At least if I _were_ a willing participant in her scheme, there would be a level of dignity and pride at play, no matter how illegal. Now I get the pity party of the thousand wretched souls caught in a love scam."

"You may be a later-in-life lesbian but don't overestimate the perks of going to prison to soothe your ego. _Orange is The New Black_ is fiction on multiple levels with access to privacy being one of the most important. You are a deeply middle-class language nerd, take the escape and find a nice librarian to settle down with and adopt a Cocadoodle or something." Jess points out, and there is an unnecessary amount of glee in her pragmatism. 

"Did we not just have the conversation about me marrying a woman half my age to get out from a mountain of debt? I somehow think my white fence days are behind me." Eve points out dryly, reaching for another cup of Saki. 

"That's an entirely separate issue, far be it for me to agree with your terrifying former boss. This arrangement of yours seems like it could work for everybody in the picture. I doubt your Casanova of a future wife would begrudge you some fun." Jess disagrees with a dismissive wave. 

"Maybe not, but my immigrant conservatism and parent hang-ups will. I am one relationship at a time kind of person, even if it is a fake one."

"There aren't any real-life scripts for such things; you never know what will happen."


	9. Present Tension: God Have Mercy

_I'm never sure when the truth won't do_

_I'm pretty good on a lonely night_

_I move on the way a storm blows through_

_I never stay, but then again, I might_

_I struggle sometimes to find the words_

_Always sure until I doubt_

_Walk a line until it blurs_

_Build the walls too high to climb out_

_Better as a Memory - Kenny Chesney_

Eve is a reluctant expert at moving. 

The significant milestones in her life involve significant moves across countries and oceans. Establishing a career in her birthplace presents both a challenge and an opportunity. Her effort to build experiences with both Niko and Rachel are genuine if spectacularly unsuccessful. The common thread to all this is an endless procession of boxes and packing crates. Eve has a reputation for lack of organisation and usual chaos when it comes to her relationship with clothes and possessions. However, when the court imposes involuntary minimalism, the lack of fuss suits her. Besides, most of the sentimental knick-knacks invoke a sense of failure now. In a way, the complete lack of discretionary money or ability to get credit makes it easier not to make decisions when she is in the throes of depression. 

"Is there anything else we can do for you, Miss Eve?" 

Eve is still adjusting to the fact she has a mini support team who is helping her both with the move and the general routines of the house. Konstantin is fortunate enough to have the resources to prepare for the days when he will lack the ability to do many things for himself. These provisions include setting up new members in the household and daily management. Eve is conscious of remaining respectful of this space that acts as his sanctuary. She may not entirely agree with his ties to corrupt business dealings, but she can't argue with what this affords his remaining family members. 

"Can you tell me about household tasks and chores. I will start cooking and things with the twins, there are small modifications we can make to the kitchen that will increase Irina's independence. She insists that we learn Korean barbecue even though my skills are the family scandal during the holiday." Eve explains lightly. 

Eve and the housekeeper (an intimidatingly efficient woman named Olga) spend the next few hours discussing every mundane detail from lunches to laundry. Her role in the house is specific and will not crossover into the 'mothering' realm but the central tenant of this arrangement and her financial saviour is creating a stable and safe foundation for these children under challenging circumstances. The least she can do is learn to make their favourite snacks and watch the occasional educational movie with Igor. Her conversation Russian is decent but could still use improvement in the vocabulary of an eight-year-old. 

"Of course you would be spending your first day away from your matchbox apartment talking about cooking and cleaning products, Eve." Oksana comments from the door. 

"You could learn a thing or two from such responsibility and diligence, Miss Oksana. Cleaning, for example." Olga snips darkly. 

"And you could still be in the hellhole in Siberia, Olga. We can't always get what we dream about can we?" Oksana fires back with a dismissive wave. 

Eve watches the interplay with interest. Oksana genuinely doesn't feel the need to get along with anybody aside from the occasional kittens and Konstantin’s family. She seems to have an apathy/hate relationship with the nurses and assistants. Mainly Oksana makes sarcastic comments and insults that don't seem to hit the mark with anyone. Perhaps 'Oksana Hazard Pay' is a requirement for working for their boss. Although in Eve's limited observations, Oksana has both a strained and strange relationship with older women from Russia and Eastern Europe, as if they reflect something she doesn't want to contemplate too deeply. In turn, they regard her with very degrees of suspicion. For the most part, is the younger woman that backs down first. 

"Didn't we have an entire conversation about you not treating people like disposable objects? And trying to build up at least a working relationship with them before the interviews begin?” Eve asks not bothering to hide her annoyance. 

"Olga's son is foolish enough to be a journalist back in Russia. She won't rock the immigration boat." Oksana argues back. 

***

Her small section in the large house is all the space she needs, and more than she was expecting. The Vasilievs live in an impressive piece of property, but it is a working home rather than a movie set. Several rooms are theatrical, but there are no oil paintings and velvet. The significant expenses revolve around making space for the twins and Irina's deafness. While she never imagines relocating to a place like this for any length of time, there are definite advantages, including no rent. 

There are enough shelves to keep the small collection of photos of her parents and young students. Eve likes seeing images of her parents as happy and healthy without the ravages of time. She keeps a few keepsakes from her trips through Europe with Niko because there were positive, happy memories in between the frustration and fear. Her therapy game isn't strong enough to face connecting with him to 'talk through' things, but maybe that will come later. The rumour mill has him dating a perfectly lovely English teacher who does everything he wants in a future wife. Emily is planning a trip back to Poland to visit his family. Eve doesn't feel jealous, but she does regret how things ended. 

Eve smiles at the large bed in the centre of the room. They expensive sheets and pillows are Oksana's contribution to the move. Eve has to laugh at the selfishness of the gesture, but the bed is ridiculously comfortable. Surprisingly the colours are pure cream with blue pillowcases. Eve was half expecting pictures of women from the latest additions of mem's magazines or something. Right now Irina is sitting on the bed watching her warily and fiddling with the limbs of her favourite toy bear. There is something on her mind, but Eve knows not to push for answers. Her student is decent company anyway. 

_"Are you staying with us forever?"_

Eve prepares herself for the question as best she can. There is a sharp difference between Irina and Igor, enjoying presence as a fun teacher and living together full time. Irina, in particular, is taking the new development with a level of scepticism. The child may be spending too much time with Oksana as she glares at Eve with a mixture of possessiveness and weariness. The way she emphasises the last word shows both an improvement in her willingness to sign and how she views the situation. Both the youngest members of the family are taking fashion tips from Oksana, each wearing new and fancy outfits. Thankfully nothing is too 'twin magic' or gendered. 

_"I am staying with you for at least the next year to help you adjust to living in Britain and the new school. My circumstances make it difficult for me to promise or plan long term._ _I want you to know we are going to be friends for a long time and I'll send you relay information_ wherever I end up." Eve signs each what and concepts carefully. 

Irina shifts on the bed and moves closer to Eve, her eyes wide with uncertainty, but she doesn't flee from the room or start throwing things which is progress. Her next signs are relaxed and Eve sets aside her boxes so she can focus attention on the conversation. After several false starts, Irina finds a rhythm to her next questions. She frowns in concentration, but her hands are fluid as she puts her thoughts in motion.

_"When Daddy leaves...you and Oksana will stay with us? You will be here after school and stuff."_

" _That's what this is all about, is making things right for you and your brother. Your dad loves you very much."_

***

"It's working like a charm!"

Eve looks up weary as Oksana bounces into the room. That level of excitement in a regular person is a source of joy, but with the dancer, only a fool doesn't worry. By her absurdly high standards, Oksana is in casual gear, but the intricate silk kimono over PJs still looks ridiculously pricy. For all Eve knows some infatuated designer made it especially for this mercurial being. A part of her wants to leave Oksana waiting before acknowledging her, but she is somewhat curious. 

"You elaborate plan to convince most female members of the European royal family that they are gay or at least bicurious?" Eve guesses sardonically. 

"Rachel's lackey's are curious about me and are starting to follow me on social media, a few a friends of yours too. Not that anybody should be excited about your pages, there is nothing on them. Sign Language is fantastic but does it need to be every one of your posts?" Oksana asks with a frustrated sigh. 

"Focus, Oksana. I promise you can have control of my feeds when we 'marry.'" Eve promises to get her on track. 

Oksana enthusiastically thrusts her iPad in Eve's direction, gesturing to the tabs that are already open. It takes Eve a few seconds to scroll through the main ones, true to her word; there are connections between Oksana and members of the gallery and queer social scene. Nobody is actively making comments, but the interest is there. There may be crossover amongst the art and dance scene. Oksana has a full enough circle for that to be the case. Such occurrences will work in their favour in the long run, but it is a disconcerting notion Eve suspects that if she bothers to read her feeds, there will be multiple messages. Somewhere along the way, Eve refuses to maintain the relationships with 'Rachel's friends' although it isn't entirely fair, some of the friendships she formed are genuine. 

"What are you going to say to them?" Eve asks.

"That I have fallen for the most beautiful BSL interpreter in the Isles?" Oksana jokes with a wicked gleam mainly to offend her. 

"Nobody in this circle will believe that. Most of them took great pity in my foolish infatuation with Rachel. Some of them tried to warn but failed to mention that she was serial cheater and kleptomaniac. They were happy to watch me stumble like an idiot believing every pretty word and promise. There was no newbie intervention, which is a small mercy." 

"Why can't Irina insult herself and her outcast status but you can do it at least 40 times a day? It seems like the little fat kitten has more of a justification," Oksana points out without judgement or the urge to soothe. 

Eve cocks her head in surprise at the observation. They will need to talk about not insulting children anyway. Friends tend to accept her self-depreciation as part of the 'New Eve' along with the gay thing. Oksana has a long history of avoiding relationship engagements, in whatever form. Even her connection with Eve is a combination of attraction and obsession without following the traditional blueprint in any way. Yet the comment does make her think at least a little. 

***

"There is no going back now."

Carolyn Martens comes around theoretically with a house warming plant, but in reality, she wants to quiz Eve about the experience with Rachel. The woman is the least warm or sentimental person in Britain, but she is loyal, especially if the loyalty will meet her needs. She is such a talented politician because she can walk the line between caring and ruthlessness. The woman manages to navigate through the Cold War (possibly on both sides) and the halls of Westminster when nobody trust politics. 

"Do you have anything more constructive to add than the start of a life coaching session? There was no going back the second you made the proposition, both Oksana and I were desperate enough in our different ways." Eve points out with more humour than real anger. 

"That's not what you tell your future wife regularly." Carolyn retorts as she rearranges the flowers 

"You make the first overture, and no doubt puts in a positive word with me to Konstantin if not Oksana. But you need to trust us to make our deals in private. We will have enough obstacles as such different people without you as our somewhat benevolent overseer." Eve points out sharply.

"You are demonstrating considerably better judgement in the last few weeks than in previous months. Sitting in your apartment watching incredibly bad K Dramas in the rotation of 1 1/2 outfits is not a good look on anyone." Carolyn quips archly before picking up her teacup. 

"Which is snarky code for I am meeting your expectations on the chessboard, right?" Eve asks, not summoning the effort to joke; it's mostly true anyway. 

"As I keep saying, there are no reasons that both our needs aren't in play here. You may need my advice when it comes to Russian culture and working with Konstantin's estate." There is a faint tremble in the older woman's voice. 

Somehow that is more frightening than any of her planning and business ruthlessness. Eve wants to keep arguing with the sake of releasing some emotional energy. However, if therapy teaches her anything is that arguments aren't a medical alternative. 

***

"Is there anybody you need to tell or contact?"

Eve asks the question as they are eating dinner the following day; all of her stuff in the house and the lease on her former apartment is with the new tenants. The children aren't entirely sure of this new arrangement, but for the most part, they trust the adults in their lives and enjoy this new routine. Starting next week, Eve will begin taking the twins to their different schools and acting as a volunteer at Irina's deaf education centre. She is looking forward to the new experience and spending time with deaf educators. 

"Don't worry I will be spreading the word far and wide, the hashtags are ready to go, and we need to talk about your favourite filters," Oksana says eagerly. 

Out of morbid curiosity, Eve starts following all of Oksana's public profiles and the dance studios she contracts with; there is a fair amount to find. Eve knows next to nothing about the modern dance world and even less about the elite level. However, critics in the field seem to rate both her performances and artistic talent. There is plenty of speculation about her active social life and torrid affairs with many women. It's nothing that Eve didn't already know through the Carolyn Martens Intelligence Network Of Useful People. Somehow Eve became one of those more or less voluntarily. 

"No, we won't, nothing in my life needs filters, I was referring to you connecting with friends. People who may have concerns about you marrying a woman who is near twice your age? People from the dance company?" Eve suggests quietly.

"I have rivals and have temporary allies. Haven't you heard all the rumours about the Russian dance academies? The occasional scandal about the woman from the Bolshoi is nothing compared gets covered up so they can be more friendly to the tourists who descend on the city like a plague of locust." Oksana points out drily with a shrug. 

"Surely amongst your thousands of followers and friends, you have legitimate friends who knew you before the makeup and costumes?" Eve probes gently, knowing she is admitting she follows such things and knows Oksana 'social stats.' 

***

"Do you know how to dance, Eve?"

"If by dancing, you mean shuffling from side to side and trying to get to the corner in record time then yes. The alcohol at my wedding helped with my coordination." Eve answers wearily, not liking the direction of the conversation. 

"We are Russian, and Mother Russia knows how to party and dancing is a requirement. I will teach you some basic moves, so I don't have to bribe the videographer for a better close up." Oksana explains gesturing to the open space. 

"A) You hate 'Mother Russia' and have no loyalty to the place or traditions besides vodka and b) I never signed up for any public spectacle," Eve says sharply. 

"Of course you signed up for a public spectacle. You are going to marry someone one reviewer calls the 'living embodiment of the term.' I was sleeping with his wife, but that is beside the point." Oksana disagrees. 

A dim part of her brain knows she is obstructive. Strictly speaking, there is no reason for them not to have a simple ceremony at the registry office with minimal fuss. Later down the line, she may even win that argument depending on circumstances. At some point, though she is going to have to face the likelihood of a formal celebration. Carolyn did not do all this work and scheming for them to get away without a three-course meal in multiple languages.

Besides the children are likely to enjoy something like that, especially if they see their father having fun. The vibrations from the floor could be a thrill for Irina and Eve could brush off her 'signing songs’ skills." According to the kids at her last school placement, she is useless but enthusiastic. On a rational level Eve knows that Oksana's story about having no friends is likely a bullshit manipulation, but at the same time, she still feels empathy for the younger woman. She shakes her and follows Oksana out onto the lawn, smirking at a look of genuine surprise the words elicit. 

"I am not defying gravity in any way nor are we recreating any scenes from _Dirty Dancing._ Stick with the basics so I can avoid breaking your highly valuable toes." Eve instructs firmly. 

"Isn't it you who keeps telling me that we have different generations? Why would I know that movie?" Oksana quips 

"Keep moving, Oksana."


	10. Past Simple: Don't Trust Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sooo the finale did a number on my emotions :)

_Now look at me, baby_

_Struggling to do everything right_

_And then it all falls apart_

_When out go the lights_

_I'm just a lonely pilgrim_

_I walk this world in wealth_

_I want to know if it's you I don't trust_

_'Cause I damn sure don't trust myself_

Bruce Springsteen - Brilliant Disguise 

"What the hell is going on, Eve?"

Eve winces at the mixture of anger and concern in her friend's voice. This lunch is the scenario that she was most dreading when it came do going 'public' of sorts with a new relationship. Despite the isolation of the last year, there were still people that genuinely cared and didn't want to see her get hurt again. Of those people, there were even fewer (once her parents got sick) who wouldn't be put off by casual reassurances. The Pargraves were amongst that select group. Bill, in particular, was glaring at her like a suspect or long-standing criminal. He is the last person to follow everything on social media, but his wife, Keiko, is keeping them up to date. 

Bill is a former security consultant who worked with Carolyn when she was doing business in Korea, China and Japan. He and Eve were friendly but never particularly close until his eldest daughter received the diagnosis of profound hearing loss, and the family moved back to Britain to begin the best interventions. Carolyn is aware of her skill sets and asked Eve to offer support. Bill is an older father, and there are enough challenges in that without the additional complexities of special needs. However, he is adjusting well, and their catch-ups are generally social now, except for today. 

"Look, it's not like how things were with Rachel, okay. Oksana is a player with a dubious reputation and infamous online presence. Still, I won't be crashing on your couch eating all of Keiko's dumplings and rice and being a dreadful Asian houseguest." Eve rushes to reassure without sounding too hysterical. 

"Oh, I imagine there is quite a difference between a kleptomaniac art curator and world-renowned Russian dancer with connections to the worst parts the Kremlin. Their ability to get you into and out of debt, respectively. The need for a Sign Language Interpreter is a bonus, right?" Bill asks drily. 

Eve pauses and finishing swallowing her coffee before responding to the comment. She was fully expecting the conversation to be painful and awkward, but this is not the precise direction for Bill to steer the conversation. Eve knows from experience that the older man will wait for a long time to get a satisfactory response from anyone in the room. Eve ideally wonders if this is what her parents would be like if they didn't get sick during the separation and divorce. 

"Did you do a background check on both of us?" Eve asks wearily, knowing that nothing is beyond the man even in retirement. 

"Carolyn Martens is brilliant, and a wily political fox but the signs were there if you know were to look. The plan is flawless, it looks exactly like an arranged marriage, but nobody will question it. The overworked and underpaid social workers will delight in the support systems and structures already in place." There is genuine admiration in his voice. 

"Then why do you look like you want to integrate Oksana about her intentions towards me or something?" Eve argues ,scowling playfully.

Bill shakes his head and starts a series of rapid-fire questions about the setup. It is evident that he already did a fair amount of background work with regards to Konstantin and the children. Bill approves of her new financial structures and the legal support systems. Eve starts to squirm at the level of detail, but he refuses to shy away from the uncomfortable aspects of a potential relationship. Oksana's litany of exes do not sound great when put out in a list but Eve is hardly in a position to judge. 

***

"I _do_ want to meet Oksana Astankova and discuss her intentions towards you." Bill declares as they walk towards the kindergarten to pick up the girls. 

"Oh come off it. You know I am marrying the woman purely for her money and possibly for the access to excellent signing resources. There is nothing to protect me from when neither of our hearts is involved. Between what happened with Rachel and Niko, I have enough therapists and medication to stay ahead of the game. I'm sure Emily and Rosa can be flower girls or something if you want." Eve offers by way of compromise. 

"Keiko and I weren't in the country when Rachel took you for a ride, still feel terrible about it. Please let me do this; we can arrange a signing date between the girls. Irina is only a year or so older than Emmy." Bill points out reasonably. 

Once Eve recovered from the first shell shock of Rachel's betrayal, she spent almost as much time counselling her friends and work colleagues. This whole arrangement may be the result of Carolyn feeling guilty and being typically British and substituting feelings for sensible investment and finances. 

"Bill...you are wasting your time, not something you have to a lot of now." Eve insists almost pleadingly. 

"This is not negotiable. Carolyn Martins isn't the only one with contacts in the field. Let me meet her in person, or I will start making plans for a trip to the Russian Embassy. If I have to brush off my snow boots and knock on the red door myself, that will happen." Bill looks unmovable. 

"Fine, only because your wife will kill me if you do anything dramatic like that again. Text me the details and any questions you want answering in advance." 

Any more conversation derails with the appearance of Bill's two daughters who fly enthusiastically into their father's arms. Eve doesn't know them well, but she feels any affection for them after supporting both parents to learn sign language. Both Emily and her sister are fluent and are willing to chatter with anybody who has any talent. Luckily both the schools are within walking distance, and the sisters are particularly close. 

In strikes Eve as they start walking home that it won't be long before she is planning similar trips with the times and hearing about their days. The notion isn't as scary as it should have been. 

***

"That's a brilliant idea, Eve, perfect opportunity to continue the social media blitz. Children love me, parents, not so much. I'll find a massive tree and swing upside down for a while." Oksana sounds enthusiastic about the prospect.

"Are you sure? Bill has connections and will grill you harder than the lawyer and even Carolyn. He is on something of a guilt trip about Rachel and wants to make sure this arrangement is watertight. We may not have to fake emotions and romance, but there will be other factors in play, the _real_ parts of this equation." Eve cautions seriously. 

"We can consider this practice for the real thing in a few weeks with the social workers and their minions. These are people that you want in the wedding party. Let's make a time with Irina and Igor." Oksana says confidently. 

"Oksana this isn't going to be like charming investors for the dance studio or bantering with Carolyn. We need to make this work." Eve insists as she scrambles after the taller woman. 

" _Trust me Eve Who Worries."_ Oksana signs mockingly before heading to the playroom. 

Eve glowers but follows obediently absently picking up the sign books that are all over Oksana bedroom floor. Surprising she is taking the prospect of learning sign language to an expert level to heart. Oksana is a natural polyglot, but there are distinctions between that gift and the ability to convey meaning to a child who is a different stage of development. In some way, her competitive and obsessive nature works in Eve's favour. Chances are something else that will attract her attention, but it's worth taking advantage of this behaviour while it is still fresh and shiny. Even if Irina choices to attend one of the adapted boarding schools or universities, this foundation will be excellent. 

_"We are going to meet Eve's friends who know sign language and have kids your age. Isn't that fun?"_ Oksana burst into the room, signing even though the kids are watching a movie. 

" _Why?"_ Igor asks managing to convey both suspicion and disinterest in the same small sign. 

_"Because Eve is coming to live with us and she wants us to meet her friends. Rini needs to practice her signs with other people."_ Oksana lies with confidence and skill. 

_"Why do I have to go along with her, then?"_ Igor challenges, sounding precisely like his father. 

" _Because you can sulk and play your games from anywhere and why not have a new place and free food. Your sister needs you to stay confident; I'll buy you some credit for that gaming site you like."_ Oksana switches seamlessly to bribery. 

***

_"Hello Irina, welcome to our home. Emily is looking forward to meeting you."_

Eve watches Irina closely as she accepts the greeting of Keiko Pargrave with uncharacteristic enthusiasm. Typically neither of the twins enjoys interacting with new people that much, especially since Konsantin became sicker. Irina, in particular, becomes resistant with her signing and will consciously 'blank' people out. This behaviour can be challenging even for people with experience in most forms of sign language. The tendencies of both his children are one of the reasons that Konsantin is so adamant about facilitating a private (legal) set up. However, children can't avoid the rest of the world forever, and Irina is improving with the regular lessons and new classmates. Little persuasion was needed when she learns that these are friends of Eve. 

_"Thank you for having me, can I see your new puppy? Eve says he is learning to sign too!"_ Irina asks enthusiastically, looking around for the dog in question.

Keiko smiles at Eve in greeting before obediently leading the search for the newest family member. Bill's wife is one of those people that copes with the reality of a disability diagnosis by learning everything possible. She becomes fluent in BSL quickly and develops a local support group, especially for families that new to the country and may not have relatives here. There can still be a considerable stigma attached to a mother who gives birth to less than perfect children. Keiko fights fiercely for such rights. Eve doesn't know how much she knows about Oksana, but there is amusement in her eyes. 

_"She is gorgeous, Evie, go for it."_ is her quick sign before anyone else can catch it. 

Eve shoos her away with overly theatrical gestures. It still feels weird to think that people from her life will be involved in her new living arrangements and form opinions on the direction. Keiko is joking about Oksana’s appearance, but it still makes Eve smile with both nervousness and a strange sense of satisfaction. Oksana's physical appearance matters little in the overall reality, but it does give credence their late-night chats about her desires. 

***

Oksana looks like she wants to find the puppy as well, but she follows the grown-ups and Igor into the garden for lunch. Both Bill and Keiko aren't bad cooks, especially in his retirement. They have regular lunch dates with families from the support groups and possibly have almost enough food to keep Oksana happy. Eve splits her attention between making a plate for the fussy Irina and carefully watching the interactions between her future wife and one of her oldest friends. The kids will be coming around the corner and playing with the puppy (Riddle) any minute now. Igor is pretending to be too cool to play with girls, but he will weaken soon enough. 

"You look like you have the makings of a good spy, all nondescript and forgettable. I can see why Carolyn uses you to operate in the illegal rings." Oksana says casually as Igor finds a spot under the tree with his tablet. 

"It doesn't take any specialised training to know why you need a mollifying influence and artificial respectability." Bill quips back as he walks to the grill. 

"Says the man who marries a younger woman with money and has a child when he is entering the eighth decade of life. The only way you could get more cliche is you found your new lease on a family in a Geisha house or something similar." Oksana accuses while inhaling a packet of chips.

"Oksana! Stop acting like a spoiled brat with a point to prove. You are in no position to judge anyone's personal choices. Not that it matters, but both these people are my friends and not subjects for your brand of documentary-style integration." Eve scolds her firmly shooting an apologetic glance at Bill. 

"So M15 Man gets to dig into my life? It’s a one-way street, complete with Intel? How is that fair?" Oksana argues not looking remotely apologetic. 

"Deal with it, Sky Dancer," Eve says firmly shoving the younger woman towards the garden.

"Yes, dear." Oksana agrees mockingly. 

***

"I do appreciate you are looking out for me, but truly I will be okay." 

Bill acknowledges the answer but doesn't look up from watching the children playing in the garden. Oksana is signing with them, teaching the basic moves for the circus she starred in last year. None of the children has any discernible talent, but they are having fun and following Oksana’s rapid-fire signs. Keiko is there to supervise, but she doesn't look ready to intervene until limbs are in danger. Eve can't tell from this distance, but Irina seems to be taking pride in showing off her earlier lessons in dance and how awesome her 'big sister' is, Igor is trying to learn the art of a perfect handstand. He has his father's natural grace and is holding the pose of an impressively long time. 

"If it makes those kids happy and helps you into a more secure future. There are worse people you could be shackled to for the next 700 days or so. Her background check isn't the worst I've seen, and her income is almost entirely legitimate now, or consistent as this family can claim. Make sure you stick to your promise of not letting emotions get in the way." Bill insists firmly. 

Eve is under no illusions that this agreement will meet with any of the standards for her friends and work colleagues. His lukewarm acceptance means something even though he still wants to protect her on a more fundamental level. However, she was in the position to accept Carolyn's matchmaking precisely because nobody could offer the perfect solution or enough money to keep her and her parents afloat. A little heartache and discomfort will be worth that ultimate goal, especially now that Rachel has found a crisis of faith and is cooperating further. 

"Grab the key from the top drawer. It's for our place in France. If anything happens and you need to get away, use it no questions asked. We won't be taking any bookings on Airbnb for the season. Give us a few hours, and we will get our manager to stock the fridge." Bill instructs firm

"Bill..."

"Take the key Eve, if you never have to use it then give it back before Christmas, but please give this old man some reassurance here. I have more of conscience than the other people in this game of yours." 

***

_"I don't want to leave!"_

Eve follows the sound of Irina throwing a tantrum to the car at the back of the car park. Bill and his wife are in the house settling their daughters down after a long day running with new playmates. They offer to have the twins for the night, but Oksana is taking Konstantin to the hospital in the morning, and it wouldn't work in the schedule. Igor takes the news calmly, but his sister has other thoughts. In some ways, it is a good thing that she wants to spend time with her new friends, but this scene is unbecoming. Their hosts give them the courtesy of ignoring the minor dispute. 

" _You don't have a choice. We need to head home."_ Oksana signs without much patience. 

_"I'm not going!"_

" _You are about 10 years off able to have complete control of your timetable, kid. It sucks but those are the breaks, get into the car."_ Oksana insists moving to restrain the child physically. 

Eve fights the urge to rush forward and ease the tension, but she holds back. This afternoon is a relatively small example of potential conflicts if Oksana will need to learn the mechanics of negotiating this without losing her control. Irina is stiff with tension and resentment, but Oksana doesn't look ready to back down either. Oksana is forcing Irina to hold her attention and is slowing down her signing so that the girl has no excuse but to follow. 

_"I can walk to school with Emily and Rosa. All you and Eve talk about is me doing stuff on my own."_

" _Yeah, right, kid. You are originally from Moscow, you know better than to hang out of the streets on your own. You still have a night light of all things."_ Oksana makes the words seem mocking and judgement. 

_"I..."_

_"Heck, it's not the end of the world. We can come back and see these people next weekend or the weekend after. Have some dignity and save such emotional energy for something you genuinely want like a family holiday or something. Aren't the Parent Charities offering you a list?"_ Oksana points out reasonably. 

Irina scowls for a second, but she climbs into the car and clicks her belt beside her brother. Eve walks up to the younger woman offering a genuine smile. She flashes a thumbs up before heading round to the front of the car. A successful afternoon on multiple levels. 


	11. Future Complex

_How much like my brothers, do my brothers wanna be?_

_Does a broken home become another broken family?_

_Or will we be there for each other, like nobody ever could?_

_Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

_I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need_

_But it's never gonna come the way I am_

_Could I change it if I wanted, could I rise above the flood?_

_Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

_I can feel the love I want, I can feel the love I need_

_But it's never gonna come the way I am_

_Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood?_

_Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?_

_John Meyer In The Blood_

Konstantin Vasiliev doesn't trust many people or systems. 

When you grow up in a particular political period, and part of the world, mistrust isn't unnatural. Still, Konstantin takes these standards to paranoid level, even after decades outside the country in question. No matter how many borders he crosses with his professional career. Oksana likes to joke that the dancer should have stayed at the Bolshoi, but there were far better opportunities outside the homeland. He cannot claim to be the most attentive or devoted parental figure, but they are the focus of his diminishing world now. 

Carolyn may have confidence in the British legal system and their acceptance of this arrangement, but Konstantin wants a more indirect strategy. Oksana and Eve will go through as many tests as he invents between hospital visits. Igor and Irina need to be secure and safe long after this, illness claims him. There are too many horror stories about where immigrant children end up, and unscrupulous relatives may sense blood in the water and try to claim them. 

His children are going to be in pain for the rest of their lives, but at least they will not lack for material possessions and financial security. They would have educational funds and allowances that were not accessible to either the British or Russian authorities. Nobody would be foolish enough to claim a truly intimate relationship with Oksana, but he wants her to think beyond the short career of a dancer. His former protege would have zero success as a teacher or instructor. Any potential students would be fleeing back to Russia. 

His assets and wealth are safe for now. His enemies will have a waking nightmare trying to unravel all the shell companies and legitimate fronts. Several marginally talented former students will take over the studio both out of a sense of guilt (for dropping him after diagnosis) and eagerness at the instant cashflow. Konstantin isn't remotely sentimental about his life's work in that sense. His style would age eventually, and it was better to go out before people can grow tired of your legacy. Oksana would prove his best professional accomplishment despite her inability to work with anybody but him. 

***

"Test her level of sign language, adapt the hardest exam you can find."

Eve struggles to respond to the demand in a polite and respectful way. Konstantin is rapidly losing energy and strength, though thankfully he is still able to speak freely. Whenever he seeks her out for long conversions, they are usually worth having. She likes hearing the little stories about the twins as babies and connecting with him on a deeper level than the man with a paycheck. However, they have been having variations of this conversation all week. Everybody in their little circle of well-meaning deceit feels that everything hinges on Oksana displaying fluency in sign language. 

"We've gone over this before. Oksana isn't studying to become a professional interpreter or acting as a translator in a specialist field. She is perfectly fluent for the average interpreter. Nobody is going to be looking to trip her up at the first meeting. In a way, I've been testing her for months now, every time we have lessons. A formal exam is a waste of time."

"Eve..."

" Konstantin, I can force her to sit the interpreter's level exams, but she will find a way to cheat or bribe her way to the top. A grade would be meaningless. She knows enough to make this work. Besides the 'Hot For Teacher' jokes are unbearable now."

"How long are you going to be in denial that she means every word, your powers of self-deception are impressive," Konstantin replies archly. 

"No father figure wants to hear this about somebody in their lives, but Oksana flirts and swoons over every person with the right arrangements of chromosomes. We are staying firmly on one side of that particular line." Eve insists. 

"Your side of the wars always were so attached to lines of all sorts, weren't you? My original point still stands, there will be doubts enough on my decision without Oksana falling at that hurdle." 

***

"Can you cook?" 

Carolyn makes the random observation as they are both working on the accounts and household paperwork. Eve feels somewhat like a third wheel in the older woman's machine of efficiency, but somebody needs to learn this stuff in the future. Carolyn will be getting busier in the next few months with the political cycle. Konstantin is meticulous with his accounts even if not all of them contain strictly legal sources. Oksana cannot make the same claim and her tax returns look something like a nightmare for CPA School. 

"I've managed to get through entire decades without major malnutrition issues so I can feed myself without competing on _Bake Off_. Why do you ask?" 

"You need to teach Oksana to cook basic meals for the children. The recent cluster of celebrity adoptions has such routines under the spotlight. It won't do to have the three of them competing for the worse diet. Stick with the 5 or 6 main meals that Igor and Irina both like, luckily we don't have fussy vegans or anything on our hands. 

"You aren't going to turn her into a YouTube Star; you know that right?"

"That is not my intention, and you know it. All I am attempting to demonstrate is that we aren't trying to pick the children out of a 'Diversity-Are-US" Adoption catalogue. This obligation includes our prima of modern dance doing domestic tasks that may seem beneath the Great One." Carolyn stops her calculator with more force than strictly necessary.

"My aunt owns a restaurant and industrial kitchen in town. I'm sure we can wrangle a few cooking lessons if we can convince the kids to at least fake an appreciation for all things Kimchi. She is one of the few relatives who see my 'lifestyle' as a new source of gossip with little moral judgement."

***

"Learn these and ask the relevant questions."

Eve and Oksana blink at each other as Carolyn drops thick binders in front of each other them. Eve finishes her toast before reaching for the information, with a mixture of interest and curiosity. There is a considerable number of pages in each, and she has flashbacks to her days in university. Flipping through the introduction, Eve realises that it contains necessary information about Oksana in a disconcerting amount of detail. There is little about childhood (unsurprising with an orphan), but the photographs are strangely fascinating. Oksana appears positively entranced with the matching file. 

"What was your mother thinking of putting you in a year supply of homemade knitwear for one season? Children are crimes against fashion; there is no need to be extreme about such things. Your puppy was cute, though." Oksana moderates the criticism at the last minute. 

"Why are we taking trips down our respective memory lanes? There is no way they are going to quiz me on exactly how many prizes she way as a junior dancer and international student throughout Europe." Eve points at a bored Oksana on the stage, not bothering to smile for the camera. 

"Why wouldn't they? It's a glorious story of the poor orphan girl from backwater country reaching the principle of success in the lights of the big city; it's all very patriotic. Something like a modern Anastasia, the child your country is so obsessed with now." Oksana boasts without a trace of self-consciousness. 

"There may not be any need for this preparation, but it is worth having these details as references for both the authorities and Igor and Irina in the coming months," Carolyn explains in a sharp voice before they can descend into bickering. 

"Are we going to put pictures up around the house?" Oksana looks eager at the prospect. 

***

"A professional hacker is going to come and do a deep purge of all your social media and online platforms. Don't ask me what that means; I was paying limited attention." 

"By professional hacker do you mean that frightened rabbit that you bizarrely still claim as your offspring?" Oksana quips without looking remotely upset. 

"Carolyn, you do realise that there are aspects of my life that are binding in a court of law? you can't just make such undesirable things disappear." Eve points out wearily. 

Eve could still remember a time when her life was predictable and without blemish, slightly dull even. She and Niko were in different areas of education, and there was very little room for late-night parties and wild adventures. Now she will live with the reality of trying something different for the rest of her life. Eve isn't wealthy or famous enough to warrant such thing going under the rug. In the eyes of her family at any event. Kenny may be a brilliant kid, but there are limits to what he can achieve. 

"I could offer my son his entire trust fund on a platter, and he wouldn't tamper with official records again. He still hasn't forgiven me for that one time in Prague with the Polish Ambassador. There will be nothing morally or legally suspect." 

Eve scrolls through the Instagram feeds, and Tweets in question, looking at the things that Carolyn wants to change or delete entirely. In her example, there isn't much material to work with, her relationship with such platforms are apathetic at best. There are guidelines for such content when you are both a professional interpreter in government circles and somebody facing legal proceedings. Oksana has many followers in different areas, and the new connections to Rachel's world could be useful down the line. 

"You might need to get the vapors ready if he truly is doing a deep dive onto some of my accounts, it might be character building for the little fool. " Oksana advises with a mixture of laughter and scorn. 

"Kenny will survive, but just don't be surprised if you start following new people and organisations, with common interests."

***

"You need to spend time together with and without the children. The social workers will observe routines."

Oksana looks like she is ready to mount an almost instinctive protest, but she shakes her head sharply. Surprisingly she settles down and gives Carolyn what passes for her full attention. Eve absently wonders just how much extra time they are meant to spend together. Oksana is offering *knowledgeable* opinions on her grocery choices, for heck sake. At the same time arrangements are made with far shakier foundations. Unlike her relationship with Niko and her disapproving in-laws, there won't be a persistent but unspoken effort to change each other. If anything Eve knows she judges the younger woman more critically than is strictly necessary. 

When Carolyn Martins gets on a roll like this, all you can do is listen and agree now or be worn down into compliance later. Whatever her complicated relationship with Konstantin and Russia in general, Eve's former boss takes to this set up like she does a political rally to win the love of the people. Neither Eve or Oksana is ideal subject matter for such an undertaking, but Carolyn is up for the challenge and the unreasonable timeframe. The notion that Oksana will ever submit to anything close to a routine is laughable on multiple levels, but at least she is emerging from her room before midday now. 

"We have been over this many times, are you getting senile in your old age, Carolyn? That could be dangerous considering how many lives you are trying to control." Oksana quips, without looking up from her magazine.

"Never underestimate the streak of conservatism that beats in the heart of many British public servants. They won't question your signing credentials but they may query the long term stability of these interactions if you can't interact with the children comfortably. There isn't a single script that the officials will follow. We need to prove that the unconventional can be a workable option in this case."

"So what is on our itinerary? Storytime at the library or frolicking in the park with a bunch of far less interesting eight-year-old children?" Oksana summarises knowingly.

"I'm glad you asked, I sent timetables to each of your phones. Eve will be working in the school environment with Irina, and you will go out together as a group in the afternoon and evening. There is nothing too taxing, but such events will serve multiple purposes." Carolyn agrees without the slightest self-consciousness. 

Two unspoken needs to weigh heavily in the air, but nobody in the room mentions them no matter how difficult. These outings and every day integrations into routines will serve as stress tests to see where the potential problems may be that no amount of preparation can prepare Oksana or Eve encounter. As Eve predicts in the beginning, Igor and Irina are in something of an idealistic holiday phase with all these attentions and new people. Things will start to look different now. There is also an increasing need for Konstantin to receive medical intervention and have serious conversations with his doctors. He steadfastly wants to protect his kids from the worst of these realities when there is nothing they can do about it. There was no point in debating the finer points of parenting with a stubborn former Russian spy. 

***

"Are you nervous, or were you just trying to mimic a spider monkey?" 

Eve comments as she enters the dance studio watching Oksana swing to, what seems to her, dangerous heights. A friend of the family owns the dance-gymnastics place and Oksana trains there multiple times a week now that her schedule is less erratic. Eve tries not to think of the last time she was here and Oksana's jerky fake proposal. She is feeling in a much better psychological place and refuses to let the memory haunt her too much. Oksana is going to be an insensitive player throughout this arrangement, that didn't mean it needed to end in tears. 

"Why would I be nervous?" Oksana asks in genuine curiosity. 

"Because Carolyn and Konstantin are turning our lives into Operation Valkyrie or something, complete with intelligence briefings and semi-legal White Hat hacking. You wouldn't be human if you weren't feeling something at least." Eve points out, leaning against the wall. 

"I could give you a long line of ex-girlfriends or hook-ups who claim that I don't any humanity left. Don't worry, Eve, we will get through their ridiculous tests and I can already recite how many curls on your head." Oksana points out while swinging to the next grip. 

"Way to sound creepy and stalker-like. Try not to lead with that particular detail we were a recounting our love story to the fictitious future grandchildren." Eve advises with a dry laugh. 

Oksana scrambles down the silk ropes. Eve can practically feel the robe burns to bite into the younger woman's skin, just like last time Oksana ignores little mortal things like pain and the fragility of human skin. Eve can't find a distinction between showing off and genuine athletic ability. Eve waits until Oksana towels off and hunts for her water bottle before coming over. 

"Olga is cooking your favourite meatballs and wants you home. I am summoning you back before she gets into a full range of outrage. The twins want to get your opinion on ice cream flavours for dessert. They want to have a competition again. There is no need to take them up on that last one; I don't wish to have three hyperactive students on our little field trips." 

"You'll have us in line soon enough. Ice cream is no match for super teacher Eve." Oksana disagrees as she washes the remnants of gripping power. 

Eve gestures vaguely at the silks hanging from the ceiling, trying not to get distracted by the heights and potential dangers. The gym is a safe and reputable business. It's unlikely that Oksana will be following any of the safety protocols at this time of night. For all Eve knows her companion breaks into the place and steals the thrills on the equipment. The thick foam mats don't seem nearly sturdy enough to soften that distance. 

"Please don't become one of those David Blaine characters who walk between buildings on a wire with no net or volunteer to perform ballet through a live minefield. The momentary thrill would give me a significant headache when explaining your untimely demise." Eve pleads, only half-joking. 

"There is a certain appeal to the whole blaze of glory destruction concept," Oksana muses in a deliberately provocative tone. 

"But there is no appeal in finding words in BSL to say " _SkyDancer falling to the ground,"_ Eve says and signs the words simultaneously with a huff of frustration. 

"Don't worry Dearest; I will have all my limbs and bones for the wedding photos. If you are offering different ways for me to relieve the unbelievable stress of being Carolyn's lapdog, then I wouldn't be against that notion." 

Oksana's flirting with her is almost reflective and doesn't bother Eve nearly as much anymore unless the words centre around a specific topic or incident, even then the pain is less daunting. What is more interesting to Eve is why Oksana is saying the words in the first place, often they are to divert the conversation from a more uncomfortable or intimate topic. For somebody who is so open with sex and sexuality it wouldn’t take long for her to realise that she could use other people’s fears and insecurities against them. Eve finds herself enjoying the puzzle and learning the new language.

“I’m sure you can make braces and bandages look like a fashion statement, Oksana.”


	12. Present Continuous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know much about British adoption process - I'm working on the presumption that it takes careful consideration and work by everyone involved. In this chapter the interviews happen, Oksana is a queen and watches.

"There are more conventional placements we can explore for your children Mr. Vasiliev, without losing their connection to Miss Astankova. Our team actively encourages maintaining preexisting relationships."

Konstantin is not a patient person, especially when it comes to the world of civil servants. None more so the ones that he cannot easily bribe. If he wants to build a world for Irina and Igor without the threat of an angry Mother Russia, then he needs the cooperation of the Crown. The long illness and failing body (always a challenge for a proud former agent) drains all but the barest civility, but he musters the energy for these interviews. 

"I have not found the conventional path serves me well in any area of my life, much less that of my children. Do you have any idea what happens to deaf children in the remoter parts of my country?" 

"We are not challenging your decision making; our job is to present you with options that are available to you and guide you through the different stages, whatever the outcome." 

"Oksana will do what needs doing to provide for my children. Don't bother presenting me with profiles of wholesome couples who immigrated from the Motherland; let them take the ones from the orphanages. There is nobody better for them, especially Rini. She will need the grit to survive in a world that does not believe she is equal to the task of living. Oksana will make her strong and able to roll with the punches."

***

The social workers and support staff are swimming in a sea of good kind of paperwork. 

Carolyn Martins and Konstantin Vasiliev know little about the adoption process in Europe and a post-Brexit Britain, but they are both experts at making a case. The former lovers develop a system for going through the piles of paperwork and questionnaires in the morning when he is well and feeling the most energetic. All the groundwork that Eve and Oksana have done over last weeks and months is paying off. There is a demonstratable connection between Oksana, the twins and new routine that will not include their father. 

Eve supposes that there is no way that Carolyn Martens will risk her reputation in a dodgy adoption that cut corners. The scandals of the past (especially the ones tied to Romania and Russia) are fresh people's minds. There is no one anyone wants the image of two strained orphans (with special needs) on the front of every newspaper. Both sides of the political aisle are looking for an excuse to blame each other for the failing immigration policy. 

"Are you 100% positive there are not relatives either here or in Russia who would want some input into the placement, Igor and Irina. Our records indicate that there are both maternal and paternal aunts and uncles?" one of the agents asks, gesturing to the file.

"My family haven't spoken to me since the collapse of the Berlin Wall. Their mother's family disowned her for running away with a man from the circus. There is no shortage of children for them to worry about back home, two won't go astray." Konstantin insists firmly. 

Wisely the two workers leave that line of questioning alone for now and move on to his wishes when he enters hospital-level care. The agency isn't there only to talk about the guardianship question. They have experience in supporting families who will have parents in hospice care. 

***

_"_ Why am I doing this Evie?" 

Eve knows she was running a risk getting an old friend to do the assessments with Irina and reporting back to the agency. Strictly speaking, she is well within her rights and current position to make the judgement call. Irina is adjusting well into the new school system and making measurable progress with the extracurricular programmes. Working with Bill, Keiko, and their daughters are improving her social skills as well. Eve suspects she has developed Carolyn Martens Trust Syndrome. She doesn't want any hint of her court issues or the eventual marriage to taint the nuts and bolts of this assessment. 

"Your accreditations are more specialised than me, and if we get an unfriendly judge, there won't be any hint of conflict. Besides, this last year has done a number on my professional confidence too.” 

Eve doesn't feel too much guilt in manipulating the younger woman, who is more of a colleague than a truly close friend. Her words are entirely truthful, but Eve finds that people are less willing to question when it comes to her private disasters. The British reserve is useful for a few things at least. 

"Don't play legal semantics with me. You have enough legal power and sweat equity behind this adoption to sail through the process with your initial report. While technically true about my qualification, it shouldn't make a difference in the longer term. There must be some other reason to need the appearance of independence?" Kelly speculates with something before curiosity and concern in her voice. 

"My connection with Irina and this family is unconventional; it wouldn't be difficult to challenge my decision, if people want to question, Oksana." 

“Or your connection with a woman seems to be flirtation incarnate?” the other woman asks without judgement.

“Something like that. It’s just better that somebody else to the initial paperwork for now, she’s a good kid you won’t have any trouble.”

***

"Irina is too quiet, and Igor is far too serious, we can balance each other out." 

Oksana answers the question without hesitation, and she doesn't appear the slightest bit nervous. Eve feels relatively confidant that she can read the younger woman's body language, yet she is still difficult to judge during the interview. A conservative pencil suit is offset by bright dangly earrings and heels that are an almost neon shade of pink. If Oksana is playing the role of a dutiful big sister then it seems to be working, she isn't hiding from her past or the relationships, but she is taking the duty seriously. 

"Had you discussed the placement of his children before Mr. Vasiliev’s life-limiting diagnosis?" 

"Men like Konstantin have the ego to think they are going to live forever or at least find a young dance groupie to cater to their every need, including children. When that was no longer a possibility, of course, we talked about the future. He didn't want any state involvement, and as a former ward of the glorious motherland, I wasn't going to disagree." Oksana explains with uncharacteristic patience in her tone. 

"Did you feel coerced into accepting his proposal? By the prospect of few options and your experiences with state care?" the younger social worker asks. "It's not uncommon for individuals with your background to develop strong feelings about the fate of children in the future. The system is far from perfect, but I can assure you there are far better safeguards in place, especially with the financial previsions..."

"You mean that the glorious West is a far kinder place than her old Cold wWar foe and that the trust fund will soften the heart of even the most cynical foster parent?" Oksana translates with a challenging note in her tone. 

_"Oksana!"_ Carolyn rebuked sharply in Russian.

***

_"Do you understand why we are all here today, Irina?"_

_"To talk about what happens to Igor and me when Daddy dies."_

It takes all over Eve's self-control not to grin widely at Irina’s response. Technically speaking, she isn't here to participate or to interfere in Kelly's work. Irina hasn't registered her presence in the back of the room. However, seeing Irina willing to interact with a stranger so easily is a positive sign. She may not want to engage outside a select group of people, but the fact she now has the option is the most important thing. 

_"Yes, that's pretty much right. I am a friend of Eve, and we are going to talk about how you are doing in your lessons. My name is Kelly, and I am going to translate for you and ask a few questions about the signing, is that ok?"_ Kelly keeps her movements slow and even. 

_"Eve is a great teacher; there is no need to change."_ Irina signs the words so rapidly she almost merges the signs. 

" _Woah, Irina nobody is saying Eve isn't doing a great, we aren't to force anything, least of all changing your tutor. Eve is wonderful, especially her veggie noodles."_ Kelly tries to joke soothingly. 

Eve feels her heart swell at Irina's fierce defence of their arrangement at teaching sessions. However, the faith of a child increases the pressure to make this work. Ever since the situation with Rachel, Eve prides herself on living a nomadic lifestyle, especially when it comes to her emotional attachments. Whatever happens with Konstantin and Oksana, she will keep the connection with these children. 

" _Good. The last tutor from Poland was very boring and didn't talk about anything but grammar and style. She was a nightmare."_ Irina shudders theatrically. 

Eve will always be on the childrens’ sides in most things, but she suspects they were little terrors. She vaguely knows the interpreter originally from Poland, and she isn't a bad person, simply exacting gin her standards. The twins would make short work of such a person. 

***

"Nobody else wants us; everybody hates Dad, and we are the circus freaks, who would want the deaf kid and her dumb brother."

Most people would wince at such blunt language, but social workers and protection officers are different breed entirely. There is very little about watching children think and experience that can or does shock them. The people with too much empathy do not last long. The trick is not to rush in and reassure the child with false promises or perspective but to reframe their thinking. After all its entirely possible that Igor is simply repeating what some of his relatives say regularly. It amazes Eve how willingly people speak in front of children as if they aren't in the room. 

"Igor, feeling a wide range of emotions, including rejection, is perfectly ok. However, please don't talk about yourself like that, your teachers say you are adjusting well and work hard to look after your sister. You are neither _dumb_ nor a _freak._ I see a young man who is facing great challenges." 

"We are here to support you and Irina through this time and help you decide what is best in the coming weeks, does that sound ok?" 

Igor shrugs, possibly trying to mimic his father's more intimidating mannerisms. There was considerable about of persuasion even to get him to agree to the meeting. He was developing the worrying belief, everything was happening for the sake of Irina, and he will go along for the ride as always. Strictly speaking, he wasn't wrong, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have agency in the situation. Going forward, the twins will have separate interviews. 

"You like the idea of staying with Oksana and continuing your work with Eve and your father's friends?" 

"Yeah. Eve is good with Rini and is teaching us all to sign way better, and she knows loads of stuff that she will need to do in the future, sometimes Rini is lazy about speaking because she knows that I will always be there to translate. Father wants us to make our way like he did, even though we aren't in Russia anymore." Igor continues softly sounding out each word of the phrase. 

"What about Oksana specifically?" 

"She is fun and one of the few adults who is _always_ in our lives in one form or another. The only other people were nannies and tutors, but it's not the same. Oksana gave me great ideas for getting my last baby tooth and getting the most money out of my father. She gave us the best birthday last year when the kids from the local homeschooling place were sitting around awkwardly because it was a pity party. There were backflips and fire." Igor continues warming to the topic. 

Eve has to smile at the imagery of Oksana's particular brand of grown-up intervention. Extorting money from the imaginary tooth fairy and riling up shy children in defence of Irina sounds exactly like her. Her actions are not the classic actions of a future guardian, but they did make the difference at the time. Finding her an older 'wife' is an effort to soften the more reckless impulses. Eve doesn't think she will succeed half the time, but at least the children will experience things in way Konstantin wishes. 

"Thank you for talking to us Igor, I hope you enjoy the show later in the week." The senior social worker says kindly. 

Eve glowers at their retreating backs, even with all her experience in reading body language as her profession, she cannot judge the outcome of the meeting. Social workers were even more skilful than some politicians at not giving the game away. At least Igor seems happy that his first part in this is over and he gives Eve a beaming smile before rushing off to play. 

***

"Do you think they brought it?" 

Eve shuffles over on the bench to make room for Oksana as she hands over a giant mug of coffee. They have just dropped the twins off at school. Neither of them has anywhere urgent to be so are naturally enough deconstructing the week's meetings and the success and failure rate. Konstantin seems happy, but the only way to know is to review the questions that they come up with in the next round. Irina and Igor do not look the worse for the experience, which is a primary concern. 

"If by brought it you mean they began the long process of deciding the future for the twins, then yes our little operation was a success. Thanks in no small part to Carolyn's obsession with record keeping and the army of paralegals she may or may not keep in the basement." Eve clarifies before drinking coffee. 

"You use too many words, Eve. That's what I said. "

"I translate other people's words for a living and rarely use my own; maybe I am having my Oprah moment of discovering the truth." Eve shrugs a little self-consciously. 

"Well, whatever you said to Irina was genius. She was acting like a semi-functional mini human for three hours straight. Your colleagues gave her a passing grade with flying colours. They don't need to know she is a reclusive hermit most of the time." Oksana continues her commentary while eating doughnuts as if they are going out of style. 

"For the last time Irina _is_ a perfectly functional child, she just needs help, stop using that language.”

"Will you withhold coffee and sugar from me if I don't follow instructions, Miss Eve?" Oksana asks affecting an air of innocence with chilling accuracy. 

"Hardly, I think your body would go into some version of toxic shock withdrawal if anybody did that." 

"Denial has never been my strong suit." Oksana agrees amicably. 

***

Eve has a date with Oksana for the evening. 

Strictly speaking, she is escorting the twins to see Oksana perform with her modern dance troop, who are doing the child-friendly show. Irina and Igor have experience with their father's work but still seem eager for the night out with Eve. Of course, that could have something to do with the junk food at half-time and the reduction in homework and signing lessons. Eve still finds herself scrutinising her appearance in the fall length mirror, wearing the jewellery and dress that Oksana selected last weekend. 

_"You want to look pretty for Oksana."_

Rather disconcerting. Irina poses the phrase as more of a statement than a question. She is more familiar and comfortable backstage than Eve can hope to be; her charge moves around the lighting and floor markings without hesitation. They are wandering backstage to wish Oksana luck before the beginning of the show. It's not that customary for smaller regional productions, but Oksana is the star demanding attention almost everywhere. Igor is chatting happily to one of the road crew who used to work for Konstantin. The logistics and hectic pace are impressive to witness up close and help explain Oksana's behaviour somewhat. Eve suspects she will be playing escort duty for many shows and for once the chore doesn't seem daunting. 

_"Hush you, I do own more than the comfy pants and tee-shirts that you see me in."_ Eve insists, flushing with embarrassment as she pushes the child gently. 

Oksana's dressing room doesn't warrant the term, but there are a mirror, desk and the correct lighting. Eve watches as the woman in question carefully applies makeup. Her outfit is magical (it fits with show theme). She is playing Titania, Queen of the Fairies, in Shakespeare's _A Midsummer's Night's Dream_ or a dance interpretation.Garlands of flowers are in long blond hair that reaches past her shoulders. The costume designer has gone to town with the power of his or her degree. A pair of elaborate but paper-thin wings are resting next to the queen in waiting. They glimmer a beguiling array of colours which entrance Irina. The benefit of this place is that it is extremely visual and there is plenty for deaf children to enjoy. 

_"I[f] we shadows have offended,_

_Think but this, and all is mended,_

_That you have but slumber'd here,_

_While these visions did appear,_

_And this weak and idle theme,_

_No more yielding, but a dream."_

Eve blinks in surprise at the stream of Shakespeare coming from Oksana as their eyes meet in the shiny mirror. Her eyes look vaguely mesmerising with the dramatic makeup and daunting amount of multicolour glitter. Irina is sitting in the second chair, watching the headrests and wings and tracing them gently. Eve moves over and stands next to her, not wanting any destruction in this room before the big show. 

"I'm afraid to say my knowledge of the bard is limited to high school and several unenthusiastic papers in undergrad. You look spectacular, though, giving your make up appreciation fully reign. Did the team use all twenty of your favourite shade palates?" Eve teases gently, gesturing vaguely. 

"This production is nothing. You should have seen the budgets the Americans put together before their economy started to falter. It's still fun though; the children love the dancing though. I just wish you could see me putting my skills to the test." Oksana offers suggestively. 

"There will be other opportunities, Sky Dancer. The twins love your shows, mainly for the free junk food, but the principle is still the same."

"Will you give me a kiss for good luck?" Oksana asks softly. 

"I'll mess up your expensive looking makeup. and besides, you could do these moves in your sleep." Eve scoffs 

Still, on impulse, she leans forward and places a soft kiss on the taller woman's cheek. She is careful to avoid the most intricate makeup and glitter. Oksana's breath hitches mid-word and Eve feels a thrill of triumph at the power over this maverick creature who does more than play the queen who defies gravity. 


	13. Past Imperfect: Tell Me What I See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do a realistic portrayal of Niko and Eve. Let me know what you think.

_Hey, sometimes it's good and sweet_

_Hey, sometimes it's searching to a bit of faith_

_But when it comes to you, when it comes to me_

_Love and misery look the same_

_But it ain't our fault_

_We're just sugar and salt_

_Believe me, hun, we thought'd be a piece of cake_

_Now we spend our whole lives tryin' to acquire the taste_

_Of something that is always bound to change_

_But giving up this love would go against the grain_

_Go against the grain_

"Eve, some Polish guy is waiting at reception for you."

The young production assistant runs off before Eve can seek further clarifying details. Her presence backstage is a regular occurrence, and the crew are comfortable with the routine for the show's newest star. Irina and Igor have seen the dance production of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ several times now, but they still ask to go along. Eve suspects it has more to do with avoiding the doctors at home than an abiding love of the Bard. The eight-week timeline is a wise decision, and it's unlikely that Konstantin will manage the full night without oxygen. He won't want to miss a second of the festivities with the twins having a moment to shine. 

Oksana's colleagues are learning sign language (with varying degrees of success and aptitude. Irina enjoys being back in the semi-familiar realm of the stage. A confrontation with any of the Polish men she knows my jeopardise this fragile peace, and she doesn't want to distract Oksana from the show. The dancer in question would be offended at the notion of needing such consideration, but Eve feels the responsibility anyway. She can claim too many public confrontations to her name without adding more _before_ the fake wedding. 

"Can you watch out for Igor and Irina for me? I'll be back in a while." 

The children in question are too distracted by the electronics to protest that they don't need watching. Eve does a quick scan of Oksana's dressing room to make sure there aren't too many piles of junk food. She learns to do this after the first two visits when Igor and Irina gorge themselves. Oksana, of course, finds the situation hilarious. The only thing she says by way of censure is to scold them for not being able to hold their sugar. The resulting signing exchange was equal parts chaotic and fascial, Oksana stops laughing when the vomit gets close to her fairy wings. 

"Of course, I'm free until the second act. We can work together on the Minecraft treehouse." one of the interns agrees enthusiastically. 

***

Strangely seeing Niko Polastri waiting for her in the lobby is relief rather than a disappointment. 

They may not share the same last name or any legal ties anymore but Eve knows this man better than just about anyone. While the marriage was problematic with appalling conflicts, the love was genuine, and she can handle whatever he is here to say. Niko's father makes no secret of his relief that his son is 'free' and always found Eve a bizarre choice. It's a similar story with his uncles and cousins. Their mutual friends are staunchly on his side and make no secret of the fact, if she was going to have a conversation with any 'Polish Men' in her life, then she wants to deal directly with Niko. There are too much rumor and innuendo between them. In some ways, the meeting is long overdue. The mission was to create some legitimacy to her relationship with Oksana amongst her friends. It would be naive to think that such information wouldn't get back to Niko in some shape or form. 

"Hi Niko, what are you doing here?"

"My girlfriend Sarah and her son enjoy the children's theatre, and she adores Shakespeare." Niko offers while clutching a programme awkwardly. 

There is no sense in pretending that a family trip is the only reason. The is a hit with children and well-reviewed by critics, but it is not the only one in London. Oksana properly tagged them in a photo for the night. It wouldn't be difficult for Niko to find her should that be his goal. Their divorce was as clean as uneven heartbreak can be. There are only a few topics that could bring him here now. 

"Is there are a problem with the final paperwork for your Nan?" Eve asks, grasping for one of their few remaining neutral topics. 

Niko shakes his head and gestures vaguely for them to go somewhere private. Wherever Sarah and her son are they don't merit consideration in a moment. Eve silently curses whichever indiscreet person has made a passing comment assuming Niko must know and be fine with it. There is a world of difference between not protesting and accepting a situation completely. Niko will never be a violent, bitter man, but her decision hurt him deeply. The new identity thing is the least of his difficulties. 

***

"This stuff isn't as strong as your beloved Polish tar blend, but it's almost powerful enough to have the same organ-twisting effect." 

Eve takes Niko a few doors down from the theatre; he follows her without protest, which is a good sign. If he wanted to yell and scream at her for being so foolish, there were plenty of opportunities in the rapidly-filling lobby. Eve's Polish is almost fluent, but a little rusty and that wouldn't be the place to try it out. Luckily there is a private corner in the back, and none of the wait staff knows her that evening. The twins will be safe backstage playing games with the assistants. Despite their relatively young age, they are both clambering for more independence, and this will be a good opportunity. If there are any problems, she is only a text away. 

"Just tea, thanks. Sarah has me down for one cup a day, something about the toxic effects as we age." Niko differs quickly. 

Eve doesn't do a particularly good job of hiding her surprise, but she dutifully orders them drinks. For a long time, Niko was an unchangeable constant in her life. Unfairly, he was almost her safety net, knowing that he would take her back in an instant. The realisation that he is moving on and there are facts that she will never know hurts but is still for the better. 

"What the hell are you doing with this woman, Eve?"

Niko quickly slides his mobile phone over the table. Eve loathes small talk with a passion and has even less talent for the practice. However, that doesn't mean she wants to get to the point of this visit so quickly. A few minutes talking about respective parents wouldn't harm them. Reluctantly she swipes through the photos and screenshots. They are the predictable array of shots of Oksana with plenty of women were clothing is optional. Her social media posts are indiscreet and tactless at best. This intel grab is done before Kenny did his deep dive to make things more accessible. 

"The play is decent and a great modern adaptation. If we can hurry, you'll catch the best parts with your girlfriend. The kids love it when Puck comes into the scene." Eve tries to divert the conversation quickly. 

"Eve, take this conversation seriously..." 

"Come on! What precisely is the threat for consideration? Even if all this information was new to me, which it isn't. There is no need for you to come sweeping in to make the situation better." 

"I care about you; official divorce papers aren't going to change that, I've known you more of my adult life than not. It's the same reason you still have Polish alerts on your phone for my aunts." Niko hisses out in an angry sigh as if this is obvious. 

"Tender feelings does not excuse going through the same cycle of mistake and rescue. We can be ex who doesn't react _War of the Roses_ without ending in the same space. Neither of us can afford the years worth of therapy bills.” 

***

Eve's one resolution in this conversation was not lying to her ex-husband. 

She is well within her rights as a former wife to let his mind race with speculation and insist he goes away and makes nice with a new relationship. For all Eve's failings as a wife, she wasn't a deliberate jerk. Niko Polastri deserves to hear some level of explanation at least and watch her body language in the way that only past relationships can offer. 

"Look Niko, I don't want to go into detail, but Oksana is in no danger of breaking my heart. Carolyn Martens could give the Home Secretary a run for his money in terms of intelligence briefings. If there were stones to upturn, I have them in high resolution and definition. " Eve begins carefully

"You are dating a woman half your age who makes no secret of seeing new women every month or so, not to mention the ties to the shadiest oligarchy." Niko objects with a huff of exasperation. 

"Those tabloid articles aren't nearly so accurate, Oksana needs at least some time to practice and sleep to reach the heights of a dance career. The Russian training protocol almost justifies the reputation for ruthlessness. I'm well aware of who she is and her conquests." Eve insists firmly draining the last sip of tea. 

"A friend in the department of justice..." Niko begins

Eve draws in a deep breath and holds up and hand to forestall any future comments. One of the primary reasons that their relationship failed was Niko's desire to protect his wife from all the hurts in the world. A career as a professional interpreter wasn't remotely dangerous, but it did require plenty of travel, and this moment feels like his endless worrying when she is shadowing Carolyn. 

"Whatever Oskar, did or did not find, I can handle my life now, Niko, with all its scrapes and damages."

"Like you you dealt with the kleptomaniac artist?" Niko asks sharply, but he doesn't have the vicious streak to make the words truly affectively. 

"Even if I were to end up in courts or a laughing stock on social media again, it wouldn't be any of your concern. I know 10x as much information that is on your phone. We are entering a mutually beneficial arrangement, complete with all the darkness." Eve isn't nearly as confident as she sounds, but the show will have to suffice. 

Niko looks genuinely stricken at the comment. Eve can almost see his hope die, despite the new relationship. He genuinely wants to rescue her from the situation beyond his control. Eve refuses to back down and understands the pain she is inflicting, but this progress is the next step. In a similar way that is talking to her parents and Bill, letting Niko know about this relationship needed to happen sooner or later. 

***

"I thought you didn't want children; now you are living permanently with twins and a woman half your age?" Niko asks before staring into his second cup. 

Just like the situation with Bill and Keiko, the question takes Eve off guard, but it shouldn't have. They have done such a convincing job of explaining the arrangement to those people in each other's lives that sometimes it's hard to remember an outsider's view. While it will always feel strange to class Niko in such terms, the point remains the same. To most people that knew her five years ago, the idea of willingly entering a relationship that involves children or with an age gap would seem foolish. On paper, Oksana Astankova is everything that somebody who spends her life in the background should rally against in principle. There are still days when she feels out of her depth. Eve maintains she doesn't owe Niko any explanation. Months of therapy and countless lectures from an increasingly impatient Carolyn ensures that she is slowly regaining some level of dignity and pride back. Following out of love with Niko Polastri was unfortunate, but it wasn’t a crime. 

"It's more complicated than that and not at all a matter of me _wanting children._ Please don't think I lied to you about that particular aspect, Niko. Konstantin Vasiliev needed a private tutor for his daughter. Oksana will retain guardianship and needed similar support. The rest of it simply happened without any grand seduction on her part." Eve’s words have the advantage of being true. 

"There is a long way between teaching and playing family with her, Eve. We are both in education and know exactly what young woman or men say with besotted lecturers. The dynamics are a train wreck." Niko points out gruffly. 

"It's not such a radical leap as you might think, even if it would, please don't worry about me. The power dynamic isn't anything like the disasters you are referring to, for one thing, there is no power at play, on either side. " Eve says without much hope that Niko will agree. 

The truth is the only person with durable power in this situation is Carolyn Martens, who doesn't want anything other than seeing her friend and former lover die peacefully. Oksana _could_ hurt her if feelings were in play and the younger woman didn't have (almost) an equal amount to lose. It was inaccurate to say that Oksana was too worldly to be taken advantage of or to take power in the way Niko fears, but the situation is not the same. The one thing Oksana Astankova does with any consistency is to manipulate women with a near degree of openness. 

"Niko, one of your greatest frustrations with me during our marriage was how crap I was at diverting from a chosen path, reckless work, travel, poor social skills. Do you honestly think that having the same situations at this point go any better? You aren't due for any grey in that beard quite yet." 

Niko doesn't have a response to that, either witty or angry. Eve hates the way his big frame collapses in on itself and loathes even more that she is uniquely talented at provoking such a response. In the close to 20 years that they have known each other there are more memories than not which are wonderful and companionable. If only they didn't try and take the 'next logical step' into marriage and let their dating devolve into friendship. 

"If you ever need help or your dancer turns out half as evil..." Niko begins a final time. 

"You wouldn't be even in the top 50 of people I call, and that's going to be painful for us both but better in the long run. Now go and buy Sarah some overpriced merch and ask about her favourite part of the play." Eve instructs with true gentleness in her voice. 

***

"It was shorter than usual with your adoring public, losing your touch, Sky Dancer?" 

The contrast between Oksana in street clothes and the elaborate Titania makeup still catches Eve off guard, even though both fit the taller woman well. There is always a sheen of glitter in her hair and lips glow with the faintest trace of silver gloss. If the nightly performances are taking their toll, no one would never know it from her demeanour. Eve finds the series of late nights on top of the move and life adjustment far more challenging, which is understandable. Despite their protests, Igor and Irena went home soon after the final curtain. 

"Most of my 'public' are under the age of ten with boring suburban parents. How late did you think we were going to be? How was your time with Niko? did he come bearing memories and offkey loves ballads?" Oksana manages to put far too much scorn into that scenario while keeping her face blank. 

Eve takes several moments before responding. While she still keeps Oksana away from too many aspects of her personal life before Rachel, this time feels different, and they are moving closer to the wedding and the proof of concept for this arrangement. Eve is under no illusions that she left the conversation with Niko on peaceful terms, but with any luck, he will remain angry at her foolishness rather than genuinely frightened for a person he still loves. Sometimes having a relationship that bares all the all hallmarks of a midlife crisis has advantages in terms of optics. 

"Hardly, more like a chapter and verse rendition of your crimes against common decency. We still have some friends in common, and the line of questioning was too easy to pass up. It's possible if not likely that he thinks I am an imposter suddenly beset with a desire for youth and rampaging maternal instinct." Eve clarifies quickly. 

"Is he going to object at the wedding, complete with wildflowers and the obligatory memory that only the two of you share?" Oksana presses as their Uber arrives. 

"Look at you watching hetero normative trope movies for frames of reference. Niko doesn't want any more public humiliation on account of my preferences and choices." Eve comments with a mocking shrug. 

"Good. If you are going to leave me at the alter in some dramatic fashion, at least aim your standards higher, by which I mean gayer. There is no way you would make a convincing renter into the closet, not with your particular set of kinks...including." Oksana begins with theatrical suggestiveness. 

"Not the place to speculate on your wildly inaccurate beliefs about my desires, Oksana. Try to hold on to that queenly aurora that the children so admire you for, at least for a few hours." Eve shushes glancing at the Uber driver with apprehension. 

" _We could always talk like this..."_ Oksana signs slowly. 

Eve shrugs against the young woman playfully. One of the tricks she learns when dealing with Oksana is not giving in to her persistent desire for shocking banter. She does not doubt that her future wife has an encyclopedic knowledge of her more sapphic desires, but she doesn't need to listen to them. 


	14. Continuous: Lonely Pilgram

_What a woman like you_

_Is doing with me_

_So tell me who I see_

_When I look in your eyes_

_Is that you, baby_

_Or just a brilliant disguise?_

_Now look at me, baby_

_Struggling to do everything right_

_And then it all falls apart_

_When out go the lights_

_I'm just a lonely pilgrim_

_I walk this world in wealth_

There are acceptable ways to desire Oksana Astankova. 

Eve isn't naive enough to think that she will remain objective when it comes to her future (fake) wife. Carolyn Martens didn't devise this strategy out of thin air. Eve was conveniently placed as desperate, bisexual and fluent in sign language. However. These facts wouldn't matter if there weren't the ability to pull off the notion of both chemistry and commitment convincingly. She and Oksana were walking the metaphorical version of the tight rope that the dances use every few months. Oksana makes her desire and attraction obvious in her every move and gesture. 

Sometimes Eve wishes she still has the invisible line of 'needing to focus on work' or 'having to deal with lawyers' to hide behind. Carolyn makes abundantly clear her role and priority, for the time being, is creating a happy and stable home for the twins. Avoiding Oksana isn't practical, and the more time she spends with the woman arguing over everything from chocolate mousse to the fate of the Czech Republic, the less those personal boundaries seem to be. There is a slow burn of physical attraction that simmers the closer they get to the wedding. 

Indulging in a night or two of meaningless sex would solve one problem but only create an impossible impasse. 

The chances are high that Oksana will lose interest in this game of flirtation if Eve does accept the proposition. The younger woman enjoys the hunt of the chase more than the actual sex or potential relationship. Everything becomes too mundane without the element of uncertainty. Eve doesn't think her pride resilient enough to face her casual dismissal. There is a whole new vocabulary for non-monogamous relationships, but Eve doesn't feel confident in facing such a new reality. Oksana will do whatever she pleases once the wedding, and check-ins, are over but Eve doesn't want to face bed mate competition. 

"We are meeting your parents this week? What kind of daughter in law should I make myself into for them? The lovesick devotee or perfect prima ballet complete with the hair?” Oksana asks seriously, gazing at herself critically in the mirror. 

"Don't bother with the pretence. It’s the first part that my family will object to, not whatever your career options. Just sit there and eat the rice and meat selections." Eve instructs firmly. 

"Do you like what you see?"

There isn't Oksana's usual mix of arrogance and manipulation in the question. She seems genuinely interested in the answer and doesn't even tease Eve about staring. For several long minutes, they simply watch each other in the reflection; it's almost like the moments backstage as she gets ready for the play. Oksana has a fairly elaborate beauty regime daily, complete with foundations and shelves of makeup. Dance cosmetics and theatrical powders can be harsh on the skin, so she is methodical in putting them on and taking them off. 

"You haven't gotten any less attractive in the last 24 hours, Oksana. There is no need to go fishing for compliments. I'm running late to see my parents, and you are helping Irina with her assignment."

"That didn't answer my question, nor was it a rebuttal." Oksana points out speculatively. 

"That wasn't even a question, Pointdexter."

***

Her parents will never approve of Oksana or their connection. The sad thing is Eve is starting to miss their constant worrying and fusing. 

It's odd the aspects of a former life that start to haunt the present. One of the primary reasons that Eve agrees to this arrangement is to provide security for her family. At the same time, she is losing her direct connection to both her mother and father as they become sicker both physically and medically. Listening to how much they miss Niko and their old life in the States was difficult but are preferable to the constant loop of fear, uncertainty and disorientation. Therefore it is best to keep explanations about her changing living arrangements as clear as possible. 

Eve resolves never to lie directly to her parents. From their perspective, she will be living with her girlfriend's family and supporting her deaf relative. They are enjoying the specialist nursing facility and no longer having responsibility for looking after each other and hiding everything from the world. Eve visits them faithfully every week and brings their favourite lunch. The set time frame and expectations benefit everybody. 

"Are you happy Eve?" her father asks in a quavering voice. 

"I am Dad, working again feels good and Irina is delightful if challenging girl. She is making progress." Eve replies, offering a broad smile. 

They are getting ready to join Konstantin, Oksana and the twins for lunch. The patriarch of the family insists on welcoming them to the neighbourhood. The old fashioned notion isn't strictly practical because they won't be anything close to in the same region, but the gesture is sweet nevertheless. Her parents are in one of their good and positive periods and its worthwhile taking and advantage. Her new relationship may be fake, but her relocation is real. 

***

_"Your Mum and Dad are sick too?"_

There is such compassion and understanding in Irina's expression that it makes Eve's heart ache. While she talks about her parents frequently (mainly to get the twins comfortable talking about their dad) there is a difference when they see sickness up close. Bringing her parents to meet Konstantin and the rest of the family feels like a big step. Ever since the situation with Rachel, Eve tends to hide all parts of her private life. Even if there wasn't a fake marriage on the horizon, these people were still important to her. 

_"Yes, and they don't know sign so I will translate for you. It may take my mum while to get the hang of things."_ Eve replies quickly. 

_"That's ok. People think I am weird when I try and talk, too. We can focus on the food._ " Irina is practical in her assessment of the situation. 

Eve wants to protest her characterisation, but Irina seems at ease with the label and her life following a dance troop gives her a unique perspective. Irina's continuing ability to look outside her own problems and immediate desires is a sign that her new schooling and home programmes are working well. In the weeks following the wedding, she will enrol in several after school activities with Bill's daughters. 

" _My parents are looking forward to meeting everyone. I don't think chef's rice will be quite up to my grandmother's standard, but it will be a nice chance to show off your chopstick skills."_

***

Eve tries not to wince at how frail her parents look even in comfortable surroundings. They were both uncharacteristically insistent that they wanted to accept Konstantin’s invitation to lunch. However, now that everybody is here, the conversation is stilted and halting. Eve wishes fiercely that her parents were in their retirement prime and didn't have to face the indignity of constantly needing support. 

"You must be so proud of your daughter. She is achieving great things and turning the twins into productive British citizens." Oksana's retort is in flawless Korean. 

"Your accent is bizarre. Where did you learn to speak our language, Miss?" There is a genuine curiosity in her mother's tone. 

"I am a former street urchin from Moscow with a gift for languages but not always the cadence. That's part of the reason Eve is with us, to correct my appalling laziness." Oksana confesses without a trace of embarrassment. 

"Korea is a small country, and our language doesn't have the mass appeal of French or Spanish. Your effort is commendable." her mother brushes the comment aside. 

Eve slowly starts to relax and eat a small portion of the meal. There are far too much salt and Kimchi for her tastes, but they are perfect for her mother. So far, nothing is going wrong, and Oksana is managing to carry her part of the conversation. Eve can understand how so many intelligent and savvy woman falls for this charm. Oksana is the perfect mimic and adapts to her surroundings. Eve credits Carolyn with finding someone so willing to carry the deception to almost MI5 levels if they are going to make this arrangement work that they are all in. 

"Languages aren't so difficult once you get the basic structures down. Your daughter is a tough teacher, but she is helping me learn some fairly sophisticating signing techniques, do you have any deaf relatives in your family?" 

Oksana knows all this information, including how to become an interpreter, but there is no harm in asking basic questions. Eve is curious to see how her parents recollect her early friendships and advocacy in Korea, where disability rights is still an evolving concept. Her volunteer work with migrant groups as a teenage is still something she looks back on with fondness. 

***

"Do we get a gold star for effort and accomplishment?" 

Eve feels far too tired to respond to Oksana's commentary right now. Hosting her parents is both physically demanding and emotionally unsettling. The rest home is astronomically expensive, but the routines and activities are improving their overall outlook. Her mother was able to focus on a topic that is familiar to her, and her father was comfortable and safe. Perhaps she needs to let go of the old ideas of her parents in much the same way she no longer mourns Rachel. 

"Don't be so smug and condescending. Your future in-laws were an important part in our plan. There is no need to pretend otherwise." Konstantin advises as he shifts in bed. 

"Thank you for maintaining your Korean. It helps them have the ability to use their first language. Where did you learn by the way? I didn't see anything about that in the background novels that Carolyn wrote?" Eve asks curiously.

"I figured we were already in danger with me being your younger Russian bride. We don't need to add the language barrier; we performed in Korea a few years ago.” 

Eve suspects there is more to the story that Oksana is willing to let on. Of course, her second language is mystic and mystery. There is no reason for her to learn and maintain such fluency. Eve wouldn't but it past Oksana to relearn basic language structures in the last week. Her parents will never know the difference, and everything that makes them smile is worth the investment. 

"It was still a lovely thing to do, accept the compliment and move on. Surely your ego is preening right now." 

***

Igor and Irina take the notion of a relationship between them in stride. 

Eve works hard to connect with the children, both as an individual and a unit. They are becoming closer to Eve living in the house. The nightly routine with the Shakespeare play is proving to be a valuable bonding experience. To the extent that they care about the lives of Oksana and Eve, they are happy to be spending more time with them both, the exact nature of this commitment doesn't matter. Eve focuses on providing stability and trust that she is in this for the long haul. 

_"Your parents are nice, and they love you a lot,"_ Igor observes, signing for his sister's benefit. 

Eve smiles in appreciation of his kind words. As with most children his age, he didn't exactly relish spending time with friends of the adults in their lives. To the twins’ credit or at least a successful amount of bribery, there were no major dramas at lunch. Both make an effort to talk to Eve's parents and answer any questions. Eve is proud that both Irina and Igor (normally fussy eaters) did not protest the traditional Korean foods, complete with chopsticks. 

"I enjoy working with you and Irina. It's nice for my parents to see the less boring aspect of being a sign language interpreter. Your dad is a charming man." Eve explains as she packs up the last of the lunch plates. 

"Oksana likes spending time with you and showing off. Did you know she studied Korean this whole time just to get along with your parents?" Igor confesses signing and speaking and the same time. 

"I thought that could be the case, not that she needs to study. Languages are one of her many gifts. If she wasn't such an adrenaline junkie, linguistics might have been her calling."

"Not enough action or shiny things." Igor agrees firmly.

***

"Do you have any preferences when it comes to the ceremony and the vows?"

"We are marrying for the sake of economic security and reputation. Do you honestly think the pretty words will matter in the end?"

Carolyn and Oksana rarely agree on anything, but they do decide that Eve needs to start taking the aesthetics of this wedding and commitment seriously. While they won't be aiming for YouTube good toasts or dances, there will be moments and keepsakes. By unspoken agreement, everyone wants to make things memorable for Konstantin. The live-action symbol that his children will be ok in the long run. Eve thinks they can get away with such things at the nearest willing courthouse, but plans are rapidly evolving to include a dinner and party. 

"I will physically dress you on the day if I have to, Eve, don't tempt me." Carolyn sounds scarily like a schoolmistress. 

"There is no need to get physical with your threats, Carolyn. Your mini-army of lawyers are doing their job admirably. I promise there will no jeans, tee-shirts, coats or inappropriate political messaging on the day. I have enough immigrant guilt in me to avoid making a complete spectacle. Oksana already has free range over the dress and makeup department; there is no need for me to add any elements. Trust me the cultural fusion wedding isn't nearly as fun as it looks on TV. Mainly we will have too much drinking and political debates."

"All the associated family members and political dissidents will be present for a celebratory dinner at my summer house. There are enough tables and private chiefs to keep everybody happy and on message, mainly a successful arrangement and happy children." Carolyn reiterates. 

"How often do you have a grand celebration for your scheming? Your chessboard/dance card must be fairly full?" Eve quips glaring at the other woman. 

"For the last time, Eve, you are giving me far too much credit and political power. You were there when I negotiated my final business in Asia. There are no funnels or money or connections to the Windsors." 

***

"You need to relax around me."

Oksana doesn't look up from the clothing rack she is expertly sorting through, but her tone is uncharacteristically serious. She doesn't carry that almost stereotypical Russian accent and cadence. Eve can't blame her for starting to feel nervous as the eight-week deadline creeps closer and closer. The guardianship interviews are going well, and Kelly provides a measured but positive assessment of Irina’s progress. Despite all her initial self-doubt, Eve's presence is giving evidence of stability. Working with children still feels strange, but the fundamentals of communication and translation are the same. 

"What are you on about? We are doing fine, including dancing together and taking the children on playdates. We will be fine; let's look for a dress that won't break the bank."

Eve doesn't enjoy clothes shopping at the best of times. Her work wardrobe is standard and plain, and she doesn't socialise with people fashionable people; therefore, her casual clothes define the term. The lawyer's instruction to avoid conspicuous consumption isn't difficult. Her entire clothing budget is roughly a month of Oksana's spending. The wedding will be a compromise between the two styles and tastes; thankfully, they are restricting this venture to the middle range outfits. Eve couldn't stomach the idea of going to a proper bridal boutique. Her second wedding will not be a repeat of the first, in both good and bad ways. 

"Whenever we are alone together you look like somebody shooting a hostage video or a course girl who fails her first social audition. People are going to notice eventually." Oksana disagrees, moving to violate her personal space deliberately. 

"You are a fine one to talk about body language and no verbal communication. I spend a portion of my working life watching faces, and you have the most complex expressions. For a theatrical diva, you are surprisingly pensive." Eve fires back, moving away towards the accessories shelf. 

"We are in this together, and we need to act like it." Oksana insists. 

"What do you recommend? We go through tactile therapy?" Eve asks

"Dancers are experts at watching movements and body language. You need to relax your shoulders and diaphragm. You have enough tension in your ribcage to crumble in a stiff breeze. Rachel and lawyers aren't on your heels, live a little, Eve. Dance like nobody is watching for a while. Come to the gym with me and punch the daylights out of a bag.” Oksana invites in an almost pleading tone. 

"That's easy for someone like you to say, Oksana. Talk to me in 20 years when you are contending with heartaches and hip weight."

"And you accuse me of fishing for compliments. If our fake marriage is to fail, it won't be because _I_ don't do a convincing job of finding you attractive. The photos of adoration will be _Bridal Magazine."_ Oksana promises in a whisper. 

"We have come this far without any major stumbling blocks, haven't we? Including inventing a frankly annoying number of hashtags? I'm as relaxed as a woman in her 40s about to fake an entirely new life is going to get; my body is one big collection of knots."

"Is that a challenge?" 

Eve doesn’t bother summoning the energy to reply, she merely switches the topic of conversation to the colour scheme.


	15. Future Complexities

_"Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,_

_Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend_

_More than cool reason ever comprehends._

_The lunatic, the lover and the poet_

_Are of imagination all compact:_

_One sees more devils than vast hell can hold,_

_That is, the madman: the lover, all as frantic,_

_Sees Helen's beauty in a brow of Egypt:_

_The poet's eye, in fine frenzy rolling,_

_Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven;_

_And as imagination bodies forth_

_The forms of things unknown, the poet's pen_

_Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing_

_A local habitation and a name."_

_A Midsummer Night's Dream - William Shakespeare_

"Things would be better if we have sex." 

"I can almost guarantee you say that to all the girls or anybody who has the right number of chromosomes and fits a loose age range between 18-60."

Eve cannot quite summon an appropriate level of sarcasm for the quip as the watches Oksana slowly unpeel the familiar _Titania_ makeup and consume. Watching her long blond hair escape the wide sprays and twists is strangely mesmerising. For somebody with boundless energy, Oksana rarely hurries this process and neatly puts everything away before leaving the dressing room. Tonight is the last night for this particular production and all the cast and crew are gathering at a local restaurant for an afterparty. Eve will be there by virtue of being the closest thing to a groupie this small scale kid-friendly production will receive. Her apathetic English teacher would faint at her now almost perfect ability to recall and refrain one of Bard's works. 

"I'm serious. Many of our problems will resolve if we book a five star hotel somewhere for a night or ten." Oksana insists, while moisturising her face. 

"First off you are rarely, if ever, serious about sex. Second, having sex would solve zero problems and create plenty more."

"You can't go around for the rest of your life believing that you are a failure at being a lesbian because one person took advantage. For somebody who is barely middle-aged, you certainly give up easily. If you can't handle a hook up on Tinder...due to ethics and a healthy fear of Carolyn Martens..."

"I need many things from you, Oksana Astankova, including money and a sense of security for the future, but I do not need some charity sex session. Thanks to your family, I can afford plenty of therapy and emotional support. My hypothetical brokenness is not up for debate..." 

_"For the 789th time, you stubborn fool. I. DO. NOT. PITY. YOU. According to the numerous psychological evaluation, it takes multiple starving kittens AND suffering children to make me feel any empathy. Your little L Word drama doesn't make the grade."_ Oksana signs the words with an impressive about of flare and dramatics. 

Eve blinks with a mixture of both clinical approval and a vague degree of apprehension. Oksana is moving towards her with hands flying through the air. Eve has been signing for as long as Oksana has been alive and she still struggles to keep up. It does not help matters that the tall woman, who even somehow resembles a mythical queen without makeup, slips into some of the twins' version of slang. Her signing eccentrics reflect her level of frustration with the current conversation. Eve backs up against the door. The interpreter within her refuses to look away from communication, even as her heart starts to pound. 

"Half the reason Carolyn approached you in the first place is that I was _in_ Seoul touring and badgered her for your details after seeing you. Do I honestly seem like the type to perform random acts of kindness, anywhere?" 

Eve doesn't have the words to articulate a reply, but at the same time, there is nothing she can say in the five minutes they have before the team drags them to celebrate. Instead, she reaches out and grabs Oksana's flailing right hand and tugs it down, stroking the rapidly moving fingers. It takes a moment, but Oksana does start to settle down, but it doesn't remove the scowl from her face.

"We'll talk about this later, when you aren't on a deadline."

***

"You are all invited to our wedding in a little over two weeks."

Oksana's declaration shouldn’t be a surprise nor the public setting. The last few months were all preparation for making this union a stable public reality. Carolyn and Konstantin may be going overboard with their pseudo-Cold War efforts not to turn this thing into a cheap romance novel, complete with strategy, allies and communications briefs. At the same time 'coming out' to her fake girlfriend's work colleagues when she can confidently recount every professional accomplishment and injury for the last two decades, including the murky details of the Russian training academies. 

The room around them is silent for several long minutes before the proclamation sinks in. Most of the cast know Eve and Oksana have some relationship, but the exact nature remains a mystery in large part due to the hectic show schedule. Oksana doesn't confide in colleagues and has many social occasions. Eve enjoys the notion that the idea of them together despite all their differences doesn't warrant commentary or scandal. 

"Our Titania has found her Oberon!" squeals the actor playing Puck. 

"Aren't they almost literally the textbook definition of horrible marriage modelling and even worse communication? Hopefully, we won't be following their example, if nothing else to avoid the therapy bills." Eve points out reasonably. 

"I was shipping for you guys to go the distance. Your date nights with Igor and Irina were the cutest thing ever, and they were hoping for this as well." One of the understudies does a convincing version of a verbal swoon.

Their two personalities couldn't be more on show than when they were receiving congratulations. Oksana preens in the attention, rather like a queen with her court. She happily starts spinning one of the cute anecdotes about falling in love with Eve's BSL style and finding excuses to sit in on her lessons with Irina. As with every good lie, there are enough elements of truth to make the story believable. Eve feels a twinge of resentment at how easily another charming woman is spinning a narrative about loving her, necessary or not. 

"When did you start to fall for your student, Eve?" Somebody asks eagerly, to complete the story. 

"Honestly I'm it in for the twins and our awesome adventures. _SkyDancer_ was an unexpected development, who _was_ suspiciously slow at basic syntax for somebody who is the definition of a polyglot. I was haggling with her over acceptable grocery expenditure before I was aware of anything in particular. Best to leave the sweeping Jane Austen-like tales to Sana." Eve offers with a bashful shrug. 

Everything escalates from there with more drinks that aren’t strictly healthy for slender dancers and actors on strict timetables. However, it is the last night, and Eve isn't going to become that definition of the older girlfriend who nags about such things. Oksana could likely drink old-timers from the KGB or FSB under the table. 

Considering the tension between them less than two hours ago, Oksana does a convincing job of appearing over the moon. They pose for slightly stiff selfies in the dimly lit private room. Eve becomes temporarily distracted by the faint glitter that is still in her companion's hair. Eve does her best to relax and not display any apprehension. In one way, Oksana makes an effort easy, she poses and takes everything in stride and angles the phone to get the best angle. 

"Oh wow, this is going to be so much fun. We can plan everything from the music to the party favours. You are cutting things fine, but that's what the team is for." 

"We are going for a relatively low-key affair; there is no need to recreate the West End." Eve insists. 

"Although you guys are a creative lot. We'll leave everything but the core details in your hands. My stepfather is not in a good way and he wants to have one final send-off with all the kids. I think something distinctive and wild will make him smile." Oksana manages to undercut Eve's effort at modesty with a smile. 

Eve watches them all swoon again and marvels at Oksana's powers of persuasion without saying a single lie. It's a relief to know that she isn't shooting back vodka and cursing her in multiple languages. At least there is good food and a decent buffering zone between her and Oksana. They will argue about this in the morning after this brief respite. 

***

Somehow the celebrations turn into late-night cake sampling. 

The director of the play leads them all rather imperiously towards a 24/7 bakery and cake shop which is evidently a thing in the right part of London. Eve is in bed too early to judge such things accurately. Without waiting for permission, several of the cast explains the situation to the staff in animated tones. Either large summons of money or goodwill changes hands. Eve and Oksana find themselves in the middle of a long table with 20 small sample cupcakes. Eve almost flinches at the overwhelming amount of sugar but a lifetime of erratic meals between class or translation gigs make this doable. Oksana will represent them both in the eating stakes. 

" _You know plenty of my fantasies start with you in a similar position, but there are less clothing and other people in the way."_ Oksana signs with a wicked smirk. 

_"I don't think you need anything coming between you and the food, Sana. Besides I've translated far too many, WHO Talks on hygiene ever to consider a food kink."_ Eve waves her away dismissively. 

_"Is this another indirect way of telling me you do have kinks and are simply waiting for me to figure them out?"_ _Oksana latches on to the distinction._

Fortunately for all involved and the notion of public decency, they are pulled away from the conversation to sample the flavours. The offerings range from the traditional variations of chocolate to the experimental without much sugar. Eateries in London need to cater to many different diets and customs, so there are a few vegan and allergy specific ones too. 

Surprisingly Oksana doesn't immediately select the most decedent and expensive option. She tilts her head when considering each mouthful tending to favour the ones with a more tart or citrus flavouring. Eve is largely apathetic when it comes to sweet foods, so she doesn't intend to put up much of a fight until the final creation involves gold leaf and imported ingredients. 

***

"Please, I am begging you, let us do _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ Wedding Theme?" 

Eve will freely and proudly admit that she is cynical about this wedding and marriages in general. Luckily nobody in their immediate circle is a romantic at heart. Her parents gave up on that dream long and settled for the situation with Niko. For all the changes she needs to make for this arrangement; she doesn't need to pretend to feel heart and moonbeams. There is nobody that is in immediate danger of insisting they write their vows and have matching Christmas cards. However, the pleading almost heartsick look on multiple faces makes her soften slightly. Of course, she could simply be having a delayed reaction to all the cupcakes. 

"We haven't settled on any particular details. The party is an evolving creature with far too many details...with Konstantin getting sicker." Eve begins looking over at Oksana to continue the story. 

"Oh we won't be thinking anything too extravagant or Insta filter crazy, but we have so much stuff leftover from the production that will go to waste, not to mention my mad skills going to waste. For the reception at least if not the ceremony." Audry, the makeup artist, chimes in hopefully. 

"Eve's bone structure would look amazing, carrying off a soft butch/androgynous theatre geek style…" Oksana speculates with far too much glee. 

Eve squirms under their suddenly rapt attention. People often think that somebody who uses languages for a living must automatically be more creative than the hard sciences. For her, the reverse is true; she enjoys the translation and interpretation work because there are set rules to follow and only a set number of outcomes. Her Classicists friends can claim credit for new and fresh translations but Eve much prefers her role in the background work. She feels like a 'fresh manuscript' right at that moment. There are so many creative people looking at her with plans in their eyes. 

"Stop looking like you want to measure me for the leather pants that David Bowie wears in _Labyrinth,_ I opted out of every theatre-related credit for a reason. Not that any of you are old enough to remember that film..."

"Don't be insulting, Eve, except for your dance prodigy wife to be, all of us are drama club geeks in one form or another. That film is practically required weekend guilty pleasure viewing." Audry dismisses the objection. 

"My point still stands. You can brush off the wings, Oksana, but I will stick with flowers and lace."

***

"Carolyn's wedding planner is going to lecturer us for hours about the new additions and the disruption to the seating plans; you know that, right?"

They are walking the final few blocks to the house while drinking plenty of water. Oksana is complaining about the abuse on her sore feet. It seems like the only logical thing to do with so much food in their systems before bedtime. Fortunately, the final show is on a weekend, and there is little to do in the morning. Eve is contemplating cancelling Irina’s lessons for the afternoon. There will be plenty of time to practice in the coming weeks. Irina wants to make a speech at the wedding and talk specifically to her father. Igor is more apathetic on the idea, but he will stand there with his sister. 

"It's not like my side of the aisle will be overwhelming with joyous relatives from provincial Motherland. This move will stop any weeping and sorrow about Russia's abysmal human rights record as if their inability to tolerate decency or any form of liberalism is anything new; it's simply more public now." Oksana points out practically. 

"Still, how is this thing evolving from a registry thing to a party with mutual friends who want to give speeches.? Isn’t that the Number 1 advantage to having a fake wedding?" Eve moans half-heartedly. 

The protest is largely for show and to fall into a familiar pattern with Oksana. The impromptu wedding celebration with the cast was a fun excuse to relax and get more comfortable in this groove as a couple. This arrangement is starting to feel like less a lie and more like an unconventional start to something. She will never marry or enter a relationship like the one with Niko or Rachel ever again. Eve wasn't cut out for conventional love stories but maybe Carolyn's beloved "Mutually Beneficial Arrangement" is truer than she realises. 

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to complain about being too successful? Half the gullible fools in there are going to crowdfund for our dream honeymoon or something. We have sold the dream, Eve, complete with your ex-husband not trying to arrest me while your former girlfriend is in jail finding a divine power of the week or whatever people do there." 

"Well, when you reframe the milestones like that then everything is fairly sunny. I'm sure we'll manage to sell them on at least the general theme idea. If anything the twins will enjoy the excuse to dress up as their big sister." Eve relents with a reluctant smile. 

"Exactly, and don't be sure to discount the Jareth from the _Labyrinth_ idea, Eve. We could make things look far more stylish than David Bowie in the 80s. Your hair could carry it off, and this would be long after the time your more conservative relatives went home.” 

***

"You aren't wrong even if your metaphors and examples were a little dramatic." 

Eve has no intention of speaking the words out loud, but there is something peaceful about walking Oksana to her bedroom door after such a long night together. There is a new level of honesty between them. Somehow the argument about empathy and the right amount of cream in the eclairs is the pinnacle of weeks of tension and moving somewhere close to the same direction. The dynamic is not a healthy one, and she will never trust Oksana completely. But maybe Eve can trust her future wife enough to ensure mutual satisfaction. If nothing else there will be a resolution to give into the constant banter and innuendo. Perhaps, they will have a single night and then go their separate ways metaphorically. 

"I was using this plan and the twins as the perfect opportunity never to consider risking relationship entanglements again. At the time there was no possibility of this ever escalating, so the chances were high we could coexist without my to quote Carolyn 'decades worth of repression' becoming a determining factor. You don't pity me but believing you is the hard part, Sky Dancer."

Eve continues the explanation as she guides Oksana into her room. For once, she is quietly listening and doesn't seek to interrupt with any observation. Perhaps the long schedule and the endless meetings with the counsellors are taking its toll. Oksana collapses onto the bed with far less grace that is typical for a dancer. She blinks at Eve with the deep determination of a toddler trying to stay awake past bedtime. 

"This suggestion is backwards on so many levels. After the wedding and as long as Konstantin stays well, why don't we go on a real date? There are plenty of five-star places that do more than have sheets with impressive threads counts.” Eve leans against the door frame and watches Oksana. 

"Will you remember this in the morning when all the fancy dairy products and ethical icing make their way through your system? Besides what's wrong with getting a head start on the honeymoon?" Oksana complains through a massive yawn. 

"One major milestone at a time. If you called in South Korea - I could have shown you the sights. There are barbeque spots that may even sate your appetite. Wouldn't be the best timing, though. If you ask me that same question in the morning, my answer may surprise you. Sleep now, we have plenty to do in the morning." Eve says once she is sure her charge is comfortable. 

"You are a calculating little sneak. You decide to do this when I am too tired to move, much less seduce you. How is that fair in the slightest?" Oksana glowers at her with sleepy anger. 

"Isn't that the whole point of a night in midsummer? For the magic of confessions that are too tricky in daylight? I promise all remember everything in the morning." Eve whispers before slipping away. 

The King of Dreams claims Oksana before she can come up with a suitable response in any language. 


	16. Future Perfect

_When my love swears that she is made of truth_

_I do believe her, though I know she lies,_

_That she might think me some untutor’d youth,_

_Unlearned in the world’s false subtleties._

_Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young,_

_Although she knows my days are past the best,_

_Simply I credit her false speaking tongue:_

_On both sides thus is simple truth suppress’d._

_But wherefore says she not she is unjust?_

_And wherefore say not I that I am old?_

_O, love’s best habit is in seeming trust,_

_And age in love loves not to have years told:_

_Therefore I lie with her and she with me,_

_And in our faults by lies we flatter’d be._

Sonnet 13 William Shakespeare 

"Can I come in? I need to talk to you about something and offer a proposition of sorts."

"I never took you for the epiphanies in the middle of the night type, Eve. See you in 4-8 hours, more if the muscle relaxants do their job, I have connections with some out of market varieties." 

"We'll talk about how dodgy that combination can be later, right now do you want to hear about my non-refundable travel vouchers?” 

Oksana doesn't immediately respond to Eve’s question to be fair; she is still recovering from the late-night afterparty. She glowers at her companion from the doorway for the violation of the unspoken rule not to start a weekend day early. This agreement should be particularly apparent after the month of production and rehearsal. Oksana hadn't planned on emerging before midday and multiple cups of coffee strong enough to destroy internal organs. Nine times out of ten an unscheduled visit from Eve (especially after their confrontation) is a welcome distraction but not before the birds stop greeting the day. 

"Weren't you the one making pretty comments about Shakespeare, Angels and Sleep, Eve?" Oksana asks with a jaw popping yawn. 

"And you are the one that is always boasting about your incredible stamina and ability to outlast anyone?" Eve retorts.

"I was not referring to beating the pigeons to breakfast, Fiancée Dearest."

"Why do you think I keep telling you to be more precise with your language choices, Miss Polyglot?" 

Eve looks like an advertisement for the seven plus hours a night routine even though she went to bed at roughly the same time. Her hair is in a professional updo with an uncharacteristically fancy pin. Eve is wearing what Oksana privately refers to as the “Project Adoption Uniform," suitably conservative and respectful. The bland fibres and poor sewing make her itch in sympathy. 

"Is there a reason you are challenging my syntax and not waiting nervously for me to ask you out in homage to first date aspirations?" Oksana asks while obediently changing into a loose tunic in bright orange and pink. 

"I have an idea for a first date starting point, and it is time-sensitive, figured we could spend the day setting some marriage ground rules away from Carolyn and her Black Ops intelligence teams." Eve shrugs nervously 

"Where are we going?" Oksana agrees promptly. 

"My family chipped in and got me a weekend away doing historical tours and urban gardening. I didn't have the heart to tell them that it was something I was doing with Rachel and her family. Figure we could take advantage of the free accommodation and get a head start on Igor's science research for next term." 

"Sounds several degrees of boring and does nothing for your reputation of trouncing our age gap love story. But I'm going to focus on the fact that you want to spirit me away like a semi-solvent Sugar Mumma, we'll work on your geography and cred later." Oksana intentionally butchers an American accent for the term. 

"Ok never use that terminology again, especially in company, and maybe you can chalk it up to the magic of fairy lights and the post-party adrenaline. My advice would be to go with the spontaneity; it happens once every lunar eclipse for me now." 

"I can pack in ten minutes or less, trust me. You will be travelling with an expert nomad. My only stipulation is that we don't bring any textbooks, sign language will still be there next week. Your lawyers could also use the chance to earn their fee."

"It's strange..."

***

"What is strange?" Oksana prompts impatiently. "Aside from the fact we are going to spend time wandering the M and gawking at dinosaur bones and mouldy clothes before trying to save bees foolish enough to live in the city?" 

Eve doesn't feel like debating the principles of ecology and conservation. She is already starting to regret this impulsive invitation. Oksana is moving around like a whirlwind packing the two small bags with far too many outfits. She doesn't seem to care about the mechanics for their trip and focuses more on beauty and fashion supplies. Eve struggles to follow the logic about sessions and 'couple clothes.' The whole morning still feels vaguely dreamlike as if they are still in the production and at the beginning of the closing act. Eve somehow found the courage to ask her future fake wife on a real date. 

"You bring out the worst and the best in me in equal measure. The seven sins are practically your guiding principles, yet being around the chaotic whirlwind is grounding me as a semi-functioning human being. How is that this fake relationship is doing more for you than hours of therapy and study of queer theory?" Eve asks the questions almost absently. 

"It's not that complicated, Eve. You live in your head far too much and expect everything to make sense. I don't worry about the details and your endless labels. Am I gay? Am I a good person and such like..." 

"Our entire lives revolve around successful labels at this point, but I take your point. Maybe I can be ego to your id or something similar. This trip can be a test run for that therapy, come on lets beat the morning traffic." Eve agrees with a weary smile. 

***

"I would have married Rachel if you posed the question seriously." 

The confession is embarrassing, but it’s nothing that Oksana doesn't already suspect or know already. The files that Carolyn provides are comprehensive. Rachel is true to her word and doesn't contact her after the court reconciliation. Eve's lawyer is pleased with the filings and credit agreement. The emotional pain is more difficult to solve than financial pressure and atonement. Somehow Oksana is the less judgemental person in her new life. Her few friends are too connected to her coming out and the small fanfare of media the tax and theft cases generate at the time. 

They sit together on the tour bus and Eve finds herself making comments about her past. If they are going to make a potential relationship, she needs to be honest about the mess. Eve realises that talking about her ex-lover no longer causes pain and humiliation. 

***

"I still don't understand why you don’t want to take any additional money besides the repayment agreements and your pathetic wage as Rini's tutor? Which you woefully undercharge for anyway."

Eve sighs at the familiar argument. Oksana fully expects her to proudly 'gold dig' for all she is worth. One thing the younger woman admires is when other people successfully play the con. Their emotional entanglement is secondary to this fundamental reality. As far as Sana is concerned, Eve earns every cent and beyond. However, the woman in questions has more set truths when it comes to ethics and obligations. Besides, her budgeting is far easier without the burdens of court debt and the care home. 

"The point of this isn't to make me money; it's to remove the burden of debt. I can take contracts and look after myself. There is a difference between wanting and needing your money. The few months being the unwitting girlfriend of a thief were enough for me. Not all of us expect a chauffeur between top hotels. My salary is better than most and more than adequate for the next year." 

"You can't stop me from buying things and expanding your tastes beyond budget brand everything? Those etiquette lessons and politeness will force you to accept dancers bearing gifts." Oksana predicts with a triumphant smile. 

"We'll see who can corrupt the other first. I could become a high maintenance socialite, or Oksana Astankova will turn into a mere mortal, the only one that defies gravity for a living. I predict you will be too busy planning school runs and social activities to buy out the Eiffel Tower for the evening or buy me a painting by the Masters." Eve bargains confidently. 

"I accept your challenge, although please note; I would never do something so cliché as renting out that tourist trap. It would make much more sense to hire out a French Deaf Education Centre or a ticket to the professional language geek conference." 

"It's in Rome next year so not such an impressive feat, given the cheap fares."

"300 odd days give me plenty of time to plan something spectacular." 

***

"It's nice not to share you with the limpets. Igor and Irina have a while of demanding your attention with their petty dramas and heartaches. I have to work harder to keep your attention. This holiday with geriatrics was a great idea." 

"Theatrically, your fully functioning frontal lobe gives you the ability to sort out the adult version of such things, and we talked about your 'terms of endearment.’ You aren't in competition with the twins, Oksana. We will be spending plenty of time together with and without them." 

For all her protests, Oksana starts to enjoy the historical buildings and gardens tour. In truth, she enjoys spending the time with Eve without the presence of two small shadows. The museums are almost interesting, with massive displays and interactive displays. The ability to bypass the kid's section is a luxury that she revels in. Children are amusing, but they take energy. 

"I like spending time with you and want to go for dinner sometime and maybe even see that honeymoon suite you keep promising." 

Eve blurts the comment while they are waiting for their lunches to arrive. Oksana is surprisingly social or at least not hostile to the members of the tour. Eve decides not to push her luck on day two and opts for a private lunch at a local pub. The vegetables are all from local gardens, and Oksana wants to sample some of the honey treats. A mini holiday after the production was a solid idea and Eve enjoys chatting to Oksana without an invested audience. 

"Well, that's a good thing, given we are going to be playing housewives with school routines soon. It’s a good bet we will be doing more dinners than fun and sexy activities for the next few months. I love Rini, but her conversation gets a little repetitive after the first or second mention of the latest chapter in her chapter books. Honestly, these authors have no imagination." Oksana shudders in mock horror. 

"At least you don't have to fake an interest in a K-Pop band or influencer yet, don't fancy your chances doing an impressive job there. My point is _liking_ you was never part of the plan. Lust and sexual attraction, yes, companionship not so much."

"Of course not, liking your fake wife and meal ticket would get in the way of a perfectly good brood and wallow about your failure as a later in life lesbian or something?" Oksana asks with a cynical eye roll. 

"You sound like Carolyn. Please don't start following local politics and navigating small European nations. I signed up to this arrangement because the chances of us being genuinely compatible were so remote."

"Hate to break it to you Eve, but your master plan was fairly obvious from the second I saw you. The only thing Rachel and I have in common is the requisite number of chromosomes." 

***

"I still think you could rock an Oberon costume." Oksana insists. 

"Well, you have roughly two weeks and many resources to try magic up a complete personality transplant, good luck with that Titania?" 

Eve makes the quip while carefully watching the beekeeper marshal the hives while explaining the techniques and the process of renting a colony. While it’s all an elaborate infomercial for the company, it's an interesting display of nature. Oksana insists on making biting comments about everyone's fashion, but she is following every move. The dancer in her is most likely mapping the flight path for ideas. Her family will enjoy seeing her making full use of the gift. Their family isn't close, but it's a lovely gesture.

"Why don't we make a deal. You let me select your reception outfit, and I promise not to take inspiration from David Bowie or any 80s fantasy movies. I'll even keep to that ridiculous austerity level budget and shop retail." Oksana negotiates with something close to a genuine plea in her voice. 

"I can see why _you_ think that would be a considerable sacrifice, but I am staying firm on a plain dress or suit. Consider it a downside of marrying somebody in their mid-forties. The theatre crew will have enough fun with the decorations.” 

"Accessories are my domain. I'll even make it worthy of hanging in your parents’ hospital rooms; they will be swooning over their fake daughter in law in no time." 

"Somehow, you make deep arrogance convincing and borderline appealing. The lawyers would have brought your repentant single parent act sooner or later. Carolyn and Konstantin were too impatient and spent a small fortune for the convenience factor.” 

***

"You could keep her number. The rules of engagement can be less strict once the placement is through the courts and the final inspections. 

Eve makes the offer we more sincerity than conviction. Women tend to flock to Oksana and compete for her attention. They are still navigating a new phase of their 'real' relationship, so Eve feels conflicted about the prospect. The admirer in question this time is a young dancer who looks barely twenty but has the glow of an Instagram fitness model in training. Her professional admiration extends to flirtation even when Eve returns to the hotel lobby. Oksana is rising to the occasion half-heartedly and is staring at the number, getting ready to delete. 

"Please, she wants my LinkedIn contact list far more than she wants a date. Please stop trying to act all liberal and accepting of the Will Smith model of marriage, admitting that our obsession is a mutual affair will be a good start to our foray into dating." Oksana deletes the number and shepherds Eve out the door. 

"True, I don't think Thumbelina could convince you to attend a workshop on rehabilitating bees in an urban environment. On that note, how would you feel about a semi-permanent groupie for the next few shows?" Eve asks as they move to join the walking tour of a local estate. 

Oksana looks intrigued by notion and gestures impatiently for Eve to continue her train of thought. Luckily they can wander these groups in pairs or small groups. The design is largely geometric, but there is a huge array of colours and exotic species. Their small army of wedding planners could take inspiration from the schemes and backgrounds. Eve obligingly snaps a few images to post to social media. It's somehow enjoyable to have something more to post than news and animals. Oksana is standing underneath a patch of giant sunflowers that tower over her and bend slightly in the breeze. 

"We are going to be fairly time-poor after the wedding with the kids and making sure Konstantin and my parents stay comfortable. My schedule with Irina will depend on her after school programmes. The easiest way for us to chat and hangout is after the show. It’s a guaranteed late dinner with your crazy metabolism. It'll work out to be about 3 or 4 dates a month if you want to get technical." Eve explains quickly. 

"You have a thing for watching me in expensive costumes, don't you? Wanting to chase off any territorial understudies? I could save your circadian rhythm the trouble, and dress up at home, feel free to send requests." Oksana offers altruistically. 

"I don't have a Day-Night rhythm to lose anymore, Sky Dancer. You aren't a possession for me to claim."

"Not for lack of trying," Oksana mumbles under her breath. 

Eve impulsively leans up and kisses her taller companion before she can launch into a lecture about sexual frustration. After all the build-up there is nothing particularly special about this moment. Sure, their mini holiday is a success, and the guardianship arrangement is almost complete but _now_ is not the particular moment to kiss Oksana or be demonstrative in public. For a moment, Oksana freezes and doesn't return the affection. Eve feels rather like an inexperienced teenager on her first date, rather than a divorcee with numerous ex-lovers. When Oksana finally does give herself over to the kiss, Eve decides the wait was worth it. 

"There is nobody here we need to leave an impression on or have relationship credential. A Korean grandma is muttering about morals if my lip-reading skills are up to standard. The least they could do is make the right call on who is rolling in money." Oksana whispers against her ear. 

Eve marvels at how natural this moment feels and the skill of Oksana Astankova in full seduction mode. Neither the casual nor the close observer would be able to tell this action is a recent development. Oksana is kissing her while stroking her cheeks and running skill fingers through her hair. Eve is absurdly pleased that left her hair down on that particular day. 

"It stopped being about appearances around the time you agreed to read the third book childhood development. Let them form opinions and feel sorry for my parents." Eve declares before dragging them to next flower display. 


	17. Future: Read Your Mind

_“I want to see you._

_Know your voice._

_Recognise you when you_

_first come ‘round the corner._

_Sense your scent when I come_

_into a room you’ve just left._

_Know the lift of your heel,_

_the glide of your foot._

_Become familiar with the way_

_you purse your lips_

_then let them part,_

_just the slightest bit,_

_when I lean in to your space_

_and kiss you._

_I want to know the joy_

_of how you whisper_

_“more”_

_Rumi_

“We are nearing the end of the process, Eve. The restrictions on your movements and spending will lift soon.”

Eve musters a smile for her primary lawyer who has been kinder than her meagre retainer would justify. The constant weight of financial obligation and public humiliation is such a familiar one that the easing of such pressures feels strange. Most of her earnings will still go to maintaining her parents in the retirement complex, but at least she doesn’t have debts to consider. With any luck, the closest she will get to another lawyer is dramas on TV. Naturally, Konstantin has both Eve and Oksana write and update their wills and division of property. 

“Is there anything that will jeopardise my arrangement with Oksana and the children? The family will have enough to deal without me bringing unexpected obstacles.” Eve asks for the third time.

“Eve you aren’t a prisoner beholden to the crown and her representatives. As long as you stay in the black and pay the final sums your life is none of their concern, including access to credit.” The tall man insists patiently. 

Eve sits back, working to process this information. It feels unusual to be visiting her lawyer and discussing her criminal history a week before her wedding. However, such a departure from the norm fits with the strange turn that is her second marriage. The lawyer has been saying the same refrain to her for weeks now. He is trying, with limited success to get her into the mindset of somebody who has paid her (unjust) debt to society. In some ways, Eve's mortification makes her a model client, but such burdens are not necessary anymore. 

"That's good, images to the contrary, Konstantin Vasiliev does not have endless wealth and everything he has is going into securing a future for the children. I will not derail that beyond what is already in terms of engagement." Eve replies, taking up the papers. 

***

“Promise me you’ll consider something more colourful for the wedding night?”

Eve doesn’t answer immediately, and she turns away from the taller woman. The bed they currently occupy is too small for a respectful distance, but Eve does her best. Their kissing session escalates to the removal of clothing. They have the afternoon alone together without demands on their time; it will be one of the few times until the ceremony. Their physical intimacy is enjoyable, and Eve has an unexpected fascination with her companion’s toned physique, neck and colleague bones. 

However, as things are getting more interesting and intense, Eve feels her body freeze in fear. The last horrible and desperate time with Rachel echoes in her mind. The two situations couldn’t be more different, but Eve’s body still feels the phantom touches and words. Oksana is surprisingly perceptive and stops immediately and moves a careful distance away before attempting joy. Of all the responses Eve expects from Oksana, care and concern are not high on the lis,t especially when the progression of this part of their relationship has been agonisingly slow and vastly different from Oksana’s previous experiences. 

“Somehow I don’t think it will be my choice of lingerie that will be boring on the night, Oksana. I haven’t flamed out at second base since my last year of high school if you will forgive the dated metaphor.” Eve complains burying her face against the pillow. 

“If it’s any consolation you were nowhere near as bad as the two best friends who slept with me to ‘get over’ each other and ended confessing in bed separately, a total waste of two nights and a decent hotel room. At least you have some dignity in your emotional breakdown.” Oksana offers casually, without moving from her position. 

“Still, you didn’t sign up to be my sex therapist and intimacy coach after my first lesbian sexual experience spiralled into a doomed relationship either. Can I buy you a mountain of expensive junk food as compensation and we never speak about this evening again?” Eve offers beseechingly. 

"Sugar is the answer to many issues, but it's not going to give me selective amnesia nor are we going to avoid anything remotely sexual because your ex was a kleptomaniac with a laughable criminal skillset. Your friends Jess and Elena are right, you deserve to enjoy being queer, even if you came to it later in life." Oksana disagrees, her voice somewhere between gentle and exasperated. 

"You picked a hell of a time to listen to those emotional, sensitive lessons, Sky Dancer." 

"Through Carolyn's scheming and Rini's adoration, you seem to be becoming a long term investment and thus worth the wait." 

**

“Promise me you won’t get jealous.” 

Eve eyes her fiancee suspiciously as she bounds over from debating the precise lighting arrangements for the reception. Eve and Oksana are spending the final days before the ceremony making the party a spectacular affair. It’s a fine excuse to spend time together and continue ‘dating’ almost as a public secret. Most people around them assume it is the flush of new love or Russian fortune, but it the time is enjoyable. Eve is more or less content to trail along as her companion waxes lyrical about different colours and tastes for the menu. Oddly, these moments feel like living inside a Joanne Harris novel, complete with food and poetry. 

“Is one of your former paramours going to pull a Marilyn Monroe and serenade you in public to great embarrassment? Didn’t you date the pop star once?” 

“I keep telling you that my girlfriends do not have any more emotional investment in me than I do in them. The occasional few have pre-existing emotional hang-ups.” Oksana dismisses with a wave of her hand. 

"That statement is profoundly sad, Oksana. Surely there were people that you cared for in that long line of conquests?" Eve asks for with more curiosity than critique. 

"We can rake over my past some other time. Come and meet the interpreters who will be working during the reception, means that Rini and the other guests can converse and follow the formal speeches. You won't be working then." 

"Oh Sana, you didn't need to do this, I wouldn't be working for more than an hour put together, and Rini can be finicky about such things." Eve insists reluctantly.

Oksana begins a lecture on Eve not working every moment and hiding in the shadows. The quip about her wanting to wear black to escape notice most likely true but Eve refuses to concede the point. Hiring a team for the night plus relief cover is a ridiculous expense, but Oksana ignores all protests. Furthermore, she selects the interpreters carefully. Eve finds herself swept into an enthusiastic hug. Kelly, the interpreter from the assessment, and another of her friends from the same graduating class. They are both so excited by the prospect of reconnecting that Eve can't deny the chance. Oksana is such a sneak but an adorable one. 

***

“Promise me you won’t rebel against the Russian components, they are of sentimental value to Konstantin. There is nothing inherently evil about your native language.” 

“Please, Konstantin is losing the oxygen supply to his brain, it’s making him unbearably sentimental. Next, he will be longing for his mother’s Kasha, conveniently forgetting she was a terrible cook and the worst negotiator for the best supplies. His ties to the motherland are almost weaker than mine.” Oksana disagrees with a frown.

They are in the middle of what Eve fears is a long-running debate ever since Konstantin made his request. Technically speaking, neither of them has any ties to the Orthodox faith, the spectacle is for him. Eve is happy to do whatever makes him happy. The wedding is for other people, and the wedding is private. Deep down, Oksana doesn’t have any major objection; Eve doesn’t believe she has political marriage notions either way. 

"Sentimentality and a longing for the old days is hardly surprising in his case, even if his mother couldn't cook to save her life. You don't need to say more than half a dozen words to them if you don't want to, most will be shy about attending their first gay wedding with the unexpectable time of age gap. Let them sing the old songs out of tune and mingle with a few of my relatives, there can be little harm in such things." Eve reasons carefully. 

The LGBT belief systems are problematic but don’t represent the entire immigrant community. The dancer will always carry an antagonism to a country that did not have any use for yet another street urchin until she showed promise as a dancer. Oksana often darkly comments that she owes her unknown parents for limber hamstrings and ‘unbreakable kneecaps.’ These stories always make Eve sad but give her a renewed determination to appreciate her parents. However, they might struggle with her current life events.

***

_“Promise me; you will tell me if things get too much before we end up here. I know your teacher, Rini, she is far from stupid and does not deserve the insult to her parenting.”_

Eve makes the careful rebuke as she sits with Irina in the school conference room. Irina has some leeway at the new school with her father being sick and adjusting to school routines. However, insulting a new teacher cannot be without consequences. In a move that is reminiscent of her father, Irina calculates the move, so it is the most public and hurtful. Eve manages to defuse the situation and reassure the teacher in question, but she needs to convey the seriousness of the transaction to her charge. 

_“She doesn’t teach like you, and she won’t let me work on the wedding speech at lunchtime._ Irina insists, her movements jerky and sharp.

Eve takes a moment before replying wanting to strike a balance between understanding and not wanting to coddle the child. Attaching herself to a particular teacher is not unexpected, but it can be problematic. Teachers and specialist facilities often and have a higher than normal turnover rate. Eve was never going to continue in the role of tutor forever, but the prospect of such an idea would appeal to Irina as her father's health becomes so fragile. Irina can't believe that throwing a tantrum and using her wits in such a way will have everybody bending over backwards to accommodate her. Life can be hard for deaf adults and harder for those who are immigrants. All their careful arrangements will not protect Irina from that particular reality. 

_"I am not a teacher, so different styles are going to happen, give your new teacher a chance. I wouldn't let you work on the speech in school time either; you have a full schedule to consider here. There is plenty of time for speech after school. Right now, we are going to work on an apology."_

_"Sana would let me do what I want,"_ Irina replies fiercely in an obvious play to test the limits.

_"There is a reason that she is not here. Sky Dancer probably taught you some of those signs on a whim. We are dividing these things now, along with the level of fun I suspect. Now get writing."_

Eve feels a surge of gratification when Irina grudgingly starts writing. Spending so much time with children and taking responsibility for their discipline is still daunting. Unsurprisingly, she doesn't develop a maternal instinct overnight. However, Irina and Igor feel like an extension of her natural passion for bridging the communication gap and solving problems. They have a parent who they adore, Eve and Oksana were guardians in the true sense of the world. Even if she weren't benefiting from this arrangement financially, there would still be satisfied with this work and developing relationship. 

***

_“_ Promise me; you will at least keep an open mind to the colour scheme and the trees.”

Their new friends from the theatre are so excited but the prospect of bringing their ideas to life. Eve doesn’t have the heart to remind them that, unlike William and Kate, they won’t be getting married in an abbey where nature can bend to the desires of a creative visionary. Fortunately, everyone agrees that there are enough surprises in this unconventional union, and Eve can have the final say on how everything set up. Her parents do not need to spend a few hours in a multi-coloured haze. 

“Oksana likes to make a sport out of broadening my horizons. I promise not to faint if you present me with a pair of wings or a trapeze wire. You simply won’t get me defying gravity for the sake of your art. An ER selfie is not the best look for a wedding night, even if this one will enjoy the spectacle.” Eve gestures to the woman at her side. 

“Eve is doing her best to convert me to the value of saving accounts and financial planning. I think she gets the better end of the corruption to waver.” 

Their two friends are too caught up in explaining how they are going to decorate the space to do anything but smile at the witty piece of interplay. Oksana is probably vaguely disappointed that none of the agency workers are there to impress with the intimacy. Eve follows them around, finding herself agreeing with most of the decisions. The reception space will be awash with fairy lights and several of the more understated stage props from the production picturing the realm of Titania and Oberon. This union represents high emotion and strange entanglements. Few in the audience will get the joke, but it will make for pretty photographs and keepsakes for the hospital room where 'the father of the bride.' will be spending an increasing amount of time in under the supervision of private doctors. 

"The collection of old Kremlin comrades that Konstantin wants to bring and revel in the 'glory days' will have a heart attack at all the liberal gayness, even though plenty of their sons and daughters have permanent residence in the closet. Maybe that's why he is doing this grand charade as a final attack of defiance to the motherland.” 

Eve doesn't want to rehash the same argument, so she focuses on the logistics. She mentally turns the space from her wedding venue into an interpreting space. Where will the interpreters need to stand to see both the speakers and the Irina and her friends? The lighting is pretty and dazzling but will it interfere with Irina seeing the finer details. Eve can't help but feel a swell of excitement when she sees where the main table will be with the backdrop of flowers and greenery. Whatever theatrical dress Oksana will be wearing will match the colours and combine cream, glitter and lace. 

***

“Promise me you won’t run away with triplet acrobats or something or at least wait a few months?”

Eve sounds mildly insecure and less comical than she intends, but it’s meaningful nevertheless. As is their habit Eve is walking Oksana home after he latest production. This dance is an adaptation of a controversial book with women and relationship entanglements. Oksana enjoys the young women on display in various states of undress. The reviews are fair to middling, but there is enough praise to flatter the dancers’ egos and make a profit for the sponsors and backers. Eve finds the production itself boring, but the dates afterwards make up for the jealousy and insecurity.

They are holding hands and walking the now familiar route back to the train station. The local theatre is an easy distance from their regular hangouts, so it makes the dates easier. Not that their long walks are particularly romantic, but there is an impressive amount of communication, given the nature of the two people involved. Eve is slowly feeling more confident in their dynamic. 

“That is an oddly specific request, Eve. I can guarantee that running away is the last thing on my mind. I keep telling you that people in my circles are boring and not worth running away for, the conversation alone is mind numbingly boring.” 

“Please, be serious, Oksana, insulting other woman is not going to reassure me, we can’t ignore the fact you weave a spell on every bi-curious female on the planet.” 

“Eve...”

“I promise this isn’t some self-esteem crisis. It’s just hard to see me fitting into that world or whatever grand theatre your dance career takes you, pretty sure I eat more than your co-stars put together, pretty sure my ego couldn’t take the defeat at the end of artistic liberation. If you could wait at least six months...” Eve tries to shrug, but the movements are jerky. 

Eve doesn’t enjoy admitting that all her careful statements about keeping boundaries between them are crumbling under the weight of attraction. She likes spending so much time together and planning a future that will provide a solid foundation for Irina and Igor. However, its times like these that the differences in their respective worlds become more obvious. Having Oksana around the house, learning sign language and planning with Konstantin creates a false sense of how things may proceed. Oksana won’t be content with local production close to home forever. 

“If you are waiting for me to replicate the behaviour of Rachel, The Idiot, so you can reaffirm your world view then I’m sorry to disappoint. You are far more challenging and interesting than a fling with a dancer or stagehand from any continent. I’m serious when I say the thrill of sleeping with multiples loses its appeal after the first four or five years.” Oksana insists seriously. 


	18. The Wedding Part I

_"There is no such thing as a ‘broken family.’ Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with yo_ u.

  1. Joybelle C. _Essayist and Critic_



The wedding is still an abstract concept. 

The relationship between Eve and Oksana is changing and deepening; the notion of the ceremony stays in the distance. Eve was never one to fantasise about the white dress and ideal attributes of a future spouse. So much of these arrangements happen before 'the big day' that the nuptials themselves feel almost anti-climactic. It took far greater courage to have quiet conversations with her future wife on their date nights after the production. In a way, they have already said vows when agreeing to make this situation work for both their families. Personal sacrifices and lifestyle adjustments were necessary on both sides. 

Still, Eve pays careful attention to the simple cream dress with the barest hint of multicoloured flowers that Oksana choose in their last shopping trip. The outfit is more whimsical than Eve wood wants for herself, with fairly elaborate trim. Still, it looks nothing like a traditional wedding outfit nor one of the offshoots from Oksana's dancing productions. Eve is counting such concessions a win. The fabric is a little heavy but comfortable enough to walk in and doesn't have elaborate sleeves so she can sign to Irina if need be. Eve decides on a dress for this part of the celebration because it is what her parents will expect. Oksana wasn't too disappointed in merely gave her more ammunition for the reception. 

"I will never understand this decision, but I want you to be happy. Are you sure this is going to make you happy?" 

Eve suppresses a swell of emotion that her mother's words provide from the other side of the room. Her mother is wearing her best dress and Eve's great grandmother's pearls. The rest home staff have taken great pride in getting her ready that morning. Carolyn Martens (while not the most empathetic person) still has a genuine interest in her parents' welfare in much the same way she does with Konstantin. On that day she is acting like army general, keeping all the moving parts in the air. Part of Eve wants to be angry at how often, she hears that phrase from her mother, especially because this whole adventure is to give them a safe future. At the same time, that wouldn't be fair. 

"Yes, Mom. Knowing you and Dad are safe is the most important thing in my life, but taking this job and working with Oksana and her family makes me unexpectedly happy along the way. I can come and see you guys every Sunday and watch those movies from back in Seoul that Dad is obsessed with, I can be a full-time daughter again with a few additions."

"You are a good daughter, Eve, just a confusing one." 

One of the sad fringe benefits of her parents deteriorating health is that nuances of their daughter dating women is fading to insignificance. For different reasons, Eve's Mom and Dad are losing confidence in the world, and Eve is a constant that doesn't change. Eve is happy to act as a touchstone but misses the more in-depth conversations and time that was dominated by worry. 

***

The sight of Oksana at the entrance to the registry office is surprising. 

Theoretically, Oksana agreed to the dress code for the day that is somewhere between their two styles. Eve gave in to the _A Midsummer's Night Dream_ reception theme mainly to increase the odds of her bride conceding in other areas. For reasons that it is difficult for Eve to articulate even to herself, it's means something to her to have decent photos of the day for her parents’ home, also though there is no more need for inspections. Perhaps that was the moment when she should have known they were moving beyond the financial arrangement. 

Eve is still bracing herself for Oksana to walk upon stilts in full Titania, Queen of the Fairies glamour with a RuPaul Drag Race level of opulence and makeup. Her bride insists that they don't see each other before the ceremony, which makes little sense. Carolyn's information dossiers have given them such elaborate information on each other. Besides which all the wedding details were a collaborate effort at this point. 

"Disappointed not see my fairy wings, Eve? Don't worry; they will be making an appearance later. Bought them for a song from the theatre, poor fools have such a pathetic budget." Oksana is beaming when they meet in the doorway. 

"Somehow I will contain the heartbreak of not watching you tangle your way through the doors in a trail of glitter, you look lovely." 

The true word Eve was looking for is _understated_ , but the second would do well enough. Oksana's suit is the same colour as Eve's dress and the fit is flawless. The shirt underneath has the same array of flowers with precise stitching and beading. Her hair twist in style she most favours but the flowers are woven into the blond strains in the clasp are jewels, not natural. In an oddly sentimental touch, she is wearing the inexpensive necklace that the twins got her last birthday, which isn't anywhere near the value of the other adornments. 

"I would say you look equally appealing and lovely, but I choose the outfit and tailor it to exact specification so of course, you do, If I know one thing it is how to make a woman look good. If fashion was more lucrative at home, I would have done that, but you make a much more interesting model, as I keep saying." Oksana still appraises her with a critical eye. 

"If we could keep the teenage banter to a minimum. We don't want to keep the underpaid civil servants waiting; not everybody follows your timetable, Oksana." Carolyn comments briskly.

Eve rolls her eyes but moves to stand beside her parents, and as everyone moves slowly to the small room set aside for the ceremony. Irina and Igor look adorable in the outfits that they choose the occasion. The colours pick out the general themes for the day. 

***

The sound of the vows isn't the most important point of the day. 

As with most registry weddings, there is an expectation that they will be speedy and quiet affairs. The offices (especially in their part of London) often see large queues of couples waiting to exchange vows and/paperwork. The optics of their marriage receive some curious looks from the other people waiting in the lobby, but nobody is tackless enough to comment. Oksana is deeply attached to her layers of perfect makeup but wouldn't hesitate to fight anyone on her wedding day. Thankfully they end up in the room without incident or the hint about the age difference. 

How Oksana says the phrases are far more interesting the words. They agree on the standard offerings; it got too political when considering writing original ones, besides there wasn't anyone to coo over the romantic nature of such little intimate details. Eve couldn't honestly say the first time she fell in love with Oksana, but she was getting there. There was no need to create lasting moments at this stage. Oksana couldn't resist adding small details here and there. 

_"I take you to be my partner for life._

_I promise, above all else to live in truth with you, especially if you bring food to the table without concern for budgets._

_And to communicate fully and fearlessly in multiple languages_

_I give you my hand and my heart or something equally sentimental_

_As a sanctuary of warmth and peace or something equally sentimental_

_And pledge my love, devotion, faith, and honour_

_As I join my life to yours complete with our young sidekicks Rini and Igor”_

Oksana is constantly moving and trying to release excess energy when doing the simplest tasks. In a way, it’s as if she never stops performing to an invisible audience who keep request high drama and theatrics. In doesn't matter what language she is conversing or the message. Everything Oksana does seeks to gain and hold attention, like one of those 1920s Hollywood romances. Her whole body is a study in calmness and solemnity, and she keeps Eve's gaze without moving a muscle. There isn't even a hint of a smile at the end. 

Eve makes a split decision to be similarly spontaneous and ditch the generic vows. If their relationship was ever going to have a safe space, it was with these people. Besides, she wants her parents to know something of the genuine sentiment behind her decision to connect and commitment with this family. They know this isn't a conventional 'love match.' or anything close to what they would consider such things. They love her enough (in an increasingly distant way) to at least gather more information before making final objections. 

_"Oksana, I know that I would have a new future because of you, Rini and Igor but the idea of having a future **WITH** you felt impossible at the start or even most of the way through the middle._ _In turns out, you might be the exception to most of my life philosophies and value statements, but in the best way. I guess I'll serve in the eccentric fairy queen's court for a little while."_ Eve turns to sign the translation without consciously thinking about it. The programme she has done with Irina doesn't cover these words. 

Eve doesn't know what more satisfying Oksana's sharp gasp of surprise or Carolyn's birdlike head tilt that conveys mild curiosity. The grand schemer of all their destinies was not expecting that proclamation or Eve to be so bold. Carolyn Martens feels the emotion of surprise at least once every decade, so she is probably overdue. Irina is watching her hands with rapid attention, but not much understanding until Oksana reaches out and clasps their hands together in a show of unity. Then they both start clapping excitedly before turning to their father for his opinion on the matter. 

"It's unfair for you to say such things in front of the children, Eve. All my best retorts are not fit for their company." Oksana whispers in Korean. 

"Well, that is simply a testament to your new self-control as if that would stop you in the past." Eve quips. 

The register clerk to his credit doesn't show any obvious reaction to this rather unusual display. He merely ushers to two brides to do the last the official paperwork, the bulk of which is already in the system. Oksana couldn't resist whispering a joke that Britain would not be her first choice if she were truly a young Russian trying to find her fortune away from home. 

***

The smell of heritage roses and other blooms are overwhelming and oddly fitting for the occasion. 

The wedding photos are another aspect that is not strictly necessary. Oksana will get the full opportunity for pomp and circumstance with the reception party. To the extent that the wedding is happening slightly earlier than originally planned so that everyone can get ready. A pair of photographers will be working for the night and produce plenty of keepsakes for relatives and friends alike. Since there will not be the traditional roles of bridesmaids or attendants, friends are putting energy into the celebration. Bill and Keiko are providing the children's entertainment and supervising the twins in their official roles. Elena and Jess are serving as Eve's unofficial 'glam squad' and will be reapplying the key features. 

"Did you ever think you would be posing with me in a rose garden after saying vows that you almost mean?" Oksana asks as they wait for the lighting set up. 

"Did _you_ contemplate the idea of ever entering a union that requires you to say vows of any kind, much less to one person who owns exactly three bottles of perfume?" Eve counters with a knowing smile. 

Neither of them is the type to spend hours on getting the perfect shots, but the experience is surprisingly fun. The kids are running around and posing for overly dramatic shots or sweet ones with their father. Eve doesn't consider herself an overly sentimental person but seeing the interplay and affection brings a lump to her throat. Even if Oksana turns into an absolute nightmare, it would be worth the aggravation to capture more happy moments. 

"I believed in our potential to set the world on fire from the start. You just needed coaxing like that little lion club who lost his father and needed a girl to show him what to do in the world. You are more appealing than any lion or male specimen for that matter." Oksana declares, almost giddy. 

***

The taste of the 'wedding dinner' at Oksana's favourite restaurant is a strange combination, much like the person herself. 

Of course for a restaurant to be Oksana favourite is not a strenuous process, having large portions and great desserts and she is happy. The restaurant in question is the type of Asian fusion before than term becomes far too overused and almost meaningless. The rice is perfectly done, and the vegetables are crisp. Oksana puts far too much sauce on everything but Eve has greater battles than stopping her from wrecking perfectly good food. The dinner party is relatively small with Konstantin, Carolyn, the new couple and the Igor and Irina. Eve's parents are staying for a quick meal before heading home after a long day. While they will never fully understand the choice, Eve is proud of them for attending at all. 

"Perhaps, I should reconsider your wedding gift and sign you both up for cooking lessons; it will be a challenge to find places that would cater to your unusual palate regularly, Oksana," Carolyn observes drily. 

"I move fast like a hummingbird."

"It's true. She is even willing to eat my mediocre attempts at noodle dishes; I'll manage to keep Oksana fed somehow. We will have to have to set a comprehensive food budget, complete with an entire section for ice cream and cake. I think the only major competition I might have if Oksana meets my cousin, the pastry chef. There is a reason the vows had those references." 

Eve tries not to fidget at the attention her casual comment provokes from the people around the table. Her parents are smiling uncertainly. To their credit, neither of them to reply. Konstantin is grinning broadly as if he can take full credit for designing their happiness. In a way, he can, but not for this particular reality. 

"No way, sign language is a much more useful, Rini is more discerning than somebody who can mix flour and water in adequate ratios. I may reconsider my position later." Oksana declares firmly waving at the Irina across the table in between signing. 

"Well that makes me a tremendous happy man, even if you are responsible for 90% of my grey hair, Sana. You have a bright future ahead." Konstantin toasts weakly from his place of honour at the table. 

***

The feel of a wedding ring on her hand again is unexpectedly profound. 

When Niko and Eve married, they were not long out of grad school, and neither of them was going into lucrative professions or came from wealth. They settled on middle of the range rings and Eve wore the stones in a setting from Niko's grandmother. There was some controversy about giving such a family piece to a woman like Eve. Niko won the battle in the end. Eve wore the ring with pride but not a large amount of sentimental attachment. 

Fortunately, Rachel's declarations of marriage were never serious, but she did flatter Eve with expensive jewellery that was beguiling for a while. Some of the gems were so glamorous; it felt like wearing a museum quality piece, and Eve couldn't stop fidgeting. As lovely as the feeling was nobody who truly new Eve would deck her out in such finery regularly. 

Oksana chooses jewellery that is somewhere between the two types. It's impractical for a professional dancer to wear ornate rings for any length of time and Oksana's fingers often swell after a particularly hard performance. Eve is happy with the result of a simple platinum band with the option to engrave them both if they continue to feel sentimental. Eve likes to think of them as 'starter rings' more for the show than anything else. 

"Stop fidgeting, it's not a branding iron, Eve," Oksana instructs firmly. 

"Give me a second to adjust to the feeling. Marriage and its symbols have a history for me, metaphorically and literally." 

For a second, Eve wants to turn back time to the part when they weren't going to have anything close to legitimate marriage. At the same time, she would have no greater success in doing that then she would defying gravity. The ring does look unobtrusively pretty in the sunlight. 

***

The wedding night isn't anything like Eve imagined it would be. 

Of course, she tried very hard not to think about any of the traditions associated with the first night of married life. In the beginning, it was going to be a non-event in separate rooms. Now that Oksana is her girlfriend in reality and her wife on paper, it would be reasonable to assume that there would be a night of passion. However, Eve is still struggling with the notion of physical and sexual intimacy since that first night, when things didn't go to plan. These last few days have been such a whirlwind of activity that Eve manages to forget this salient detail. 

There won't be a honeymoon anytime soon, Konstantin, and the twins need a sense of security and stability. Eve's 'father in law' insists on them taking a few nights in a London hotel and it doesn't take much persuasion. Eve needs the opportunity to decompress after such a build-up and the hours of preparation and preening. The room is more of a suite than a single space. The colour scheme is relatively neutral, but there is more furniture than in her entire first apartment. At this stage, all Eve is truly grateful for is the thick carpet on her sore feet. 

"Don't look so scared Eve; we won't be reacting the interesting bits from the erotic novels that you pretend aren't on your bookshelf. Although I wouldn't be against trying the suggestions you bookmarked on page 137."

The typical mocking tone is present in Oksana words, but there is an undercurrent of gentleness that makes Eve smile. A large part of her new relationship will be figuring out what Oksana is saying underneath the spoken words. 

"I wasn't using that for an instruction manual; it was a joke gift from a friend back in the states. Also confessing to snooping is a bad idea it ruins your opportunity to find more interesting stuff later down the line." Eve jokes before moving hesitantly towards the bed. 

"Isn't the whole point of finding those sentiments on Vows are Us so that I don't need to waste the energy hunting for your innermost secrets? I'm not judging. The authors have some decent ideas." Oksana holds her hands up in mock defence. 

"Even the friends that are almost positive you are my midlife crisis, including the ex and half of my friends coming to the party, believe we have wild sex. Wouldn't it be disappointing for them to know I have a list of all your childhood injuries in my head and can place all your scars? Yet I can't get past kissing in back corners of local theatres." Eve comments without looking up from the carpet. 

Oksana sits on the bed, beside her wife, before pulling them down to lie and stare at the ceiling. Fortunately, it is a mutual decision to leave the fancy outfits at home and hang out in what Oksana can tolerate as casual clothing. Everything she is wearing probably is the product of a social media influencer, but Eve appreciates the small effort. 

"Are you the one that mentions the decades between us? Even I know that twisting your brain into knots about others opinions. You should let me corrupt you so some more out of your inhibitions, but right now we can sleep. I'll promise to tell you at least 30 seconds in advance of seduction plans." Oksana promises almost seriously. 

"Oh, how noble of you," Eve replies drily 

Despite the tone, strangely, that was unique to their relationship, the offer was a little bit tender and chivalrous.


	19. Tougher Than The Rest

_Well It's Saturday night_

_You're all dressed up in blue_

_I been watching you awhile_

_Maybe you been watching me too_

_So somebody ran out_

_Left somebody's heart in a mess_

_Well if you're looking for love_

_Honey I'm tougher than the rest_

_The road is dark_

_And it's a thin thin line_

_But I want you to know I'll walk it for you any time_

_Maybe your other boyfriends_

_Couldn't pass the test_

_Well if you're rough and ready for love_

_Honey I'm tougher than the rest_

_Well it ain't no secret_

_I've been around a time or two_

_Well I don't know baby maybe you've been around too_

_Well there's another dance_

_All you gotta do is say yes_

_And if you're rough and ready for love_

_Honey I'm tougher than the rest_

_If you're rough enough for love_

_Baby I'm tougher than the rest_

"Thank you for doing this, Sana. There is no such thing as 'dying peacefully' with either this disease or my connections back in Russia. At least Irina and Igor have a strong foundation for when I am gone." 

"You were doing so well, staying away from the sentimental declarations. Save your meagre supplies of oxygen. I'm wonderful, you love me, and your scheming with Carolyn was a success, case closed." 

I am too busy applying ridiculously expensive makeup to turn around and give him my full attention, thankfully. Konstantin Vasiliev was so much easier to deal with when he was pushing dancers to their limits getting the best performances. He made a game out of trying to get me to follow instructions or respect authority in any way. Some of my fondest memories involve exchanging banter across Europe and arguing about how many silk displays one production truly needs. He never did turn me into the perfect performer, but he didn't entirely fail either. This new version of my oldest friend is more difficult to deal with and far too emotional. I miss his attacks on my knee strength and core training. Konstantin is the person who knows me the best, but the end of our relationship will be a pitiful imitation of the beginning. 

"You don't fool me, Sana. Eve isn't anything like what you pictured for your casual wedding. At least I'm alive long enough to see you theoretically join the ranks of adulthood, complete with taxes." 

We share a sly grin in the mirror. One of the conditions of looking after orphans is that you need to be a law-abiding citizen which includes a ridiculous amount of money for various governments. Carolyn and her goons don't know about all the offshore accounts, but there is enough there to make me decide on one holiday rather than three. 

"Go and swoon over old Russian folk songs with your comrades. It's a limited time over on the Russian patriotism thing. The first person to get misty-eyed about the winter or drinks by the fire is out of there. Russia is a brutal place with few redeeming features, especially for men like you." 

I wait until I hear the hum of his wheelchair before pausing to wipe away a few stray tears. Losing Konstantin is a slow process, but that doesn't mean it's any less difficult to comprehend a life without him judging my choices and approach to life. I would have married Carolyn's perspective bride even if my future wife was the most boring person on the planet to ease his pain. If things were desperate, I could have married the crone herself. 

Luckily for all those involved that dystopian reality didn't come to pass. 

***

My new wife, Eve, is proof that one person can be interesting. 

I am hyperactive, especially when people are concerned, ever since I began displaying prodigious talents in dance, interest labelling me with formal diagnosis waned. Few sins can't be explained away by an artist’s temperament. Besides, you need high energy to commit to the crazy international touring schedules. I need a constant stream of new people and information to keep life interesting and stop the creeping sensation of endless boredom and apathy. I'm only half-joking when talking about resembling a hummingbird, my attention span is about that fast unless you are talking about dance. 

On paper, Eve would never hold my attention, nor would she seek it as a prize. She avoids grand displays and has painfully mundane tastes in all areas of her list. If I were to sit down and write a list of all the attributes that would typically focus me, my new wife wouldn't have any, but still, I don't find other people nearly as interesting or worth getting to know. Eve was so certain I needed an escape clause for 'monogamy,' or absolution from domestic duties that she fails to see that I engage on those levels because it's her. Every day I learn something new that challenges me and sharpens my wits, oddly more satisfying than searching for the most unavailable person in the room and taking on the challenge. 

"Oh, you sentimental idiot." 

The scene I expect to come across when looking for Eve getting ready for the big party is far from the one I find. Instead of fretting in from of the mirror-like another new spouse, Eve is in an intense conversation with a teenager using sign language. I am too far away to interpret completely, but it seems like the typical teen identity stuff, which I avoided largely thanks to running away to join the circus. Eve is nodding patiently and offering soothing words. Even her hands look gentle and comforting. The simple ring I got her is glittering in the hotel room lights. 

_"You need to up your game. Of course, he is an idiot and does not understand what it means to sign, but it's not going to happen magically. Give it a time limit before moving on. I'm biased, but no boy is worth pinning your self-esteem on unless they are rich and willing to part with cash."_

Eve glowers at me with her standard mixture of fascination and horror, it’s one of my favourite looks on her. The kid in question looks intrigued, so I wait for her to ask more questions. In my opinion, one of the biggest problems for these kids is that not enough people treat them like adults who can handle the emotional pain of everyday life. Because I don't care about their feelings, it makes it easier to for me to discuss them, without losing sleep over the prospect. 

"Parenting with you is going to be an interesting experience; I can already tell." Eve laughs at as she leans against my shoulder. 

I try not to flinch at the term that Eve uses so casually. We dance around the topic for the sake of the investigators, but I will never be a conventional guardian. At the same time, it is becoming easier to navigate these situations. I may not relish time around people under the age of 18, but for the most part, it's not that difficult to figure out. 

***

My new wife, Eve, convinces me that I am not a magical unicorn or a character in a Russian novel going out in a blaze of glory or under train tracks. 

I often repeat variations of the phrase 'dancers burn out young.' - it's true. Human bodies can only go so far and for so long before slowing or breaking down. However, I rarely give the concept much thought before accepting my fate. There is a time when the big salaries, perks and budgets would not be mine to command, but it remains an abstract concept until Eve and our arrangement. There will a time beyond when everyone adores and admires me, for which planning will be essential. 

Case and point are negotiating a new contract in the week after our ceremony but before the grand reception. In life before Eve, I would focus mainly on the short term gains for the glory of the dances themselves. Eve and our responsibilities make me consider timetables and long term investments. I still focus on beauty, but the concept of actually reading the paperwork and asking questions isn't totally out of reach. 

"Will you be my groupie and head around the world for me? Promise not to get your pregnant with a child I barely acknowledge. Although it might be fun to see you explain our situation to one of the cheap tabloids." I muse. 

"If time permits and you don't insist on doing too many off the wall tributes to the female form then I'll find a spot in your dressing room again. I still think you should negotiate the press coverage circuit. There is far too much travelling in this round.” 

"Does that mean I can do private tributes to _your_ form because I wouldn't be against that notion in the slightest." I offer.

Eve is too focused on the paperwork to give that brilliant rejoinder the attention it deserves, though she does flush a pretty shade of pink. One of the ultimate signs of my progress in this department is that Eve doesn't like a finch or turn the topic to safer ground. She lets me flirt with her and seems to enjoy the extent to which I will push but not cross the bounds of propriety. Turns out subtly may be a foreign concept to me most of the time but it has its advantages. 

***

My new wife, Eve, is an advertisement for a notion of family. 

There is that old saying about creating families of choice, rather than blood, especially in the queer community. For me, such sentimentality was never an issue. I was in orbits of people where we can mutually benefit each other, and that's about it. Before Eve, my longest relationship was with Ana, who I choose precisely because she was married unavailable. I am independent in all things, and it's a trait that they foster since during the earliest days in the dance academies. Family and support are luxury items that few in my position in life can achieve. Konstantin took over a decade to form something of a personal relationship with me; even then we have the common ground of our profession. I saw little to no value in needing other people. This arrangement was the definition of trading favours. 

Watching how Eve builds a community with everyone from the twins to my workmates and the theatre is a strange experience. I pride myself on not needing people or being in the position of power in all things; something different is happening during our wedding reception. People are seeking out my attention for more than sex or dancing poses. I have a new set of identities as both part of Team Eve and future guardian for sad Russian orphans. 

"He is using far too much energy, but I think Konstantin is happy with the result, including your wide costume." 

"It's his energy to lose and waste at this point. The old soldiers will keep things from getting too out of hand. Their vodka was watered down three glasses ago." I wave away the concern dismissively. 

People are coming up to me and wanting to talk at regular intervals. While that isn't unusual for a bride, the fact these people _know_ me and want to talk about life events is, I am not simply some celebrity dancer. Eve's friends want to joke with me about stories from her past and try to convince us to change honeymoon locations. Bill and Keiko's daughters are trying to convince Eve to play games in the corner. Amongst this group, I am known as a person, which is something I usually avoid at all costs. Personal engagements only lead to trouble. Except with Eve. I am more caught up her world than a full silks aerial performance. 

***

My new wife, Eve, should seek more of the spotlight and tamper down my first instincts. 

"Why aren't you doing triple backflips and flying down from the rafters with your fairy wings?" 

If Eve has her way, she will spend the entire party acting as an unofficial interpreter and fussing over her students. There is nothing that will please her more than getting the job done without attracting attention. It's half the reason Rachel found her such an easy mark. While she is relaxing the rules for this night, it doesn't come naturally for her. I am constantly dragging her for photos and impromptu dance competitions. The suit looks so spectacular I cannot resist the urge to show her off. 

Besides, it is truly surprising how much you can observe and manipulate when you aren't trying to turn every head in the room. While forcing Eve into something of a rule reversal, I can have a diffrent kind of fun. There are so many people in the room that makes hiding relatively easy. To prevent Eve from worrying too much, I keep a careful eye on the deaf kids who are lurking and not socialising that well. 

"Because I can do that any time, having you out of the shadows and away from the children is a rare opportunity. Thank you for wearing the suit and letting the little theatre minions play with your hair. I'm jealous, of course, but they did an excellent job."

Contrary to popular opinion, and more than a few bets, I did not come to the party in full costume. There is more of a tribute to Titania than a faithful representation; the dress is white with delicate silver trim and flowers at the hem. Eve is in a dark suit with perfect cuffs and trim. Her shirt has the same trim. Everybody in their right minds would know that I'm a performer, but there is no challenging of 80s musicians or their hair. The photos will be a mixture of fun and respectable. Neither of us is ready to act overly romantic in public, but nobody will doubt or affection towards each other or our new family. 

"I think you are angling to show off your fashion choices and the fact you won the theme debate." Eve insists as we move around the floor. 

"Or I could want to show you off and feel smug about the success?" I counter.

***

"Can I tempt you with a final dance?" 

I make the final request as we stand in our hotel room. My wings are a slightly less theatrical size, but it still manage to draw considerable attention. Eve doesn't need much convincing once I promise to spend the day with Irina and Igor tomorrow while she helps her parents run errands. The domestic division of labour makes me roll my eyes, but the result is successful, so I don't resent the instruction too much. The children are annoying and time-consuming, but it's relatively predictable after a while. 

"There are plenty of rumours about the state of dancer's toes and physical stamina, surely even you need a break from those gravity-defying heels, everybody is suitably impressed with your athletics, Your Majesty," Eve scoffs.

"There is more than one way to dance with a new bride, Eve." 

To proof my point, I kick out of the dance shoes and absently stretch and flex my feet in the carpet. Eve wastes no time and its already out of the beautiful suit. It's gratifying to see the care she takes when placing it on the hanger. I feel a pang of regret a seeing her hair tumble from the style that took an hour to finish. Any professional dancer knows how to survive in formal wear, and I'm comfortable raiding the mini-bar in glitter and lace.

"Thank you for making the party accessible to my former students and the twins; it was sweet of you, even if you did have an ulterior motive." 

Eve punctuates her words by pulling me closer and dancing with only the faint piano music for company. Eve doesn't possess natural grace or rhythm, but she follows the steps easily enough, especially when I am not trying to lead her into the final endpoint or seduction. My new wife is a little drunk and is acting with less reserve than usual, even in the privacy of this room. 

"Do you think we will be performing similar steps in twenty years or so?" She asks whimsically. 

"I thought talking about the future, especially the long term, is forbidden, Eve? Besides, there is no way my hips and knees aren't caving into osteoarthritis and shitty catalogue. We'll be moving with much smaller steps and the occasional Zimmer frame." I insist drily. 

"Anybody would think your ages are reversed with the way you go on." Eve quips. 

I have a plan to seduce this woman to point where she forgets her name, troubles and the desire to make coherent sentences, much less fret about her sexual inadequacies. At this point, my efforts wouldn't take much. Eve is more open about her action, letting me touch and not making jokes about her relationship failures every few seconds. For once, she is not waiting for everything to make sense or have a plan. We are just making the best of the unusual circumstances that brought us together. I feel no pressure to make this happen right away or on any timetable. After all, this is the reception of our fake wedding. The emotions are real, but the date was largely for the sake of Konstantin's health and the court timeframes. We will need to come up with much more elaborate anniversaries, like the first time Eve took me out for ice cream after the show. 

"I meant it, you know," Eve whispers against my shoulder.

"Mmm?"

"The vows, it wasn't just to make my parents happy. I can see some sort of future with you, a chaotic one with four-alarm fires and arguments but a real one. Thanks for being a better fake wife a person could ask for and a ridiculous but interesting real girlfriend.” 


	20. The Closing Act

Well it ain't no secret  
I've been around a time or two  
Well I don't know baby maybe you've been around too  
Well there's another dance  
All you gotta do is say yes  
And if you're rough and ready for love  
Honey I'm tougher than the rest  
If you're rough enough for love  
Baby I'm tougher than the rest  
Bruce Springsteen - Tougher Than The Rest

Konstantin lives far longer than people originally predict. 

Even when they factor in the reality that nobody can truly predict life expectancy, his survival comes as a surprise. It is more relevant to note that his final year and months are relatively comfortable, a combination of a gentle winter, excellent home help and emergency staff on call. Oksana doesn't even raise a token protest when a Russian Orthodox priest starts visiting every week, in full uniform. There is no such thing as a 'good death', but there are peaceful ways to die. 

"Igor is going to act like the stoic Russian man of the house and pretend there is no problem. He gets that level of emotional illiteracy straight from me and generations of the Vasiliev family. Irina will want to burn the world down at yet another family member abandoning her for no good reason." Konstantin warns them not long before his voice left. 

"We know this Konstantin. Your children aren't that difficult to figure out and have far less cunning and self-preservation than the average second year at the Bolshoi. We will ride out the emotional preteen storm. " Oksana points out with uncharacteristic patience.

"You and Carolyn didn't make these plans for the fun of watching Oksana act like a grown up. There are measures in place however they react." Eve insists confidently.

The words are a misdirection if bot an outright lie to comfort a dying man. There is no possible way to prepare children to lose a parent. No amount of explanation and support is going to ease that terrible pain. Irina and Igor cope in different ways, but they both withdraw from everybody but each other. The grief counsellors are on stand by and seem perfectly willing to wait for Igor and Irina out until they are ready to talk about that they are feeling. 

The end comes relatively quickly without the slow decline that was one of his worst fears. Everybody kept a vigil at his bedside and stood in for the long-dead Russian relatives he cried for in the night. Oksana swallowed her distaste for her native language and speaks to him in a strangely maternal and soothing tone. Eve marvels at her wife's ability to adapt to any situation. It's not that surprising that an arranged marriage with obvious objectives works for her. Irina and Igor spent as much time as possible with him in the final month (alone and together). 

Month One: Routines and Intimacy at Speed.

The first stress test is living together 24/7 with no escape routes. 

In different ways, Eve and Oksana are fiercely independent people who don't easily fit into the mould of a traditional housemate/roommate situation. Their respective careers depend on the ability to keep moving with little notice. There was a time when Eve was immune to time zones and jetlag. Now their primary responsibility is to do the opposite and form home from separate original parts. 

While Eve didn't allow herself many dreams of life after Rachel's debts, one of them did involve travelling with her divorced friends and celebrating freedom. There is a certain pressure to embrace life after 40 that feels both repellent and attractive. Setting up home with Oksana is a daunting and challenging prospect in part because they are doing this at speed. Olga and the rest of the household staff are spending every moment with Konstantin and his team of caregivers. Eve maintains her separate bedroom for the sake of them both having a place to sleep while splitting shifts. 

"We are going to limit your jacket and shoe collection in our bedroom, not even you can violate the laws of space." Eve insists on first moving day. 

"We are getting better quality sheets and headboard. I think this bed is from Konstantin’s childhood home. He is strangely sentimental about such things." 

"We are not eating in the bed. You eat for too much for breakfast tray, cereal crumbs are a pain to remove." Eve insists firmly. 

"We need to get better lighting in here. No wonder you have difficulty putting on makeup." Oksana glowers into the mirror. 

Their arguments range from small to severe, but in the end, they have room to share. Eve won't admit that she does enjoy the new sheets. 

Month Two: Steadfast Courage and Conviction. 

The second stress test is a full-time guardianship of traumatised children. 

There is no textbook or therapy season on the planet that can prepare a person for supporting children through such a loss. In the initial aftermath, Igor and Irina become frighteningly withdrawn, moving around the house like ghosts barely communicating beyond the minimum. Those first few weeks are incredibly hard, and neither Eve nor Oksana sleeps much. However, at the same time, it does define why they are in this arrangement in the first place. Both Konstantin and Carolyn knew that the twins would need people to rely on, and it didn't matter how they got the result. Oksana is grieving a loss too, but her emotional disconnect and borderline disassociation come into its own. 

"Are you okay? You are allowed to grieve for your oldest friend and almost father as well, Oksana." Eve offers in the quiet of their room one day. 

"I am in my way. Emotions are distant for me, like bad news you hear second or third hand. It’s always been that way. There is a reason why I never broke under the pressure of the first training years. I didn't develop an eating disorder or brittle bones because I was too stubborn to yield." Oksana muses with abstract detachment and interest. 

This talent does make it easier for her to manage the children in the first dark days. Eve and other members of the family are too emotional themselves to wrestle with the spectacular plays. 

Irina is taking out all her frustrations on the nearest people to her. Oksana and Eve can handle the insults. However, there are people in Irina's life who struggle with rages and meltdowns. Her talent for finding and manipulating weak spots in people does not do her any favours. The need to grief and express emotion can only be the excuse for so long, especially when things turn violent. Igor has more than one black eye, but he never tells the truth about the origins. 

"Do you know the price of milk or even those fancy chocolates you inhale by the dozen? How far is it from here to your school." Oksana asks challengingly. 

Irina is calm after a particularly fierce tantrum and proceeds to glare at Oksana as she crouches down directly at eye level. Oksana signs carefully and with broad sweeping gestures that are almost a parody of the language. Irina makes no move to respond, but she also doesn't move away either, which is her other favourite trick. 

"I'm sorry kid, people suck 99% of the time, but until you figure life out, you can't burn every bridge to make the pain stop. If you want to punch something, came to me. We can hang out in the studio or something. Your brother is off limits." Oksana insists firmly.

There are more bad days than good in the first month. Irina spends most of her time shadowing Oksana and learning her favourite hobbies. Igor is no longer in danger of getting hit. 

Month Three: Communication Breakdowns and Breakthroughs. 

The third stress is in the form of mandatory therapy in both English and BSL.

Carolyn Martens insists on making all the arrangements, from the funeral to family therapy. Carolyn is managing profound grief over losing a lover who could have been so much more if circumstances were different. As it was, she deals with the oppressive crush of emotion but organising the rest of the family within an inch of their lives. Finding a multilingual therapist is difficult, but there is little that money and the right connections aren't secure if one have enough patience. Eve tries not to judge the psychologist's signing too harshly. The twins like him, which is the only thing that matters. 

There is so much and so little to talk about at the same time. Irina and Igor are into the routine of a permanent home now in Britain. However, they have a lifetime of nomadic habits to overcome. Therapy is a daunting prospect for anyone and children in particular. Eve and Oksana are largely there for moral support but have adult sessions every week or so, the agencies want to monitor this process carefully. Eve gently refuses to act as a 'go between' for Irina and the therapist. It's too important that they find common ground themselves. 

"We have all this money. Why did Dad have to die when there are millions of doctors in the world?" Irina burst out one day. 

"If money was the answer to immortality, the Oscars would look very different each year. Your Dad had crappy lungs and even worse timing, nothing could have saved him, Rini." Oksana replies calmly. 

There are no answers to such questions but Eve and Oksana take turns sitting with the twins separately so that they can ask them all the same. Death isn't an abstract concept to children of a sick parent, but it is going to take many sessions to make the fact a bearable reality. Oksana doesn't once act bored or start to fidget. Eve learns to cry late at night when the kids are asleep. 

Month Four: Of Identity, People and Workplace Politics. 

The fourth stress test is managing new professional roles from within a family unit. 

Eve takes on a new role as a translation with one of the World Disability Rights UN programmes. The job is in London and does not require extensive travel. There is a core group of Deaf delegates who work out of the office; Her multiple languages are especially useful when one of the major investors is from Korea is self-conscious about his English. Even though English is the 'universal' language and often a requirement in school, individual proficiencies vary. Switching between languages is exhausting, and she works beyond the standard signing rotations, but the work is rewarding. Even better, none of her meagre salary is going towards the courts or medical bills. 

The strange thing is that for all her protests about boundaries, Eve starts to miss the home environment with Oksana. They existed in something of an artificial environment, but the pressures of going to back to work are intense. Eve finds it difficult to trust the caregiving arrangements, even though Irina loves hanging with Bill and Keiko. It's also slightly surreal to have a role where all her colleagues and new friends know her as a wife (with a young Russian bride) and the guardian of two children. Nobody comments but Eve isn't naive enough to think that there isn't speculation.

Oksana is her date for workplace events. At first, Eve was nervous about bringing her two worlds together, but such a concession was only logical when there are photos on her desk. Oksana manages to charm everyone and even score herself a contract with a dance enthusiast on the board. 

The routines are more frantic, but the result is worthwhile after a few teething problems and arguments. Eve doesn't need lunch every day for starters. 

Month Five: Building Foundations and Fixing Routines. 

The fifth stress test comes when the 'honeymoon period' is over. 

With the best will in the world, all the people that rally around them in the immediate aftermath need to go back to regular lives. For one thing, Carolyn Martens needs to serve the government that put her in power. The older woman didn't promise to hold their hands through the rest of their lives until the twins are of age. One only needs to ask the Snowden children to know that she isn't cut out for such a role. Her connection ends at the transference of resources and personnel. She does display the art of 'Aunt Caro' as the twins call her. 

Building a routine for their new family unit of four often feels like an impossible task when it is only the two of them dividing the labour. The nature of twins is that they have individual (often different needs) at the same time. Igor has a full calendar, both socially and sport wise. Irina is making more friends and connections. 

"How long are we going to be moving on the homework train? Maths is the work of the devil. Igor should be able to do this on the computer. Why are we slaving over the textbooks at all hour?." Oksana complains with a huff. 

"There is only two more weeks until the end of the term. Think of Maths as another language that you can learn." Eve encourages with an affectionate hug. 

Oksana's knowledge of Maths and its practical applications do not improve, but the twins hold steady grades. 

Month Six: The Definition of Family and Support. 

The six stress test comes without warning when Eve's mother becomes gravely ill. 

For most adult children, there is a certain level of denial that parents will ever die. While Eve knows all too well how mortal they are, it doesn't stop the fear and uncertainty. There care at this place is second to none but nobody can stop the progression on ageing, even if people stay calm and comfortable. The doctors say it’s a combination of her failing physical health and a particularly nasty bug that is wreaking havoc in rest homes. The result is the same. Eve is spending most nights at the hospital, speaking softly in Korean. 

Oksana doesn't protest the change in their usual division of labour, but she draws the line at doing weeks of laundry. A wash mart has a boom in business for those few weeks. Eve is cognizant enough to be grateful for the fresh outfits in her draws most mornings. 

"You can't keep living at the hospital and jumping at every little alarm. Isn't that why your NHS boasts every year? Perfect health care for all?" Oksana calls from the doorway. 

"My mother's illness doesn't work on a timetable, Oksana. I need to be there for her." Eve says without looking up the suitcase. 

"She is still stable, Eve, the chest infection isn't getting any worse. Stay and have a meal that isn't from a vending machine. Olga made those cookies that you pretend not to love." Oksana says firmly barring her exit. 

Eve argues and yells but does stay for a few minutes to inhale dinner and hug the kids. 

Month Seven: The Practicalities of Containing Sky Dancer. 

The seventh stress test comes when an old friend offers Oksana something close to her dream job. More specifically, the trouble comes when Oksana decides to ignore the offer entirely. 

Surprisingly enough, Oksana doesn't complain too vocally about what essentially a demotion and a setback her career. For all her dire predictions about the downfall of her body and bones, there were still plenty of good years left at the higher end of production. Oksana is getting rave reviews for numerous shows around London, but nothing will compare to her previous life. There a few glamorous locations and even fewer expressive budgets for luxury items and wavers for the star of the show. Eve enjoys being the groupie on the side-lines. 

"You should at least go and meet with the company, Oksana. Positions like this one to do not come up every day." 

"Unless you want people to genuinely speculate about our age gap and age play, stop acting like a stage parent." Oksana says calmly without looking up. 

"Does it ever get boring making these witty comebacks and quips? We need to consider this seriously. This job is everything you were hoping for, including creative control." Eve persists, pointing at the clause in the contract. 

Oksana doesn't take the job, but she does make a smaller run. 

Month Eight: The Ethics in the Space Between Right and Wrong. 

The eighth stress comes when the government becomes unduly interested in Vasiliev Holdings. 

Oksana takes a typically entitled view of money and is known to view taxes as something close to optional. Eve is careful to take control of their joint accounts. However, Konstantin didn't earn all his money from strictly legal means. He was a fantastic dancer and choreographer, but the artistic skills only went so far unless one was on call for Jenifer Lopez or similar. Carolyn did her best to keep everything in order or offshore, but that does not mean everything was in the black. They all knew some form of auditing would occur. 

"Are we in trouble, Carolyn, do you have a plan for if the investigation escalates?" Eve grills her while trying not to pace. 

"Stop panicking Eve, its unattractive; we were never going to avoid the investigation entirely. There is nothing that the lawyers can't handle. Nothing will affect you or the children." Carolyn stays eerily calm. 

Eve glowers at the words but obediently settles down and waits for an explanation. Any threat that involves money or more specifically, financial instability is terrifying. Eve can't stomach the idea of facing more questions into every little expense and decision. Not after gaining a sense of privacy back. 

Month Nine: The strangeness of imaginary and involuntary crisis management. 

The ninth stress test comes when their secret that isn't a secret gets out amongst some friends. 

Bill swears till he is blue in the fact that it wasn't him or Keiko who talked about the origins of this arrangement. If for no other reason than Bill gets enough slack for marrying a much younger heiress and having children later in life. Hr would never willingly place that amount of gossip and speculation on another couple, even if he does have doubts about Oksana's intentions. In a practical sense, the discovery is irrelevant to their current relationship, but everybody seems to have an opinion. Touchingly, most of Eve's friends are hurt she didn't come to them. 

Some gossip Instagram page with more ambition than relevance follows stumbles across the Holdings Case and doesn't take long to make the connection between the dance star and her much older companion. The math is relatively simple, and there is enough evidence in the public record. The story doesn't have enough Kardashians to go truly viral, but equally, the dance community is a small one once one reaches a particular level. It doesn't take long for their friends to make the connection. The fury of Carolyn Martens is swift and knows no bounds. The social media star in question is quick to issues corrections if not apologises. 

"Wow, I didn't know things were so bad for you. Learn to reach out, Evie," is the consensus from her family members. 

"Was that truly the only option? We would have helped with your parents, Eve. Asking for help isn't the worst thing in the world." Her friends lament over different mediums. 

Oksana doesn't have any family or close friends to reassure, but she does have to shake off negative assessments in the public eye for a while. The attention is swift but mostly fleeting. Aside from the unconventional beginnings, there is a little scandal to be found. All the time with the lawyers is worth the investment. 

Month Ten: The Definition of a Stepford Wife in Practice. 

The tenth stress test comes when Eve forgets they are not a conventional couple. 

Eve finds it surprisingly easy to fall into the regular patterns of married life, even though things couldn't be more different from her experience with Niko. In the practical day to day realities things arenot too different. Eve keeps track of Oksana's schedule and runs errands for dry cleaning and groceries. Surprisingly Oksana is capable of buying more than junk food now and doesn't complain too much about coming in under budget and restricting her ice-cream intake to human levels. 

However, small modifications do not fundamentally change who Oksana is a person. An opportunity to go out and party with friends from her last production is too tempting. Eve actively encourages Oksana to take up the invitation and even joins them for an early dinner. One of the firm ground rules in their relationship is that they don't put pressure on each other to change. 

Eve doesn't strictly mean to wait at up for most of the night, waiting for Oksana to return, it happens without conscious thought. She gets through hours of paperwork while glancing at the clock every few minutes. There is no reason for Oksana to come home tonight and she under no obligation to check in with Eve about any decisions. The anxiety in the pot of her stomach is misplaced, but Eve cannot help feeling it all the same. 

"Next time you are going to be out late at night, please let me know. Irina was waiting for a story." Eve tries her best to sound calm, but irritation creeps through. 

"You are not my keeper, Eve, I will be back to playing our perfect little roles soon, a night off isn't the end of the world." Oksana says drunkenly, still managing to look graceful. 

"I was worried about you. Your friends seem to like hitting the substances pretty hard, even by professional athletic standards. At least your pupils don't look like the surface of the eclipse." Eve points out carefully. 

Oksana starts muttering something about freedom and lightweights, but she dutifully takes several cups of water. She is under the influence of something but not displaying any concerning symptoms. For one thing, Oksana is jumping between languages without pause and is keeping a decent centre of gravity. Eve will take the small relationship wins at this stage. 

Month Eleven: Negotiation of Relationship Dynamics 

The eleventh stress test comes when Oksana forgets Eve isn't another conquest. 

Their intimate and sexual relationship develops slowly and is not without its challenges. Sex is the last thing on both their minds. Trying to settle the children sucks all free time. Eve is enjoying her new roles both at work and in their home environment. Eve is confident that Oksana is actively practising monogamy if for no other reason than Igor is clinging to her like a limpet, needing constant attention and validation. Oksana Astankova would be most people's idea of a security blanket, but she is Igor's with her constant desire to have fun and distract from the serious topics in life. Eve knows it most likely has something to do with Oksana displaying the best and most memorable parts of Konstantin. 

Trouble comes with the slow decline in their sex lives. The change doesn't bother Eve, but it is disconcerting to her wife. 

"I refuse to be a bad lesbian TV show drama cliche. We are going to figure this out without you going into the personal rant about your 'brokenness.'” Oksana declares with no small amount of impatience. 

"Cliches exist for a reason, Sana. It's not like differing libidos aren't a thing that creates an entire industry...especially with our differing ages." Eve begins carefully. 

"Don't exchange one cliche for another. We are not going through some 'age gap' period of reckoning or whatever else your pseudo-intellectual friends believe.” 

Month Twelve: Of Milestones and Medioracity. 

The twelfth stress test comes when Oksana wants to renew though vows for real. Of course, by now, this relationship couldn't get any more real in practice, but the younger woman feels insistent about the concept for some reason. One thing Eve is learning in the first year of their marriage is that Oksana is bizarrely sentiment when the mood strikes. True, making it to this point in their family unit is an achievement, in the form of documented approval from the agency. Eve feels absolutely no reason to go through another public spectacle. Her limit is one every decade or so, Oksana is being ornery about wanting to mark the milestone. It’s a sign of progress that they manage to talk about the issues rather than leaping into abstract concepts. 

"Against odds that rival a statistical impossibility, we are more or less making a legitimate relationship work with 'communication', 'conflict resolution,' 'cuddling' and 'children' work and you don't want to acknowledge in any way?" Oksana drawls the therapy words in a strangely American way. 

"Sana. We couldn't be more in a relationship if we tried to emulate a RomCom. There are trees-worth of paperwork attesting to our marriage. All our friends know about the relationship particulars. Going through all that drama again is completely pointless. My parents are too frail and are just getting their heads around our situation." Eve tries to explain for the tenth time. 

"That doesn't mean we can't have a small party to acknowledge the passage of time."   
"Yes it does. You don't know the meaning of the term small scale." 

They argue about the prospect for days, never reaching a solid compromise between the practical and the whimsy. In the end, fate decides for them. Oksana's latest production receives a large injection of cash, and she needs to do a small tour. Eve promises to consider a small gathering in return for the right to veto overt displays on social media. 

On the actual day of their wedding, Oksana takes Eve to dinner, and they talk quietly about nothing in particular and remember Konstantin with expensive Russian Vodka. Eve's throat is still burning and regretting that decision. 

***

Eve takes Oksana on an unconventional honeymoon as compensation for refusing to marry her a second time. Her wife sulks but accepts the invitation without too much trouble. The twins are happy to stay home with their new nanny (who is a BSL grad student). Eve can't help but notice that Oksana leaves more detailed instructions than she does, of course, Oksana is the far more agreeable guardian. For two experienced travellers, it took the couple hours to get out the door, relaying the school schedule and after school activities. Bill offers to check in on the kids regularly when he is on the school run. 

If they were following tradition,l this time (roughly speaking) would be their Paper Anniversary. To honour this (archaic and slightly elitist system) Eve takes Oksana on that promised trip through Seoul with a map of her favourite places. Oksana claims she first noticed Eve in this city while watching her interpret for Carolyn years ago. Eve doubts the sincerity of that claim, if for no other reason than her job was fade into the background. However, Eve finds herself enjoying the whimsy of indulging this statement. Her parents are delighted she is heading back and weigh her down with an impossible and mostly illegal shopping list. Britain has a thriving ex-pat community (including relatives), but that's beside the point. 

While Eve originally masterminds the plan to stop Oksana from resenting her practical nature, she begins to enjoy the process of putting together an itinerary. While she wasn't born in Korea and immigrated multiple times, across the world in her life, there is a certain pull to the place her parents revere so much. Going on holiday with Oksana is like designing a trip for Enigma Code if these last 12 months have taught Eve anything it’s how to rise to that challenge. 

"You know we don't even need to leave this expensive hotel and unlimited barbeque? a whole week without the children under feet and interrupting the more interesting adult activities." Oksana reasoned with a particular gleam in her eye. 

"Hell no. You are the one that was so keen on the traditions of marriage, Sana. Here is your paper anniversary gift." Eve insists on dragging her companion across the hotel room. 

Oksana is looking at the hand-drawn map and itinerary list with interest. Eve is grateful for the effort that went into choosing high-quality paper and ink. Eve was an apathetic calligraphy student at best, but some of her grandparent's lessons still stuck. Eve manages to complete the whole map project with minimal cursing and a respectable number of ink stains. While it's not the most traditional or romantic use of paper, most of Oksana's favourites make an appearance. 

First: on the list is a day of eating three meals at some of the best places in the city. Korea is developing something of a reputation for immersive dining experiences at all price points. Surprisingly, not every location breaks the bank. Theoretically, they are having Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. In practice, Oksana inhales prodigious amounts of meat, rice and local vegetables. 

Second: is having fun--(one of them) defying gravity at one of the famous amusement parks and space Simulators. The designers for each were on loan from one of the space programmes, so the rush was intense. Eve has more fun taking photos to send to the children than being an active participant. 

Third: is going to one of the biggest and most expensive retail sections of the city. Eve thinks that Oksana is more thrilled when she promises not to complain about prices or trying on 18 different variations of the same style. They have a bag limit, but it comes close. 

Fourth: involves spending the afternoon loading up on presents for the people in their lives (a surprisingly long list). Korean definitely isn't Oksana's strongest language, but the shopkeepers are charmed by her earnest attempts and free-spending ways. 

Eve doesn't need to marry Oksana again to know that she wants the option to reconsider the choice in ten years. The biggest milestone they can mark together is the willingness to keep going, whatever the future brings.


End file.
